Tainted Innocence:
by Padme-And-Anakin-4-Ever
Summary: AU.Bella was raped by her stepfather and sent off to live in Forks.She is emotionally scarred, what happens when she meets a family of Vampires in Forks? Can Edward bring her out of her shell? I suck at summarys, story better than summary
1. Chapter 1

Tainted Innocence

Prologue

I can still feel his fingertips digging into my flesh.

I can still feel his grimy skin against mine, mixing his sweat with my tears.

I can still hear my muffled screams of protest, while his enormous hand clamped over my mouth.

But most of all, I can remember the disbelieving look on my Mother's face when I told her, her husband was a rapist.

She didn't believe me. No one believed me. Phil was a master manipulator, and convinced others I was just seeking an audience. That their recent engagement left me craving love and attention from my Mother. In truth, I would have given anything for that love and attention. I prayed for my Mother to hold me and tell me 'Everything is gonna be ok, Bella.' But I never achieved such satisfaction.

Instead, they shipped me off.

Punishment for baring my soul, when every ounce of me was stricken with fear over Phil's rage. Knowing very well I would be taught a lesson after my confession. He always made good on his word.

I was to spend the rest of my schooling with my Father, Charlie. I have never been very close with my Father, my Mother left him when I was just a child. I suppose you could say she had a hand at ripping my childhood away from me. Taking away any chance I had at closeness with my Father, and a male figure I could actually count on.

But no, I wasn't angry with my Mother. No matter how much it hurt that she chose the man who stole my innocence, over her own daughter. On the contrary, I was terrified for her. If he did this to me, I couldn't fathom on what he could bestow upon my ignorant Mother. That thought alone, would plague my dreams with nightmares.

I don't sleep much nowadays as it is. Not when the only thing I see is Phil's sadistic smile of satisfaction while towering over my crumpled form. I was weak because of him, I was scarred because of him, I was nothing because of him. Nothing but tainted innocence. Ruined by a man who was stronger. I was broken.

----

The silence during the car ride from Seattle to Forks would have be awkward for most, but I was thankful for it. Charlie was never one for words, but neither was I. I think I inherited that trait.

The lush greenery of the Forks landscape filled my view as we passed the city line. I pressed my forehead against the cold car door window and watched the white lines of the rode pass. I let the cool glass ease my raging nerves as we entered town. Reluctantly I rose my gaze to the eyes probing the Police car I sat in. _Great, only in Forks for less than an hour, and already I'm gaining stares..Tomorrow should be utter Joy.._

I quickly averted my gaze elsewhere, back to the ongoing lines of the pavement. Charlie broke the silence first.

"So, you excited for school tomorrow?" _Excited? More like dreading it with every fiber of my being._ But I just smiled in reply.

The Police cruiser came to a halt in the driveway. _My new driveway.. _

Charlie smiled as he pulled my bags out of the trunk, eyeing a rusty old 1953 Chevy nestled comfortably beside the cruiser.

"Ya like her?"

"Yeah, looks great. But why do you need two cars Char-Dad?" I swung my bag over my shoulder and eyed the vehicle carefully. It's red paint was chipping away with age, and it seemed to be worn. Rust covering parts of its once perfect body. _Kinda like me.._

"Yeah, well thats the thing Bells. I don't. This baby is your welcome home present." He smiled triumphantly, then let it fall a little. "I know she is kinda old, but she runs like new. I bought it off my old friend Billy Black. His kid rebuilt the whole thing."

I gave him a wide smile and traced my fingers alongside its frame. _My new car.._

"Thanks dad, its perfect, I love it."

Charlie shrugged indifferently and carried my bags inside, pointing every so often to a room, telling me where to find the bathroom and what not. Once up the stairs he led me into a room with baby blue walls and a small bed in the center up against the wall. A brand new purple comforter covering it. _My new room.._

With a slight nod, he put my bags down and left me to my privacy. Thats the best thing about Charlie, he doesn't hover.

I sighed and sat on the bed, looking around at old drawings I made as a child. I felt a lump in my throat rise up at the thought of having to face Forks High School tomorrow. I'm not what you call a social butterfly, and ever since Phil..I am more than a little awkward with the male species.

I let myself plop down on my pillow and looked to the ceiling, tracing patterns in it with my eyes. This was all new to me, but I better make the best of it. _My new life.._

At least there was no Phil in this new life.


	2. Chapter 2

Tainted Innocence

Chapter One

The Meeting

Bella Pov:

The annoying black box next to my bed started screaming at me. I hastily smacked the 'Off' button and fought my way out of the tangled sheets. I didn't sleep much last night, I dreamt of him again. I pushed my fists into my eyes to draw back the images flowing through my mind. Once I was sure they were locked away tight, I set my feet on the cold floor and began making preparations for the 'halls of hell'.

I quickly dressed for the day's events, dressing warmly. I'm not use to this type of climate, so I dressed in a light brown turtleneck sweater, and a pair of my favorite grubby jeans. I looked in the mirror and frowned. These sleepless nights were starting to show. My eyes began producing small dark circles underneath them, looking darker than normal with my ivory complexion. My chestnut hair trailed down my shoulders and flowed down my back. I did my best to make a good impression on my first day, but soon realized it was a lost cause and gave up.

Once downstairs I found a plate of burnt bacon and over done eggs waiting for me on the small table in the kitchen. This is when I realized, Charlie and a stove should never come in contact again. I would assume kitchen duties from now on. I nibbled on a piece of bacon, that was too hard to chew, and tossed the rest in the waste basket. Yep, definitely gonna do the cooking around here. Who messes up bacon? _Charlie.._

_----_

The air was damp and chilly, I clung my jacket tighter as I made my way to my ancient truck. I lived about a mile away from the school and was leaving a little early, but I figured the sooner I get there the sooner I can leave.

The truck started with a loud roar, but smoothly found its way to the road. I drove quietly, preparing myself for the many whispers and stares I would receive today. Not only am I the daughter of the Police Chief, but I am the _strange_ daughter of the Police Chief. I am very plane and soft spoken, rarely give my input in any class, and conversations with me always result in awkward silence in the end. I hope no one even notices me.

I pulled into an empty spot of the parking lot, when my truck made a loud bang, announcing my arrival. My plan for invisibility was shot to hell now. The small groups of children making their way to the school building quickly shot their glances my way. I shrunk down into my seat and slid out the door, throwing my hair in my face and looking down to my feet.

I couldn't help but eye the shiny silver volvo that was parked several spaces away from my truck as I made my way to the entrance.

_' This just goes to show how out of place I am here.'_ I thought inwardly.

After receiving my school schedule I made my way to class. English with Mr. Mason was my first period. I quietly entered the room and shuffled to Mr. Mason's desk. He was grading some last minute papers and didn't take any notice to me. I cleared my throat to sound him off, causing his head to shoot up and meet my gaze.

"Ah, you must be Miss Swan?" He put his pen down and held his hand out for me to shake.

I looked at it like a venomous snake about to strike, and rose a shaky, hesitant hand to his gesture. He gripped it firmly but quickly pulled it away, sensing my hesitance. I was grateful and gave him a knowing smile.

"Here are the books you'll need. We have a couple open seats, one up front and two in the back. Go ahead and take your pick. If you get lost just raise your hand and let me know, alright?" Mr. Mason waited for my reply, so I gave him an abrupt nod and took the seat farthest in the back.

When students came filing in, they made sure to eye the new girl in the back. This made me self-conscious and more than a little anxious. I taped my pencil against the desk nervously throughout class, willing the clock to speed up. Once the bell rang, I waited till nearly everyone was out of the class before I packed up and headed out my own way.

School went on pretty much the same each period. Government with Mr. Jefferson was rather boring, but he didn't call on me once. So I was more than pleased with those results. Trigonometry with Mr. Varner was trying. A girl in that class named..Jessica or Jenny or something like that, kept rambling on about how cool it is to have a new student in Forks. I didn't share her enthusiasm. And sadly, the girl followed me to my fourth period class, Spanish. I figured I would make the best of having an escort around a strange place filled with hormone infested males, so I accepted her invitation to lunch.

"So how you liking Forks, Bella?" Jessica flipped her wavy hair and led me through the lunch line.

"Its..Ok." I hadn't really seen enough of it to make a concrete conclusion.

"I'll show you around, we'll be best friends." She assured me.

Jessica took her seat at a long table filled with a handful of other students. She cleared her throat, announcing she wanted to be heard, and waved a hand in my direction.

"Guys, this is my new friend Bella Swan! She just moved here from Phoenix, isn't that, like, really awesome?" Jessica smiled. "Bella this is Mike, Eric, Angela, Lauren, and Tyler."

They all greeted me with a smile and a hello, except for the one named Lauren. She glared at me and continued with her lunch.

"Hi." I managed and sat across from Jessica, setting down my lemonade.

The guy named Mike seemed to find me intriguing. He kept smiling at me and offered to show me around. I politely told him I would manage, as I scooted my chair a little further away from him. His close proximity made me anxious. I found out, during lunch, that Jessica was quite the chatter box. And if you ever needed to know anything about anyone, she was the one to go to.

"Oh my God, Bella! Edward Cullen is looking at you." Jessica giggled as I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Whats an Edward Cullen?"

"Uh, only one of the cutest guys in the entire Forks High School." She quickly became defensive. "But also one of the most stuck up, strange, anti-social-"

"He is one of the Foster kids Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted." Angela interrupted Jessica's little rant with a small smile. " They moved here a couple years ago from Alaska. They are pretty quiet, and they keep to themselves. I hardly see how that makes them stuck up Jess."

Jessica leaned forward on the table, ensuring she could whisper to me without anyone hearing.

"But they are 'together'. The blonde one, her name is Rosalie Hale. She is with that really big guy, who looks like he could rip your limbs off. His name is Emmett. The little black haired girl's name is Alice, and she is totally weird. She is with Rosalie's brother Jasper Hale, the other blonde one."

The way she was talking about them caught my fascination. I turned my head enough to peek through my hair, at the table she was talking about. Sure enough I saw them. Rosalie looked like she was right out of a fashion magazine. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her back as she leaned into Emmett. Alice was beautiful too, in a mythical kind of way. She was holding Jasper's hand and laughing amongst her siblings.

Then I saw him. The one that must be Edward Cullen. He had perfect ivory skin, even paler than mine. With a disheveled batch of bronze hair, yet he looked very clean cut. He was staring at me with something I couldn't quite pinpoint...curiosity?

I could feel the heat fill my face at the realization that I was staring right back at him. I quickly turned away, expecting to feel self-conscious again. But strangely, I felt..calm, comfortable. I couldn't explain why, he was a guy and usually around men I was terrified. Maybe it was just because he was halfway across the room. That had to be it, it had to be the distance.

"The one kinda off to himself, thats Edward right?"

Angela smiled at me and nodded. "Yep, thats Edward."

The bell rang, making me jump a bit and grabbed my belongings.

"Hey, wanna walk to class together?" Mike asked approaching me with a smile.

"S-Sure." I quickly put distance between us as he led me to class. Being careful not to come off as a nut job, but also careful enough to ensure he didn't touch me.

Once I entered Biology, I saw him again. Edward was sitting by the only open seat, staring into space. Or he was till I entered the room. He looked up at me sharply and his body became ridged. He gave me a look of disgust and I felt my heart fall. Why was he looking at me like that? What have I ever done to him? _Just be glad he is disgusted by you instead of the unpleasant alternatives.._I told myself. But even that didn't ease the lump in my throat.

"Miss Swan if you'll just take your seat over there, we can begin. If you have any questions just ask."

I didn't bother to respond to Mr. Banner as I took hesitant steps towards my seat. My heart pounding with each step, until I was finally seated. Edward scooted his chair as far away from me as possible, which didn't bother me, because I enjoyed the distance. Yet for some strange reason, It did bother me. But I made no move towards him, instead I folded my hands in my lap and slumped my shoulders, causing my hair to hide my face from his view.

The class went on like this the whole period. Every once in a while I would gain the courage to peek through my hair at him, only to find him still glaring at me. His black eyes boring into the side of my face. When the bell rang, he high tailed it out of class before I could even grab my things. _There is another serious blow to my non existent ego.._

I packed up and slung my bag over my shoulder. Mike was already waiting for me at the door. This Mike guy was really starting to irritate me. Maybe normal girls would like this type of attention but to me it was exhausting trying to avoid him.

"Hey, looks like we got Gym together too huh?" Mike grabbed my shoulder affectionately.

I froze.

_He grabbed my shoulder roughly, digging his nails into my skin, and forced me onto the bed. _

_"Please, don't do this Phil.." I begged. But he just kept getting closer._

_"Phil please.." I pleaded once more as he pushed me against the bed. I could feel his breath on my neck. It made my stomach churn._

_"Stop!"_

"Stop!" I pulled away from Mike quickly, backing into one of the tables and banging my hip against the edge. I did my best to steady my breaths as I looked up the a bewildered Mike, who had his hands in the air, as if surrendering to the authorities.

"Woah! Sorry Bella, didn't mean to over step the line there.."

"I..just have this thing about being touched is all..sorry Mike." I bit my lip and eased myself away from the table, noticing Mr. Banner looking at me with wide eyes as well. Obviously making a mental note not to touch the crazy girl.

"Oh..well I respect that. Sorry to have offended you..so uh..I'll see you in class then huh?" Mike left the room, and not soon enough for his liking.

_There I go again..the freak..well at least there won't be any misunderstandings about my boundaries now.._

I lifted a shaky hand to the door and left for Gym. My 'favorite' class of the day. Gym should be illegal for non coordinated people like me, who trip on their own shadow. I'll be lucky if I make it though the school year alive.

----

Edward Pov:

I sat in my Volvo, trying to clear my mind. My throat was still burning fiercely, I had never smelled anything as exquisite as that girl's blood. It was so strong she almost broke my resolve. I spent the whole class fantasizing about what her blood would feel like seeping down my throat, extinguishing the burning fire that engulfed it. I would take my time with her, for her blood is precious. I would not waste a drop, I would drink from her hungrily but savior the taste.

Her delicate neck was so cleverly hidden behind a turtleneck, but I could easily rip the damned cloth out of the way and indulge on her nourishment. Her pulse beneath her soft, creamy skin beaconed me. I felt more like a monster at that moment than I had in a very long time.

That girl would be the end of me. I fought so hard to live life the Cullen way, if you wanna call it living. Feed only on the blood of animals, never humans. I have taken human lives before, but never an innocent. That girl, Bella, she was an innocent. She was so vulnerable and innocent, she shied away from me. Perhaps it was her natural instincts telling her that I was dangerous.

Something about her intrigued me, and not just the scent of her blood. She was the first being to ever shield me from her thoughts. Usually I have to struggle to keep the voices out of my head, but this time, I found myself struggling to hear even a whisper from Bella. But I didn't even get that, a whisper.

I closed my eyes and cranked up the volume of the radio. Debussy always calmed my nerves.

I spent the remainder of the class like this, waiting for my family to come out and join me. Alice told me Bio was going to be tough on me, but tough was an understatement. I got out of the car and leaned against the front of it.

I watched as the humans filed out of the doors and to their vehicles, completely unaware their school is full of predators that could snap their necks with the flip of a finger. I clenched my fists and held my ground when I saw Bella emerge from the Gym room. I watched as she weaved her way through the crowd of people, almost as if to make sure she made no physical contact. She passed me, on her way to her truck, and my throat was scorching. I held my ground, watching her intently. She stumbled into her truck, very ungracefully. If my throat hadn't been on fire, I would of laughed. This girl is amusing.

I let this fill my mind, telling my thirst the girl is too innocent to take. She must live, along with all of these other petty humans. I returned to the car when I saw my family emerge. They joined me in the car without even asking why I seemed on edge. Alice must have filled them in. She had more faith in my ability to hold back than I did.

"How was it?" Alice asked quietly.

"Your the physic, you tell me." I gripped the steering wheel tightly, swallowing the venom that filled my mouth at the memory of Bella's scent.

"Your going to have to hunt in order to go to school tomorrow."

"I'm not going to school tomorrow. I can't risk taking that girl's life. Its too risky for our family."

"Edward, I don't see you killing her..Somehow you mange to deal with her scent." Alice was looking out the window as she spoke. The other remained silent.

"I don't see any other way around this, Alice, than to just leave. I could jeopardize the family." I ground my teeth together in frustration. How could a simple human have so much power over me?

"Like I told you, Edward. I don't see you killing her. So you will just be putting Esme through the heartache of watching one of us leave for no reason, other than your just too stubborn to listen to someone else." She sent a glance my way, followed by a 'humph'.

"Your visions are subjective Alice. But, your right. I can't put Esme through that. I'll just take the rest of the week off, and feed more than I usually do." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "That way I'll be satisfied enough, come Monday, to deal with Swan."

Alice smiled triumphantly and turned her attention back to the window as I neared our long driveway.

I heard a loud chuckle come from the back seat and felt a slap on my shoulder.

"Good, cuz if you left because a little girl scared you off. I wouldn't let you live it down for the rest of your existence." Emmett's laugher filled the volvo, followed by my annoyed growl.

"Aw, come on bro. Lighten up! Hey, I'll treat ya. Lets go find us some Mountain Lions, whadd'ya say?"

I sighed and parked the volvo in the garage. "I say, the amount of Mountain Lions I would need to consume to get rid of this inferno in my throat would put it on the endangered species list."

"Raccoons then. Them little bastards piss me off." He grumbled.

Even I couldn't help but crack a smile at Emmett's futile attempt to lighten the mood.

----

By the time I returned home from hunting, it was already well into the night. The humans would be asleep by now, which is something I envied of them. To have the ability to rest your mind for a couple hours out of the day. I can't even remember what it felt like to sleep, its been so long.

I was rather full of deer blood, nearly uncomfortably full. But I had no other alternative than to feed until I could no longer think about how delicious Bella's blood smelt to me and.._Dammit_

I swallowed the venom that flowed into my mouth at the thought. How was I ever going to get past my animalistic urge to drink Bella's blood? The thought of it was like my own euphoria. I had to get this girl out of my mind. Maybe if I made her seem more real..Maybe if I saw her living her life outside of school, I could see the family that loved her, and see the devastation I would be leaving behind.

With a deep sigh I left my room of solitude, and reentered the forest. I leapt and bounded at neck breaking speed. It was exhilarating, I loved to run, I felt so free when I ran. I made my way, soundlessly, to the Swan house, and nestled in a tree over looking Bella's bedroom window. It was late, and her lights were still on. I kept in the shadows and watched her carefully, with my heightened hearing I could hear her steady breathing as she read the Jane Austin book in her hands.

I got a better look at her face this time, her hair was tied back. Unlike today, when she hid behind a shield of chestnut waves. Her eyes were shadowed with sleepless nights, and her body thin from lack of proper nourishment. But despite the obvious signs that she didn't care for herself properly, she was..Beautiful?

Her Ivory skin was smooth and looked soft to the touch. Her lips were full and her eyes were deep pools of brown. Her long eyelashes accented them very well. She had a natural beauty, and this stirred strange emotions within me. I watched her carefully, hoping that soon something would explain exactly what these emotions meant.

She set her book on the nightstand beside her and sighed in defeat. I could tell by her body language she was in need of sleep. She bit her lip and looked at the glowing red numbers of her alarm clock. It read 4:30 P.M. School was only a couple of hours away, yet she stayed up at this hour?

Bella eased herself underneath her comforter and switched off her light. I edged closer to her window quietly. Her eyes were scouting the room, for what I wasn't certain. But once she was sure she received the outcome she was looking for, she let her eyes flutter closed. I heard her breathing become calm and relaxed.

But not for long.

Not too long after I was sure she was peacefully asleep, Bella's breathing became sharper. Her little fists balled up the comforter in her grasp, and she began to whimper. I furrowed my brow at the site of what appeared to be a nightmare. My chest tightened. But why? The strange emotions began to stir again.

"N-No.." The words escaped her lips, I wasn't sure I heard it, but they did. Bella talks in her sleep?

"Phil..d-don't..."

She repeated the same words over and over in her sleep. She thrashed around and tears began to fall from her eyes. Until suddenly, she shot up in bed, bringing the comforter up to her mouth to muffle her screams. I could hear her Father's steady breathing in the other room, so I knew her silent screams went unheard. Or at least to everyone else but me.

Bella glanced at the clock once more, this time it read 5:45 P.M. She sighed and brought her tiny fists to her eyes, holding them there until her ragged breath became even again. Leaning over to the nightstand, she flipped the light back on. I suppose she decided she had enough nightmares for the night.

And as the nightmares came to an end, the stirring emotions became more clear. I felt obligated to protect this Human. My thirst for her still blazed through me, but dissipated a little at the site of her tears. I have never felt compelled to protect anyone other than my family. And this urge felt so much stronger, the strength of this new found emotions frightened me. What could this mean? And how could any good come from it?

But I had to get to know this girl. Come Monday, I would get my answers. I would figure out what this power she has over me means. And I would find out who this Phil was. Who ever he is, I already wanted to smash his skull in.


	3. Chapter 3

Tainted Innocence

Chapter Two

Scary Stories

Bella Pov:

I calmed my ragged breaths as the visions slowly faded, back into the memories I lock away. I had a couple of hours before I stared off to school, I could get a few more hours of sleep, but it's not worth the nightmares. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them to me, when I feel like falling apart, this is the only way I feel I'm holding myself together. Literally.

After a few moments of rocking back and forth, I decided to get to the kitchen before Charlie had a chance. I slid off the bed and began my daily ritual.

By the time Charlie came into the kitchen, in full uniform, I had breakfast made and ready for him on the table. He looked at me wide eyed, as if he just stepped into a five star restaurant. I smiled slightly at him and pushed the big plate of pancakes in his direction.

"Have a seat Chief. You need a full stomach in order to protect Forks from..what ever it is that is dangerous in Forks." I sat across from him and sipped on the glass of water.

"Bells, you don't have to cook for me. I am a grown man and have been cooking for myself for years now." He glanced at the plate, and regardless of his statement, he dug in.

"Yes well, I like cooking. Besides, its the least I can do for you letting me live with you."

"Your my daughter Bells, I ain't gonna let ya sleep on the streets." He shifted in his chair, uncomfortable with the mushy talk. "Anyway, so how was your first day? Didn't really get to talk to you much at dinner."

"It was..Ok." I set the glass on the table, and watched the condensation slide down the brim. "Made a few friends, I guess."

"Well, thats good. People around here are pretty friendly, you shouldn't have any trouble fitting in." Conversation stopped after that. I didn't have the heart to tell Charlie his daughter wouldn't fit in anywhere.

----

School was just like yesterday. There were whispers and stares centered around 'the new girl', and I loathed it. Jessica followed me around like a lost puppy, and Mike. Well, Mike was still a little shaken up from yesterday. But I still wasn't use to this much attention.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the lunchroom with Jessica, was that one of the Cullens was missing. And not just any of the Cullens, Edward. Had I done something to offend him? Or was it just a coincidence that after he practically had an aneurism around me, he doesn't show up the next day. What was that guy's problem anyway?

I couldn't help but peek in their direction every so often. I was surprised to see the one named Alice flash a smile at me occasionally. I would smile back politely and then inwardly kick myself for getting caught. She probably thought I was a freak, but then again, I am.

I got through the day without an episode, and even though I was hit in the head with a volleyball in Gym, I made it out alive.

The first week of school flew by quickly. But everyday I would go in, thinking I would see the notorious Edward Cullen, only to find he was still a no show. Things were getting a little, strange. I wouldn't have thought so much about his mysterious disappearance if he hadn't of acted so weird the first day. A lot of people get sick and end up missing a week of school. It wouldn't be hard to do in Forks, with its constant cover of clouds and rain. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was up.

_Don't over think things Bella. Like your significant enough to cause someone to miss school._

It was Saturday and Charlie was expecting guests for a football game on T.V. He said I knew them from my childhood, but If I were being honest with him, I would of told him I can't remember much of my childhood. I can't remember much of anything beyond the past few years.

I was cooking dinner when Charlie ran to answer the door. Two men entered through the door way, the boy pushing the older man in a wheelchair. Billy, I would assume due to Charlie talking about him so much, greeted Charlie with a hug and a slap on the arm. They laughed like good old friends while Jacob rolled his eyes at his father.

"Hey Bells, come in here for a minute will ya?" Charlie called over his shoulder. I quickly entered the living room and smiled politely at the two men.

"Billy, you remember my daughter Bella right? Bella, this is Billy Black, and his son Jacob."

"Its a pleasure to meet you both." I said in a small voice. I bit my lip and continued. "Dinner should be ready any moment, I hope your hungry."

Jacob smiled at me with a wide bright smile and nodded. His russet brown skin, accented his shoulder length black hair and his chocolate brown eyes. He looked to be around my age, maybe a little younger. I gave him a weak smile back and fiddled with the hem of my sweater.

"Yeah, you sure have grown up quite a bit, there Bella." Billy chuckled and shook his hat off, erasing all traces of the rain pouring down outside. "And dinner sounds great, I hope you cook better than your dad."

Charlie sent him a glare and rolled his eyes. "Yeah she cooks way better than I do. She wont even let me touch the stove anymore."

"And for good reason. Your a police officer not a firefighter. I saw you put a can of soup in the microwave before." Billy's laughter filled the room as Charlie's cheeks tinted a shade of red.

I excused myself back into the kitchen while the men settled in.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" the sound of Jacob's voice startled me momentarily and I rose my eyes to meet his. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare ya there."

"No no, it's alright. And thank you, but no. Everything is ready, I just have to set the table."

"Oh, let me do that." Jacob stopped me gently by grabbing my wrist and taking the silverware from my hands.

I froze.

_Phil had me pinned down on the bed. Muffling my pleas for help with his enormous hand. _

_I pulled his hair, I kicked, I scratched, I screamed. Nothing._

_Phil slapped me hard across the face and grabbed my wrists tightly. He gathered them both up in one of his large hands and pined them above my head. He held them so tightly his fingers left bruises. _

_"The less you struggle the quicker it will be over." He breathed in my ear huskily. _

I yanked my wrist out of Jacob's grasp and backed into a wall. My breathing, ragged as if I had just run a mile without stopping. And poor Jacob stood there like a deer in headlights.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? Oh man, nice first impression Jake.." He dropped the silverware on the table and rand his fingers through his hair.

"N-No..I just..I have this thing..about touching..I don't really like being touched..is all. Sorry." I really hated always having to give that excuse. But my own Mother wouldn't believe me. Why on earth would I pour my heart out to a perfect stranger?

"Oh, Ok then. Got it, no touching. I can do that." he nodded and went back to setting the table. He made sure not to make a big deal about my spaz attack. And I was grateful. _I think I like this Jake. _

"So Bells, dinner ready?" Charlie appeared through the entryway with Billy. I nodded and led them to the table. Setting a big helping of lasagna in front of them.

Dinner went by smoothly. Charlie and Billy chatted up a storm about who they wanted to win in the big game tonight. Jacob even joined in a bit. I picked at my dinner with my fork, pushing food around my plate absentmindedly, until Billy broke my concentration.

"That was a great meal Bella! Thanks, I'm stuffed." I smiled in thanks and gathered the empty plates from the table while Charlie took him to the living room to watch the game.

Jacob approached me timidly, but with a wide smile. "Can I give you a hand? You wash I dry? No touching, don't worry." he crossed his heart with his finger and chuckled. I smiled and nodded, throwing him a dish towel and handing him the first of the clean dishes.

"Hey, um. Thanks. For not making such a big deal about my whole, touching issue."

"Sure, Sure." He said as I handed him another plate. I took that as 'Your Welcome'

"So, you liking Forks?" He started again. Obviously trying to strike a conversation, but I don't know why thats always the first question I get asked here.

"Its, Ok. Everyone has been pretty nice to me. 'Cept this one guy, I don't know what his problem is. He just glared at me throughout class, and then stopped showing up. But the rest of his family stayed at school." Why was I talking about this to a complete stranger? Oh well, I kind of needed to rant. "I guess they are all weird or something, because they are all adopted by some Dr. here in town."

"Ah, You must of met the Cullens."

"You know them?" I looked at him questioningly. My cheeks were red with embarrassment. _What if he was friends with them? Oh God, why do I have to be so socially awkward.._

"Just by reputation."

_Whew!_

"But-" He stopped, as if he weren't sure of something. But smiled and went on. "Hey, you like scary stories?"

I nodded and he held his hand out for the plate I was holding. I handed it to him and began washing the next.

"Well, my tribe, the Quileutes, were supposedly decedents from _wolves_." He looked at my disbelieving face and laughed. "I know, crazy right? Well, thats the legend of our tribe." He placed the freshly dried plate on the counter and turned to me, leaning into the sink's edge.

"Well the Cullens, were supposed to be from this 'enemy clan'. And my great grandfather, Ephraim Black, found them hunting on our lands. They claimed that they weren't a threat, and signed a treaty with my Great Grandfather. The treaty states that if they stay off of Quileutes lands, then we won't reveal what they really are." He stopped and smirked. "To the pale faces." He looked me up and down and chuckled. "No offense."

"None taken." I smiled at him and wiped my hands clean from the soapy suds of the sink. "So..what were they, really?"

Jacob put his best scary face on and exaggerated with his hands. "Vampires." My eyes widened and he laughed at me.

"Come on Bella, its just an old scary story our elders would tell us, to keep us out of the forest at night."

I nodded at him and smiled slightly. I couldn't pinpoint why, but something about that story, does not seem like it was just a childhood warning. And when that thought entered my mind, it all became very clear to me. _I have lost my mind._

----

The weekend was here and gone in the blink of an eye. I got, yet another early start this morning, due to a very unpleasant nightmare. I was growing more tired by the day, only managing to get a few hours of sleep a night. I was finding it hard to focus on things. I shook my head and got up for a hectic day of school. I had a Biology lab today, and with no lab partner, this should be 'fun'.

My morning was slow and uneventful. I nearly fell asleep in Spanish, all the foreign language was making my already foggy mind even more cloudy. So I was thankful when lunch came around, all the talking should wake me up.

When we entered the lunchroom, my eyes automatically searched for the missing Cullen. I was expecting an empty seat, where he once sat. But this time I was greeted with a pair of golden eyes probing my face. I blushed and quickly followed Jessica through the line. I grabbed an apple and a bottle of water and took my seat at the table. The group struck up a conversation over the game last weekend, the one I payed no attention to while Jacob told me a story about how I may very well be sitting next to a Vampire in Biology.

I shook my head and picked up my apple. _Don't think about him_. I started twisting the apple by the stem, naming off a letter in my head as I spun it. It was a harmless game my old friends in Phoenix taught me, what ever letter the stem came off on, was the first letter of the name of your true love. I nearly choked when the stem came off on 'E'. I glared at the apple and dropped it onto the tabletop scoffing at it. _Traitor.._

I sipped on my water and shifted in my chair. I felt eyes boring into the back of my head, so like I always did during lunch, I indulged myself into taking a peek at the Cullen's table.

Edward was staring straight at me, but he wasn't glaring. Instead, he gave me a little half smile, that made my heart flutter. My cheeks burned and I quickly returned my gaze to the table. Did he just smile at me? And did my heart just skip a beat at the sight of it? What is wrong with me? I must really be loosing my mind. Its all this lack of sleep or something.

I took two bites of the traitorous apple and gathered my things. I was getting pretty good at timing the bell now, that way I don't jump out of my skin every time I hear it. Sure enough, the bell rang. My table groaned and tossed their trays in the trash can, mumbling about how much they hate class. But for once, I was looking forward to Bio.

_----_

Edward Pov:

I was already in my seat when she entered the room. Her scent surrounded me as she took her seat. I took a big whiff of it, telling the monster in me that he better get use to it. I swallowed the venom that automatically filled my mouth, and scooted further away from her.

She resumed the same position as she had the last time I saw her, shoulders slumped, hair down over her face, the ultimate vision of passiveness. I cleared my throat, which caught her attention, and willed myself to speak.

"Hello, I apologize for not getting to properly introduce myself last week. I'm Edward Cullen." She stared at me intently. I could see her face clearly, she was suffering from the nightmares again, that I could tell easily from the circles under her eyes. Yet, for some reason, her eyes seemed brighter at that moment.

"I'm Bella." she replied in a small voice. "You were gone, for a long time. Are you alright?" She blinked a couple of times and then shook her head. "I'm sorry, its none of my business. Forgive me for prying."

"No, its alright. I, um. I was sick, so I had to stay out of school for a few days." That was a sufficient lie right? Humans get sick all the time.

She nodded and straightened in her seat slightly, folding her hands on top of the table.

I had to keep her talking, I had to sort out these stirring emotions that have come apparent to me last week. I tapped my thumb on the table nervously and smiled. "So, you like it here in Forks?"

She tried to stifle a laugh at something. I quirked an eyebrow at her and my smile widened. "What?"

"You have to be the hundredth person to ask me that same question." her smile faded and she looked to her hands clasped in front of her. "Its ok. I don't really like all the rain though. Everything here is too wet, but thats a given complaint from someone who comes from Arizona."

"So, if you don't like the climate here. What brought you to Forks, of all places?" She looked at me again and bit her lip.

"Well, um. My Mother got remarried and.."

"You don't like the guy?" I heard of this happening alot to teenagers. Mom remarries, kid hates new Step-Father, kid moves out. Typical teen angst.

A pained expression crossed her face. "No..I mean..Phil is..'Great'." _Phil..so Phil is her Step-Father.._

She released her lip from her teeth and continued. "Phil is a minor league baseball player, and he travels a lot. My mom use to stay with me while he traveled but I knew it made her unhappy so..I decided to come down here and stay with my Father." She ran through her explanation so quickly, it didn't seem convincing.

Mr Banner passed by our table, handing out pamphlets we were to fill out for our lab, and our supplies and walked off. I picked up one of the pamphlets to hand to Bella. But the moment I extended my hand in her direction, our hands grazed across each other. Her eyes widened and took the paper out of my hand. I quickly yanked mine back and pulled it under the table.

"Thanks.." I nodded in reply and silently cursed myself for being so careless. She had to of taken notice how cold my skin was. I could try and blame it on bad circulation, but she hadn't mentioned anything about it. So I wasn't about to bring it to her attention.

We finished the lab in silence. Each of us doing our part of the lab, and I went out of my way to ensure we didn't touch again. When the bell rang, I was out of my seat before she could even grab her things. I know I probably came off as rude, but I wasn't about to leave her any openings for questions.

----

The parking lot was nearly empty by the time I saw her emerge from the Gym room doors. Her steps were sluggish and her eyes were drooping. She looked horrible.

_"You better watch her, Edward. I just had a vision. Its fuzzy but I don't think she should be behind the wheel right now." _ I heard Alice's silent warning as she approached the Volvo.

My head snapped up when I heard the sound of Bella's truck starting up. She was already pulling out into the street when I saw another van speeding in her direction. Bella too disconnected from sleep deprivation to notice.

I didn't think. I just acted. I bolted across the parking lot, too fast for human eyes. I reached her truck and ripped the door off its hinges, the speeding van narrowing in. I ripped the seatbelt off of her and flung her into my arms. She looked up at me in shock, but I didn't have time to respond as I backed away from her truck, just before the van collided with the drivers side of her truck. I covered her with my body, shielding her tiny form from the broken glass that was now spewing in the air.

The driver had managed to swerve enough so that it was the back end of their van that collided with Bella's truck. But Bella would have surely been killed from the impact. I looked around me to make sure no one saw my movements. Luckily the only pairs of eyes I met were that of my family. But someone did see what happened. Someone did see how I was on one end of the parking lot and in the street the next. And she was curled up in my arms.

I looked down to Bella, surprised to find her clinging to my shirt and looking up at me bewildered. I quickly looked her over, inspecting to see if she obtained any injury. Luckily I got there before I had to scrape her off the road. She was so close to me I could smell her scent even clearer than before. Lavender and Freesia. I shook it off and helped her to her feet, steading her after she wobbled a couple of times. _What am I going to tell her? What is she going to tell others? _

My thought process was cut short when I heard the driver of the van rush to our side.

"Oh my God! Are you alright? I am so sorry, I was on the phone with my son and I couldn't stop in time and I-"

"Its alright." Bella interrupted her. "We're fine..lucky my uh, friend was in the truck with me." she looked up at me and bit her lip. "Thankfully he pulled me out in time." her voice was shaky and I was afraid she was going into shock.

"Regardless, I would feel better if I took her to the Hospital. Bella, come on, I'll drive you." She eyed me and nodded. "Her Father is the police chief, we'll call him and have him file a report for you."

I didn't wait for the woman to respond, instead I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and slowly led her to my car. Rosalie was glaring daggers at me when I reached for the passenger seat door.

"You mind calling Carlisle and telling him I'm on my way with Bella? Have Esme take you guys home." I lowered Bella into the car and gave Alice a knowing glance.

_"She won't tell anyone Edward. I'll call Carlisle and we'll head home. No one saw."_

I nodded at her and jumped into the drivers seat.

"We need to talk." was all Bella said as we pulled out of the school parking lot. Taking one final glance at her truck as we drove past it.

----

Bella Pov:

Gym had taken the last of my energy. We did a ton of drills and played dodgeball, which left me spent. After spending a whole period running and being pelted with plastic balls, I just wanted to crawl inside my truck and go home. I took my time dressing out of my uniform and made my way through the Gym room doors.

I was pretty much the last one out of the parking lot today, which was fine with me. Less traffic. But my eyes strayed the the other remaining car in the lot, a shiny silver Volvo. Edward Cullen leaned against the side of it and watched me as I made my way to my truck. _Of course the Volvo would belong to him. _

I pulled myself into the drivers seat and slumped back into it, leaning my head against the headrest. I could of fallen asleep right there if I hadn't thought better of it. I slipped the key in the ignition and pulled out, my head lulling forward slightly. _Keep it together Bella. You can make it until you get to the house. Then you can let the nightmares have you..._

The next thing I knew, my door was gone and Edward was ripping the seatbelt from the seat. He scooped me up into his arms and leapt from the truck onto the nearby concrete. He towered over me and held me to his chest. He was cold and hard as stone. And his scent was intoxicating. He smelt like Honey, Lilac and Sun. I caught myself inhaling him deeply and entangling my fingers into his shirt. Heat filled my face, but was soon replaced by horror. I was waiting for the visions to start, for the urge to flinch back and show him the freak I really was. But. Nothing.

The realization that he was touching me and I was completely fine with it, was interrupted by the sound of metal scraping together, and glass shattering. Edward held me closer and covered me with his body. It was then that I realized he saved my life. I looked up at him in amazement. Not only could I touch this guy, but he just saved my life. _But he was on the other side of the lot a second ago..He couldn't have reached me in time..unless.._

My eyes widened as he looked down at me. Could the story Jacob told me really be true? I mentally kicked myself for believing it for a second when he told me. But now..

_The speed it would take to reach me in time.._

_And the door..he..ripped it off.._

_No one is strong enough to do that..My truck is old but, well like Charlie told me "They just don't build em like that anymore."_

_Could Edward be..a..Vampire?_

Edward seemed to be looking me over thoroughly. Normally I would be as red as a tomato but I was in too much shock to conjure up the blood to fill my face. Once he was happy that he didn't find any bodily harm, he hulled me to my feet gently, never letting go of me until I could steady myself. My legs felt like jello underneath my weight. But I managed to balance myself.

"Oh my God! Are you alright? I am so sorry, I was on the phone with my son and I couldn't stop in time and I-" The woman came running from behind us. She had a few minor scratches on her face but other than that, she came out of the crash unscathed. For that I was thankful.

I could see the fear in Edward's eyes. He knows I noticed how fast he moved, and how he de-doored my truck. But why did he seem so afraid I would tell this woman about it? Its not my secret to tell. And to let him know I wasn't about to tell, I came up with the first lie I could think of. Hopefully the woman wasn't paying enough attention to know the truth.

"Its alright. We're fine..lucky my uh, friend was in the truck with me." I bit my lip, hoping she would buy it. "Thankfully he pulled me out in time." my voice cracked and I swayed a bit. _I need some sleep before I keel over._

"Regardless, I would feel better if I took her to the Hospital. Bella, come on, I'll drive you." His velvety voice was strained, he must still be worried I would tell. So I nodded, even though the thought of having to attend a Hospital was more than a little unsettling. "Her Father is the police chief, we'll call him and have him file a report for you." _Oh no, Charlie..he is going to FREAK._

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me in the direction of his Volvo. I finally found it in myself to blush. Instead of his touch frightening me, and sending me into a fit of agonizing memories, his touch calmed me. It was almost like some sort of electricity between us, one I didn't want to end.

I was almost too busy with my own thoughts when I heard him speak again.

"You mind calling Carlisle and telling him I'm on my way with Bella? Have Esme take you guys home." But I wasn't too caught up to notice the look Alice gave him. _Something is up. And I plan on finding out what the hell it is. _

"We need to talk." was all I said once he was inside the car. He didn't reply, instead he started up the Volvo and pulled out of the parking lot. I felt the knot in my stomach when we passed my truck. Or, what's left of it. _Charlie is going to kill me..._


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Yaw! Thank yo so much for all the reviews and faves you have been giving me! I know things seem to be going a bit fast, and I apologize for that. Its really hard for me to write Edward and Bella apart lol! I am working on slowing things down! THANK YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU! I will try to Update more often!

Twilight and characters (C) Stephanie Meyer

Tainted Innocence

Chapter Three

Hospital Hell

Bella Pov:

I bit my lip and let my head fall back on the headrest. Edward hasn't said a word since we entered his car. Now we were in the parking lot of the Hospital and he was looking at me intently. My hands lay shaking in my lap, intertwining with the hem if my shirt. I'm sure he thought I was loosing it. But really, my shaking was due to a few things.

One; Edward could very well be a vampire. And if not a vampire, then definitely not human.

Two; Even though I should be terrified of Edward, even though the very thought of the damage he could do to me, I wasn't afraid of him. I wanted to get to know him better, I wanted to know what and who he really was.

Three; I was able to touch him, and not be terrified by the flashbacks that usually flooded my mind when being touched by a man. His touch made me feel safe, secure, and calm. All things a vampire most likely shouldn't make you feel.

And finally, I was terrified of what Charlie would do. I had not spent much time with my Father. I know what Phil would do if he found out what happened to the Truck he bought me, not that Phil would ever buy me anything. I don't think Charlie would go to the extent Phil would, but I had no idea what my Father's anger could bring. And to make matters worse, I was about to enter a Hospital. I had visited the emergency room many times in my life, thanks to my accident prone curse. But I haven't been to one since the first time Phil assaulted me.

_Mom wasn't home yet, and Phil finally passed out on the couch. My cloths were still torn and my hair was matted from Phil's insistent yanking when I tried to pull away from his iron grasp. Everything hurt, I could still feel his grip on my wrists, and finger shaped bruises were starting to replace the red indentation of his hands. My eyes stung from the countless tears that were still pouring from them. And I felt unbelievably dirty. Only one place I knew could make the hurting stop. They knew me there by name now from my constant falling and ankle springing. They would help me..Someone had to help me.._

"Bella?" I could hear Edward's voice from a distance, but I was too lost in my memory to respond.

_I waited until Phil was asleep for a few hours, before I snuck out the back sliding door, and began walking to the local Hospital. It was dark, and the roads were abnormally clear tonight. I didn't bother to slip my shoes on, or replace my clothing. Even in Phoenix, I couldn't help but shiver when the night air met my exposed flesh. My shirt was missing some buttons in the front, and my shorts were torn and tattered. The slightly chilled pavement beneath my feet didn't help matters much._

"Bella, can you hear me? Bella?" Edward sounded closer, I tried to speak but words evaded me.

_The Hospital was colder. The air-conditioner was on full blast, and the cold marble floor brought little relief to my aching feet. Doctors and nurses passed by, none ever taking their eyes off their tasks at hand. All around me I could hear infants crying, Adults groaning in pain. Family members were comforting others, holding each other while the other cried. They were fearing for the health of their loved ones. I had no one to comfort me. My problems seemed so menial as I looked at the crying Mothers and Fathers. The sick and injured filling out forms of their past medical history. The Doctor's here could stop their pain, they could make their hurt go away. _

_'They can't help me here.' was my conclusion. I quickly turned and walked back out throughout the sliding doors, back into the cold night air. _

_I walked a little ways back to the house, knowing if I was caught out this time of night, Phil wouldn't be my only problem. So I made my way back to the house, creeping inside quietly, so not to wake Phil. When I entered my room, I looked at my bed in disgust. I could never lay in it again without remembering what occurred tonight. I could feel the sobs trying to escape, so I entered my closet and closed the door behind me. Then I let the sobs take me. _

_I slid to the floor of the closet and brought my knees to my chest, holding them to me tightly. I sobbed as the pain began to throb throughout my body. A pain that I couldn't dull. One even a Hospital couldn't fix. This is what I am now. I am unfixable. "I just want the pain to stop." I whispered quietly to no one. _

"What pain? What's hurting, Bella?" I could finally bring myself out of my delusion. Edward had the passenger door open and was crouched in front of me. Worry written clearly across his face.

"N-Nothing.. Nothing hurts." I wiped away the tears I didn't know were falling and shifted in my seat. "Do we really have to go in there? I mean, there are a lot of people who need help more. I'm not even hurt."

He furrowed his brow for a moment, then frustratingly unhinged my seatbelt and stepped back. "If your not hurt then why are you crying?"

"Over active emotions. Can I just go home now? Charlie will be angry as it is."

"He already knows about the Truck. I called him on the way here, you must of been so zoned out you didn't notice. He knows your at the Hospital and will be here shortly. Now stop arguing with me and get out of the car before I drag you in there myself." Edward shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

"You called Charlie? How did you know how to get ahold of him?" I slid out of the seat carefully, my legs still felt like jello beneath me.

"I called the police station and asked for Chief Swan. Really not that hard to get ahold of your Father." Edward pulled one of his hands out of his pockets and placed it lightly on my back. I could barely feel the pressure, but I knew it was there. I nearly froze when I was met with a pair of sliding doors, but Edward's presence calmed me, and I stepped through them, with him at my side.

Edward led me to the front desk, where a tall, skinny red headed woman met us with a smile. "Edward, nice to see you again. Come to see your Father?"

"Actually I came here with an emergency. My friend was just in an accident and I need my Father to take a look at her."

"Oh, my! Yes, right away Hun." The woman, who's name tag read Joyce, picked up the black phone to her side and dialed a number. I fidgeted with my fingers anxiously, I could still feel Edward's hand on my back, and it made my heart flutter. This new reaction to touch was strange, but I actually liked it.

"He is on his way down Edward. He said to take her to Emergency room 4B." Joyce hung the phone up and smiled at me sullenly. I knew that smile, that was a pity smile. I hated the pity smile.

Edward nodded and gently led me to the assigned room. He had me sit on the examining table as he took a seat in a chair across the room.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. The dull pain started to overtake me. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again. I fixed my gaze on Edward, he seemed to chase away the pain. But the lump in my throat grew larger when I saw the door to the room open. My breathing hitched and I clenched my fists tightly.

"You must be Isabella." A tall, handsome man with blonde hair and the same colored eyes as Edward walked in, holding a clipboard and a very large folder, which I assumed to be my medical history. He had the same complexion as Edward and the rest of his family. This had to be Dr. Cullen.

"Bella." I quietly corrected him.

"Bella." He repeated with a smile. "I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. What exactly happened?" He turned to Edward and pulled out a flashlight. He checked my eyes to see if they dilated properly and placed the small flashlight back into his long white coat pocket.

"I was in the Truck with Bella. Alice was going to follow us with the Volvo. Bella's truck was making some strange noises and was afraid something might be wrong with it." Edward trailed off and met my gaze. Carlisle nodded and turned back to me.

"Uh, yeah. I asked him to accompany me and he said if anything was wrong with my truck he would drive me home. I wasn't paying attention to the road like I should have, to notice the van speeding towards us. Luckily Edward was, and pulled me out of the truck before the van collided with the drivers side of my truck." I finally took my eyes off of Edward and let them settle to my feet dangling off the side of the table. "But I wasn't hurt. So I don't really know why I'm here."

"I see." I looked up to see a quiet exchange between Edward and his Father, and then back down to my feet when Carlisle turned back to me. "Well, it seems you were very lucky. I would still like to run some tests to be sure though. Are you experiencing any dizziness? Pain? Disorientation?"

"Dizziness..but I haven't been sleeping very well, so that's probably why." _And a pain that you could never fix.. _

"Not sleeping well." He scratched that down on his clipboard and set his things down next to me. "Edward, I would like to speak with you outside if you don't mind. Bella, the nurses are going to look you over, and I'll be right back to ensure your alright. Sound good?"

I nodded and watched as Carlisle led Edward out the door. I sighed and leaned against the wall, trying to clear my mind. Too much has happened today, too much for me to grasp. It was times like these that I wish I could sleep. I wish I could just close my eyes and let unconsciousness take me. Forget the past and the present, just sleep. No dreams, no memories, no pain, just..sleep.

The door opened again and I tensed as a young man walked in. He smiled at me and slid on a pair of latex gloves. "Hello Miss Swan. My name is Brian, I'm your nurse today. Dr. Cullen says he wants me to run some tests on you."

Just my luck. A _male _nurse. Why, God, why a _male _nurse!?

My breathing quickened, and he surely noticed. He was going to touch me, I knew he would. He would have to in order to run some tests. But how was I to know if I would get the reaction I got with Mike and Jake? Or would I get the reaction I did with Edward? Maybe my near death experience brought me out of my fears.

"Miss Swan, are you Ok? Maybe you should lay down.." He reached out and grabbed my side, pushing me towards the examining table gently.

I froze.

_Phil roughly pulled me through the hallway to my room. He waited till my Mother left for her night school classes she started taking a month ago. He grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me onto the ground. I would have tried to get away if I hadn't known he was much stronger and faster than me. Its worse when I try to run. He makes it last longer, and brings more pain._

_I could feel his hands sliding up my sides as I kicked and screamed. He dug his nails into my skin and dragged them down my sides. I screamed louder as the burning pain of ripping flesh pulsed through me. I could feel the warm, red liquid pour out of the small wounds, but worse of all I could smell it. The blood. It made my stomach churn. He repeated the action several times, enjoying the sounds of my screams. I could show my Mother the scratches, but she wouldn't believe me. She would say I inflicted it upon myself for attention like she did the bruises. I was permanently trapped in this prison. There was no escape._

_"Get off me!" I screamed as Phil dug his nails in further._

"Get off me!" I leapt off the examining table and backed against a wall. Sliding down it, I brought my knees to my chest and clung to them. Sobs began to escape my lips and my body shook.

The door swung open and a very worried, very agitated Edward bolted into the room, followed by his Father.

"What happened?" Edward's voice was calming and velvety. I could feel him crouch beside me.

"I-I have no clue. I-I barely touched her. I was just going to have her lay down because s-she was starting to have a panic attack." Brian stammered and looked to Carlisle in bewilderment.

"Brian, its alright. Leave this to me. You may go." Carlisle excused the man and shut the door behind him. "Is she alright Edward?"

"I don't know..Bella? Bella what happened?" I wanted the visions to go away. I wanted the safe feeling I had when Edward held me after the accident. I wanted a place where Phil couldn't have me. I wanted that dull pain to ease.

I don't know what came over me, but suddenly I found myself flinging my arms around Edward's neck and burring my face into his chest. I felt him stiffen under my embrace automatically. I instantly regretted my actions, but I was too shaken to let go.

A few moments later Edward relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. Rubbing his hand up and down my back in soothing ministrations. I could feel my heartbeat slow and my breathing return to normal. He was freezing. His skin was just as hard and cold as I remembered. I thought maybe I imagined it in the parking lot, but now I see I wasn't. But regardless of the chill from his skin, he calmed me. I found myself craving his cold embrace. I wanted him to hold me like this longer, but I knew I was making him uncomfortable.

"Shhh, your alright Bella. Its over now." His voice lulled me into a since of security. I sighed and pulled myself away.

"S-Sorry.." What else could I say? _Oh, I was raped by my step-father and now when men touch me I freak out with memories of the times he tortured me? But for some reason when you touch me I feel calm and I can never seem to get enough of your touch? _Oh yeah, that's an ice breaker.

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle's soft voice fill the room. I wiped my eyes and met his gaze. "Does this kind of thing happen a lot?"

I nodded. I didn't want to scare Edward away. What more could I tell him? He couldn't help me. No one could. _Except Edward.._

Carlisle nodded and handed me some tissues. I took them timidly and thanked him, wiping my eyes with the delicate paper cloth.

"What causes it?" Edward's voice was strained. I could hear the confusion in it.

The door swung open, banging against the wall, causing me to jump momentarily. Charlie entered the room, panic in his eyes. "Bells? Bells are you alright?"

"She is fine Charlie. She can go home, but please bring her back if she has any sort of disorientation. I am going to subscribe her some sleep medication, she complained of sleep deprivation earlier." Carlisle wrote out a prescription and handed it to Charlie.

"Dr. Cullen, thank you. You too Edward, you have my thanks for saving my daughter." my cheeks filed with embarrassment and I stood up slowly.

Edward nodded and helped me up. I thanked him quietly and shuffled my way to Charlie's side. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation on the way home.

----

Edward Pov:

Carlisle led me out into the hallway, leaving Bella in the room alone, awaiting her tests. I don't know what was with her in the car, but it worried me. She was acting strange ever since we arrived at the Hospital.

Carlisle began speaking in a voice low enough for only us to hear.

"So, she knows?"

"She has to know something is up. But I don't think she knows what. I couldn't just let her die Carlisle." No I couldn't. I was just going to use the excuse that if her blood was spilt all over the parking lot, that I wouldn't be able to control myself. But Carlisle would know better than that. He has always been in tuned with how I was feeling. Almost like he was my real Father.

"Hm, this makes things difficult. But I do not believe she will tell anyone. She obviously plans on keeping up the charade of you saving her from inside the truck." Carlisle crossed his arms and looked to the floor in thought.

"No, I don't think she will tell anyone. But I'm sure that this won't be the end of this. I have a feeling Bella is the stubborn type."

"It may not be the end of it. But I believe we can trust her. If it comes down to it, we can always pack up and move on. The question is, Edward. Can you control yourself around this girl?"

That was a tough question. Control myself as in, not indulging myself and drinking up every last drop of her glorious blood? Or control myself as in stay away from her? No, I don't know for sure if I could do either.

"Get off me!" My head snapped up at the sound of her panicked plea. I bolted through the door and searched for her with my eyes. When I saw her in the fetal position, shaking and crying on the floor my heart sank.

I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to take away her pain. So I crouched down beside her, hoping my closeness would be enough. "What happened?" _If he hurt her, so help me, I'll.._

"I-I have no clue. I-I barely touched her. I was just going to have her lay down because s-she was starting to have a panic attack." A panic attack? Whats to panic about? By the looks of her medical records, she has obviously been though tests before. Maybe this is why she was acting so strange in the car.

"Brian, its alright. Leave this to me. You may go." The guy practically ran out of the room. What frightened Bella so badly to put her in this state? "Is she alright Edward?"

"I don't know..Bella? Bella what happened?" I wanted to comfort her, hold her, pat her on the shoulder, anything but watch her sob in a fetal position. I felt so helpless at that moment. I tried to keep the strain and worry out of my voice, so I don't panic her even more.

Without warning, Bella flung her arms around my neck and buried her head into my chest. I could feel her warm tears soaking my shirt. Her warm body pressed against my cold skin. If it had not been for her sobbing and my need to comfort her, I would have enjoyed the embrace more willingly. Instead, I stiffened. The scent of her blood came crashing in on my senses. I could feel the blood rushing through her veins. I could hear her every erratic heartbeat. I could see her pulse throbbing in her exposed neck. All I had to do was lean in and sink my teeth in.

But strange enough, my animalistic urges were replaced with worry. Even though I could break this fragile little human, and drink to my hearts content, I had no will nor want to. I have spent my entire time around her trying to hold back the urges to take her life. Instead, I felt an even stronger urge to protect that life. So I let my instincts take over.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to my chest gently, and rubbed her back in calming motions. I let her sob into my, now soaked, shirt until she felt safe again.

"Shhh, your alright Bella. Its over now." what exactly I wasn't sure. But I knew, that from that moment on, I would never let anything harm her. Not even me. I would watch over her and keep her safe. Even from myself If need be. I took a deep breath, savoring her smell, and yet again, telling the demons within me to get use to it.

I heard her sigh heavily and pull away from me. I didn't let it show, but once she let go of me, she took apart of me with her.

"S-Sorry." She stuttered, wiping her eyes roughly.

I knew this emotion now. But its nothing I have ever felt before.

Not only do I wish to protect this little human.

I am forming feelings for her.

Not just any feelings, no.

I am forming love for her.

_I am starting to fall in love with Bella..._

This was all happening so fast. Could you fall in love this quickly? Was it really love I was feeling? I wasn't sure, but my heart was telling me 'yes'.

_"You did very well Edward." _Carlisle's silent voice commended me. _"Its amazing, the effect you have on her."_

"Bella?" Carlisle turned his attention to Bella "Does this kind of thing happen a lot?"

She nodded. _What does that mean? Does she have a problem with nurses?_

"What causes it?" I didn't want to seem so bold, and I didn't want to intrude into her life. But the words slipped from my lips before I could stop them. I wanted to know what caused her so much pain. And, to put it in Emmett's terms.. _I wanted to kick its ass._

The door flung open, banging against the wall. If I hadn't of heard Charlie's rushed footsteps I would of jumped along side Bella.

"Bells? Bells are you alright?" I could hear the fatherly concern seeping out of Charlie's voice. It was nice to know that someone cared for my Bella so much. _My Bella? No, I had no right to claim her. To covet her. _

"She is fine Charlie. She can go home, but please bring her back if she has any sort of disorientation. I am going to subscribe her some sleep medication, she complained of sleep deprivation earlier." Maybe now she will be able to sleep without those nightmares she must have been having. She looked like the walking dead, no pun intended.

"Dr. Cullen, thank you. You too Edward, you have my thanks for saving my daughter." Thanks? This man obviously didn't know how close I came to killing his daughter the first day I met her. The thought of it now sickened me. So I nodded and helped Bella to her feet. She felt so frail in my hands, I never noticed before. She better start taking better care of herself, I'll be sure of it myself if I have to.

She thanked me and made her way to Charlie. I watched as the two of them left the room, watching a part of me leave with her. I sighed and sank down into the chair I inhabited earlier. Carlisle seemed disturbed, I tried to hear his thoughts but they were so rambled it gave me a headache and I gave up.

"Stop thinking so hard, vampires can't take advil you know." I tried to lighten my mood, but it only made it darker. Knowing that Bella could never love a monster.

"I think I know what caused Bella to respond the way she did." That got my attention. I waved for him to continue and sat up in my seat.

"What was Brian thinking when you entered the room Edward?" Thats a good question. It was hard to think about anything other than helping Bella but..

"He just kept saying in his head 'I barely touched her.' Why? What significance would that hold?"

Carlisle's face went deeper in thought. I was getting frustrated. What does the nurse have to do with Bella's reaction?

"I don't know why. But something is telling me that Bella is suffering from Post Dramatic Stress Disorder." He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. "That would explain why, when Brian touched her, she went into an all out panic attack. It would also explain her lack of sleep. But what doesn't make since, is the fact that you can touch her and she is perfectly fine." A wide smile spread across his face. I knew that look, it meant he was interested in something.

"Edward, this could mean that you are an exception to that rule. That somehow you have a reverse effect on Bella."

"Wait a sec, how do we know that what she has is related to touch. Just because Brian was repeating that phrase in his head does not mean thats what is causing her..melt downs." I could see where Carlisle was going, but it would make no since that I would be an exception.

"It makes perfect since, Edward. She was fine when you were holding her, yet when Brian so much as touched her she ends up a sobbing heap on the floor." I flinched at the image of her in the fetal position again. "Just, keep an eye out for her at school. If this kind of thing happens again, maybe we can put the evidence together and come up with a conclusion."

"I'm not going to use her as some sort of science experiment Carlisle." I released a low growl through my clenched teeth. I have never been sharp with Carlisle, but the way he talked about using Bella struck a nerve.

"You know me better than that Edward. I only meant it in the means of helping her. If we know what triggers the reactions, we can come up with ways of helping her to overcome those obstacles."

I nodded. I knew what he meant, and I knew he didn't mean any harm by it. But Bella was beginning to get under my skin. And I had a feeling she wasn't leaving any time soon.

----

Bella Pov:

Charlie babbled on and on about how worried he was about me. He ensured me that he wasn't angry about the truck, that he was just glad I was safe and unharmed. This eased my anxiety a little. At least I won't have to worry about Charlie's anger as I did Phil's.

He ordered take out, making sure that I was to take it easy and not cook tonight. I sat on the couch with a slice of pizza and watched some random tv show Charlie had on. I was trying my best to pay attention to the one sided conversation he was attempting to have, but my mind kept going back through today's events. The incident in the parking lot, the fact that Edward can touch me, and also the fact that Edward may very well be a Quileute legend. Does that mean his whole family consists of vampires? Or did I really hit my head again.

"So what do you think, Bells?" I shook myself from my thoughts and back to reality.

"Think of what?"

"Of your Mother and Phil coming up for a visit in a couple of months." Suddenly I couldn't swallow, I couldn't breath. Panic started to take ahold of me, but I couldn't let Charlie see it.

"I uh- I just got here. Why come for a visit so soon?" Yes, why..Why would they want to see me already? I don't want to go back..I don't want _him_ here..

"I dunno. After I called your mom to tell her about the accident, she flipped out and decided she needed to check on you. She was gonna come up on the next flight to Seattle, but I talked her out of it." He gave me an apologetic smile and continued. "But I couldn't talk her out of coming to see you in a few months. Probably no time soon, her and Phil are still in Florida for his training."

I placed my plate on the coffee table, suddenly not feeling very hungry. So they were coming in a few months. To check on me. Why? Why would my mother suddenly care about my safety? She sure didn't seem to have a problem with her new husband raping me and scarring me emotionally and physically. But she finds out a car nearly kills her daughter and all of a sudden its super mom to the rescue. _Edward should of let the damn van squish me.._

"Dad, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to turn in early." I stood up quickly and grabbed the sleep medication on the table.

"Oh, Ok Bells. Sleep well."

I darted up the stairs and into the safety of my room. I could feel the dull pain returning. I needed relief from this constant nightmare. Picking up the bottle of water from my bedside table, I popped two sleeping pills into my mouth and took a big swig of water. Maybe this would bring on a dreamless sleep.

Plopping down on the bed, I covered my face with my pillow and willed myself into a deep sleep. But when I closed my eyes, he was there waiting for me. I could feel his skin on mine, and his breath coming ragged against my neck. I shivered and sprung from the bed, tears blurring my vision. _Why can't I have peace! Why can't he leave me be. He tortures me, and he isn't even here. _I looked to the clock on my bedside table and sighed heavily. It was 5:30 A.M yet again, and sleep medication couldn't even push him out of my mind. I needed sleep before I ended up going crazy with sleep deprivation.

I needed a place that didn't remind me of him. So I grabbed my pillow and old quilt and drug myself to my closet. I curled up on the floor and clung the quilt to me tightly. I sobbed myself to sleep, finally finding peace in the darkness of the closet, my refuge.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi Yaw! Thanks again for all the wonderful comments and faves! You guys have astounded me with all the positive comments!

Also, I would like to clear up that I know I said "Post Drimatic" when I meant "Post Traumatic" lol, little spelling error. But for some reason fanfiction wont save the corrections I make. so please bare with me lol! I LOVE YOU GUYS

Twilight and characters (C) Stephanie Meyer

Tainted Innocence

Chapter Four

Urges

Bella Pov:

I woke up to the blaring of the alarm clock by my bed. Even through the closet door it was annoyingly loud. I fumbled for the doorknob, and clumsily stumbled though the doorway. The blaring was really not helping my raging headache I woke up with this morning. So I ripped the clock's chord from the wall and fell back on my bed. _Note to self, don't take two sleeping pills at once..._

I looked out my window and sighed heavily. The clouds looked thick and grey, it was going to rain again today, or already has. I was getting really sick of the rain. Everything was too wet, and soggy. The air was too moist and thick. But no matter how much I hated this climate, I was beginning to like the company here in Forks. And that fact scared me.

With another heavy sigh, I dressed for school and made my way to the kitchen. Charlie had already left for work. I smiled to myself when I found a granola bar waiting for me on the table, followed by a sloppily written note. I picked it up and groaned inwardly.

_Mornin' Bells. Left a bike for you in the front yard. It's all I can give you to get to school with right now. Have a good day at school. Don't get hit by any cars today, Ok?_

_ -Charlie_

A bike? I haven't rode on a bike since I was freakin' ten. But I was grateful Charlie thought ahead so I wouldn't have to walk a mile to school. If I had to walk today, I would have been late to class. I tossed the granola bar in my backpack and threw it over my shoulder. It was pretty warm out, so I left my jacket in the entryway closet.

I was about halfway there when it started to pour down rain. I thought about turning back to get my jacket, but I was wet anyway, why waste my time? My hair clung to my face, and my thin, long-sleeved shirt to my body. By the time I reached the school parking lot I was shivering. _Should have grabbed the damn jacket..._

Students were still parking their cars when I pulled my bike into the bike rack. It was the only one there, so I didn't even bother chaining it down. If someone was stupid enough to steal something from the Police Chief's daughter, then more power to em'.

People where whispering and shooting me glances before I even got off the bike. Word travels fast about one's near death experience in Forks. I was just about to turn around and run to the nearest door when I felt something slide over my shoulders. My head snapped up to see a very annoyed Edward Cullen furrowing his brows and standing over me with an umbrella. It took me a couple of minutes to realize he had slid his jacked around me. I blushed deeply and reached to return it, but his cold hand stopped mine gently.

"You are soaked to the bone, keep it. You really should take better care of yourself." he spoke smoothly as his hand lingered on mine for a few moments. Until he pulled it away and took a step closer to me, to give me better cover with the umbrella.

"I-I walked off without mine today...But what about you?" I cursed myself silently for stuttering. Why did he have this effect on me? I sounded like a blubbering idiot.

"I don't need it. The cold does not bother me." He smiled sullenly and helped me slide my arms through his jacket, it smelt amazing. "Let me walk you to your class. This way we both stay dry."

My face filled with warmth and nodded, bitting my lip nervously. The whispers became louder the minute I began walking a long side Edward. But who could blame them? Who would have though the freak Bella would end up being seen walking with Edward freaking Cullen? Not me that's for sure.

"How are you feeling today? You don't seem like you got much sleep last night." I rose my gaze to his as he walked me through the doors. He closed his umbrella and furrowed his brow again. I was beginning to wonder if he would get worry lines if he kept that up.

"I'm fine. I didn't sleep much but, I never do." I wondered if it was possible for anymore blood to fill my face, but it managed to. Why was he worrying about me? Why did he care?

"The sleeping medication Carlisle gave you didn't work?"

"It made me sleep a few hours more than I usually do, but nothing life changing." I stopped and looked up at him apologetically. "N-Not that I'm not grateful for your Father's help. I am, honestly. I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did."

Edward gave me a puzzled look and shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. Nothing you said offended me in the least...I'm just sorry the medication didn't work."

I nodded and began walking with him again, this time with my head down.

We stopped outside my first class and I slid his jacket off, holding it out to him.

"Thank you, for letting me use your jacket. And for walking me to class...That was very considerate of you."

"Keep it, you are still soaked. I don't want you getting sick or something." I smiled and thanked him, sliding the jacket back on and clung it to me as I shivered.

"So, um, I was wondering. Would you like to sit with me at lunch today?" Edward smiled and leaned against the wall.

"Oh, uh, s-sure. That would be nice...I would like to thank you properly anyway, for saving my life." my eyes strayed over Edward's perfect face.

His smile faded into a small half smile and nodded. "You have nothing to thank me for." He shifted nervously as a group of students passed us.

"Yes I do, not only did you take the time out of your day to ensure my truck was running smoothly. But you pulled me out in time, before the van could crush me. I owe you more than a thank you." I made sure to speak loud enough that the curious ears could hear.

His smile returned full on, which made my heart skip a beat. "Then you will just have to eat lunch with me as a thank you." I nodded and smiled a wide goofy grin. "See you at lunch then Bella." Then he winked at me and strode off. He just freakin' _winked._

Lunch was going to be interesting.

----

Fourth period was going by too slowly. I did my best to keep up, but all I could focus on was the fact I was about to eat lunch with Edward. Well, not eat. I would be too self-conscious to eat around him. I would probably end up choking or something humiliating.

When no one was looking, I would inhale his jacket deeply. His sweet scent still clung to the leather. The long sleeves engulfed my arms, so I had to pull them up in order for me to write during class. Not that I got much done in class, Edward Cullen was effecting my grade. I have to get a hold of myself. _He probably just feels bad for me. Or maybe this is all a big joke, and he is amusing himself and others by giving me false hope...No...I can't see Edward being conniving like that..._

The bell rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. But before I could get out of my seat, a boy tripped over a lone book in the isle and stumbled towards me. I flinched back automatically as he fell hard on his face. He groaned in pain held his nose, blood seeping though his fingers. The smell of rust and salt hit my senses. I felt my stomach lurch in my throat, and I tried hard to swallow the bile that threatened to rise. The boy, I come to know as Adam, stood quickly and glared daggers my way.

"What the hell is wrong with you, freak? Why didn't you catch me or something! I think I broke my freakin' nose!" He advanced towards me, closing me in against a wall. "Hey, I'm talking to you freak!"

I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I knew what this boy could do to me, I have seen it many times at the hands of Phil. I knew I should have helped him, I knew I should have stopped him from falling. But I was filled with so much fear of the visions that would follow. But now I had more to fear than the visions. Adam seemed angry, and he was closing in. I had to find a way out of here.

I dodged around a desk and grabbed my bag on the way. I bolted out the classroom door, and into the nearest entrance I could find. I shut the door behind me and leaned against the wall. It was a utility closet, but it was still a closet none the less. I was already naturally afraid of men, but angry men, that was far more terrifying. I know I should have helped the guy, thats what any _normal _girl would have done. But I was so afraid he would touch me, and I would go into one of the visions I try so hard to forget.

I sat in the utility closet for a few more moments, before taking a deep breath and leaving my four walls of protection.

The cafeteria was booming with conversation. I shuffled through the doors and leaned into the far wall, scouting out my "lunch date". I spied Adam sitting at a large table full of other students. He was holding a small bag of ice to his nose, and giving me the look of death. But he wasn't the only one giving me 'the look', it was radiating off of his whole table. I swallowed hard and searched frantically for the disheveled batch of bronze hair.

I spotted him sitting alone at a table in the center of the cafeteria. He must have sensed my presence, because he looked up and waved me over. I closed my body into myself and dropped gaze to the floor as I passed by the 'table of death' and shyly took the seat Edward had pulled out for me. He smiled and sat across from me, folding his hands on the table top. I dropped my backpack to the floor and slid off his jacket, taking one last intake of air before it was removed.

"Thank you for loaning me your jacket. It was very kind of you." I muttered in a small voice and passed it over the table to him.

"No need for thanks, Bella. You were soaked, and I wasn't about to let you get sick." He gave me a half smile that made my heart pound in my chest. A smile that could hypnotize. "Besides, it suits you."

"O-Oh" My face filled with warmth, and I picked at the sleeves of my shirt. "Thank you." What more could I say? If I continued to talk, I would babble on and scare him off. He nodded and chuckled softly to himself.

"Hey, where's your lunch?" I bit my lip and shrugged.

"Not hungry today." He gave me a stern look and shook his head.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He stood up and walked towards the food court.

I sighed and laid my head on the table, resting my forehead on the cool wood. I could feel eyes on me, boring into my back. Part of me wished I stayed in the utility closet, but the other part told that part of me to shut up and enjoy Edward's company. I felt myself start to drift off when the chair across from me quietly scooted across the tiled floor. My head snapped up and was met with the concerned Edward again.

"Tired?" The crease in his forehead was starting to concern me. I didn't want to be held responsible for premature wrinkling.

"Just a little bit. I'll try to get more sleep tonight." I bit my lip and sunk back into my chair.

He nodded but the crease did not vanish. Instead he slid a tray of food across the table and placed it in front of me.

"Eat, it will help your exhaustion and I've noticed that you haven't been eating at lunch." He noticed that? Does that mean he was watching me?...Normally I would have found that irritating that someone was paying that much attention to my needs, but I couldn't find it in myself to hash any sort of anger towards Edward.

I was about to retort, saying something like, _"Well you don't eat either." _But he picked up an apple and bit into it. It was hard not to notice the slight grimace as he did so. He pushed a slice of pizza in my direction and nodded his head towards me, signaling he wanted me to eat. I sighed and took a bite, chewing slowly and carefully, so I wouldn't reenact the scenarios that ran through my head earlier.

"Oh!" I quickly grabbed my backpack and unzipped it. "Let me repay you for buying lunch." For the second time today, his cold hand reached out to stop me. I could feel the electricity run throughout my body at the smallest of touches. The chill of his skin calming my constantly raging nerves. I wanted to reach out and take his hand, I wanted to feel his chilled lips against mine, I wanted him to know me...And not just the facade, the real Bella Swan. I blushed brighter at that moment than I ever had.

"I bought it because I knew you wouldn't. Besides, when someone buys you lunch you are not supposed to pay them back. Just eat." I could feel his hand hesitate to pull away. He stroked my hand with his thumb momentarily and then pulled back.

Lunch was quiet for a while after that. I had no idea how to have a conversation with someone. I have talked to Edward more than I have anyone else I knew, at one time. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably and sighed heavily.

"Bella, I really don't want to sound forward, but..." He began ripping up a napkin that laid in front of him. "I have been rather worried about you ever since the accident. Would I be too nosey if I asked about your episodes? Why you have them and what they are about?" the crease deepened and I fidgeted with my sleeves again.

"I..." I leaned into the table so only Edward could hear me. "I...I'll tell you...But not here..." I bit my lip again for the hundredth time today and clasped my fingers together. "No one has ever cared to ask me about them before..."

"Bella if it is something you wish not to discuss with me I will not push the subject any further. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable."

"No, it's alright...But like I said...not here..." Could I really tell him? Would he treat me differently if he knew I was damaged beyond repair? _Would I disgust him...like Phil said I would every man?_

"You doing anything this weekend? I know a place where we can talk. Its one of my most favorite places in this town." I could see a trace of a smile on his face, and I knew my answer. _He would be repulsed by me...But I owe him my life...the least I could do was let him know he is dealing with tainted innocence..._

"I-I'm free."

His smile widened and he stood from the table. As soon as he did the bell rang and he held his jacket open for me to slip into.

"Care if I walk to class with you?"

I blushed and slid into the jacket once more and nodded. This felt more like something a couple would do, not two people who barely knew each other. _This will surely end as soon as he finds out...Even a vampire wouldn't want someone who was tarnished..._

----

Edward Pov:

I knew I was endangering the family by getting close to Bella, but I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I came to school today, prepared to tell Bella we couldn't be friends. I would be endangering her life, every moment I stayed close to her. I would be putting my family in jeopardy of having to pack up and move on again so early. And Rosalie would make my existence a living hell if that happened. I was perfectly prepared to let her go today, or at least thats what I told myself.

Until I saw her. Her hair was soaked, and her cloths clung to her frail body. As I watched her standing in the chilling rain, my plan to push her away diminished. I wanted to run over to her and engulf her in my arms. I wanted to warm her, even though my icy skin would do little to aid her. I wanted to protect her. I told myself it was because she seemed so fragile and innocent. But I knew the truth. There was much more to my feelings for her than simply protecting her.

Now I found myself sitting next to her in biology, fighting the urges hold her hand in mine, the way I had throughout the day. I felt foolish, but I felt more human than I ever had.

The knowledge that she would share the details over her episodes with me, letting me into her mind, filled me with anticipation for the weekend. But I was also afraid to be alone with her, fearing her scent would do me in. But something told me I couldn't hurt her, I don't think I had it in me to cause Bella harm.

"So I was thinking, maybe I should give you a ride home. It doesn't seem like the rain will ease up anytime soon. And I don't like the idea of you riding a bike in weather like this. You could get sick." I know I mentioned my dislike for her showing up at school soaking wet, and I knew I was coming off a bit headstrong. But I really couldn't bare the thought of Bella falling ill.

She looked up at me, a tint of pink shading her delicate cheeks, I fought back the urge to stroke it.

"You really don't have to do that, Edward. You have done enough for me today already." she bit her lip and stared towards the blackboard in the front of the room.

"Nonsense, its just common decency. Not to mention you are so accident prone, what ever danger _is _in Forks, you are sure to find it." I did my best to stifle a smile, afraid it would offend her.

But she surprised me and laughed. "Yeah, I do tend to attract anything that can cause bodily harm, huh?" _If only you knew, Bella...Just how much danger you DO attract...You are sitting next to a killer..._

"Yes, well all the more reason for me to drive you home today." I was sitting closer to her today than normal. My throat was scorching, but I wasn't about to let my animalistic instinct ruin this girl.

She thought about it for a while, and finally nodded. "I suppose that would be alright. Thank you for offering, Edward." a small smile graced her lips. I wanted to reach out and trace her bottom lip with my finger. I wanted to feel how soft they were. I shook my head and smiled in return.

"Like I said. Common decency." _And the fact that I am indulging myself in some extra time with you..._

"Well thank you, none the less." I just nodded and grabbed my books. The bell rang moments later, but I stayed behind with Bella this time. She looked at me puzzled, obviously she was waiting for me to bolt out of the room as I had so rudely done in the past.

"Shall I walk you to your next class?" I didn't wait for her to reply. Instead I picked up her backpack and swung it over one shoulder, and ushering her out the door gently with my free hand.

The light shade of pink filled her face again, causing me to chuckle silently to myself. _She's so cute when she blushes..._

I led her to her final class of the day, Gym. I had to stifle, yet another smile, at the thought of Bella in a class that required hand-eye coordination. The girl just tripped three times on the way to class. She was far from graceful, but that made me love her even more so. She was out of the ordinary, and fascinating. I craved her presence, even more than I did her blood. _And that's my saving grace._

She sighed exasperatingly, sending wave of freesia and lavender in my direction. I let the wave crash over me, engulfing me in her essence. I would win over my internal monster. I would overcome the killer.

"They should really make Gym illegal." she declared, glaring at the gym room door. I laughed and gently placed her bag over her shoulder.

"Yes, well try not to knock anyone out, or yourself alright?" She smiled and nodded.

"No promises, but i'll try."

I watched her depart through the heavy double doors, leaving me with an hour to prepare for a car ride with Bella Swan.

----

The bell rang, declaring the school day to be over. I pulled Alice to the side and explained my intentions to drive Bella home. She smiled, mockingly and crossed her arms in triumph.

"So, you finally going to let my vision happen?" I glared at her. Alice seemed to have it in her mind that I would make Bella one of us. But I couldn't take her life away...Not when she deserved so much more than an endless life of nothingness.

"No, Alice. You know I will not let that happen. So you might as well get that thought out of your head."

"No, _Edward." _she continued in, yet, another mocking tone. "You might as well accept that I have more intuition in my little pinky, than you do in your whole body. So just hurry up and get all mushy with Bella already! I want my friend!" she sounded like a three year old. I was actually waiting for her to stick her tongue out at me. I just rolled my eyes.

"Just make sure you wait till the parking lot clears out before you head home. No need for us to expose ourselves more than we already have."

"You mean more than _you _already have." I only glared at her in return, before turning in the other direction and walking out into the school parking lot.

----

I waited by the volvo, with the umbrella open. The flimsy water-proof cloth _protecting _me from the cold rain. Not that it would have effected me in the slightest, but I had it ready for when Bella emerged.

A small group of students were forming at one of the Gym exits. It seemed like an innocent gathering, but their thoughts gave away their true intentions.

_'That new girl is gonna get it for hurting Adam!'_

_'I can't believe that freak just let him fall like that!'_

_'We are gonna give her a reason to run away'_

_'Stupid Bitch is going to pay for this! Bet she broke my fucking nose!'_

Then I heard it, her quiet whimpering. Thats all it took for me to bolt across the parking lot and into the unsuspecting crowed. Bella was cowering against the brick wall of the school building, tears streaming down her face. She was terrified.

" I'll give you a reason to cry, bitch! School pictures are coming up and because of you I look like this!" The boy rose his arm up, preparing to lash out against Bella.

I quickly grabbed his arm roughly, tight enough to bring him to his knees. I lowered my face to his and held back the urge to snarl. One flick of my wrist and I could detach his arm from his body, the thought was tempting but I thought better of it.

"If you so much as touch this girl..." I said in a menacing growl. "No, scratch that. If you so much as come five feet near Bella...I will make sure you have more to worry about than a broken nose...Have I made myself clear?" I tightened my grip on his arm, causing him to wail out in pain.

"Y-Yes! Now let go, P-Please!" Pathetic human. If he ever did harm Bella, I was sure I would make him pay. I would make him beg for me to end his life so the pain would stop...

I glared at the attending onlookers. "That goes for the rest of you as well." They all nodded abruptly and dashed away before I could get my hands on them as well. I let go of the boy's arm, he held it to his chest and scampered off.

Bella's quiet whimpering broke my silent heart. I crouched down beside her and stroked her cheek affectionately. Instantly her arms wrapped around my neck and clung tightly against me. She didn't take me by surprise this time. Instead, I gently gathered her up in my arms and carried her to the volvo. I was about to place her in the passenger seat when her quiet plea reached me.

"Please...Don't let go yet...Just let me stay like this, only for a moment..." how could I deny her of that?

I nodded and sat us both in the front seat, pulling her closer to me. She buried her face into my chest and relaxed instantly in my arms. I began stroking her back soothingly, trying to lull her out of her episode. This one was not as bad as the recent one I witnessed. But the sight of her tears still tugged on my heart. I inhaled her deeply, enjoying her scent. But this time I caught a hint of something else. Strawberries? Yes, her hair smelt of strawberries. I smiled into her hair and pressed my cold lips to the top of her head absentmindedly.

She sighed contently at the contact, so I repeated the action several times, until her sobs became silent. Her gaze met mine. I hesitantly reached out and wiped the remaining tears from her reddened cheeks. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, leaning into my touch. Didn't the chill of my skin bother her? Could she tell by now that I was _different? _I felt the urge to touch my lips to hers again, and I knew I had to part from her.

"I'll go grab your bag, and we can be on our way." I lifted her off my lap and set her back into the passenger seat. She rubbed her eyes and nodded. I buckled her in and quickly grabbed her bag from the Gym entry and joined her in the volvo.

I handed her the bag and turned the heat on for her. It was relatively quiet as I pulled out of the parking lot, until she finally spoke.

"Thank you...for, you know...back there. And for also helping me though the visions..." She clung to her bag and sighed.

"If anyone does anything like that again, you come straight to me understand? I will not tolerate harassment." She nodded, and I debated weather or not to ask my next question. "What do you mean by visions? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

She looked out the window and leaned into the seat. "Thats why I go into an 'episode' as Dr. Cullen put it...I have memories of something that happened in my past before I came here to Forks...Its triggered when I am touched by men..." She trailed off and bit her lip once again.

"So you only have these 'visions' when touched by someone of the opposite sex?...Then why is it that I am able to touch you, and you are just fine?" The new bit of information got my head swarming with possibilities, and even more confusion.

"That, I don't understand...I wasn't always like this...I use to be normal but ever since..." I could see the pain in her eyes. I regretted ever bringing it up. I wanted to take the pain away, and beat the living crap out of what ever hurt her.

"You don't have to tell me right now. We still have the weekend, if you are still open to it."

"I am...I know I don't know you that well, or that long. But I trust you...and thats a lot coming from me." she smiled slightly, he teeth finally releasing her pouty lip.

I smiled in return and pulled in front of her house. "I know exactly what you mean..." we sat there motionless for a moment, both of us unsure of what to do now.

"Well, thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be there."

She smiled wider and stepped out of the car. "Oh!" She reached to remove the jacket I gave her, again for what seems to be the hundredth time today.

"No, keep it. I have others at home. And as I said. It suits you." I smirked and winked at her kiddingly. Her cheeks turned crimson and I chuckled to myself. "Goodnight Bella. Sleep well tonight."

"Goodnight Edward. Sweet dreams" I smiled grimly and watched her hurry into her house.

_If only I could sleep, Bella. I would certainly dream of you, and they would be the sweetest of dreams. _


	6. Chapter 6

First of all, I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE GUYS! GAH! I had some major writers block. AND I was reading so AMAZING stories and neglected my own story. I AM SORRY!

Thank you all for the wonderful comments and all of the faves. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Twilight (c) Stephanie Meyer

Tainted Innocence

Chapter Five

We still on?

Bella Pov:

I was exhausted, I didn't even bother to take off the jacket Edward had given me. But I did manage to kick off my shoes and curl up on the warm comforter, I replaced back on my bed this morning. Charlie was working late tonight, and wouldn't be home until nine. So I knew dinner would not have to be prepared until later. I let my eyes flutter closed.

Edward's scent surrounded me. His smell still clung to the leather of the jacket. It was so soothing, it felt like I was still in his arms. I inhaled deeply, and soon, I felt unconsciousness take me.

_I was standing in a forest, trees and foliage covering the dirt floor, to as far up as I could see. Darkness surrounded me, I couldn't see where I was heading. I felt like someone was watching me. A mix of fear and comfort washed over me. _

_My head whipped around to see two shadowy figures standing before me. I knew these figures. One brought fear, the other comfort. The tallest figure stepped forward, the moonlight shinning down on them. _

_My chest tightened, my breathing hitched, and my fear ignited. Phil was advancing towards me, the same look in his eye as always. I knew what was about to happen, but it was so dark, I didn't know where to run. I couldn't see anything but Phil's smirk. I was trapped. _

_"No, don't come any closer!" I backed up, but stumbled on a fallen limb, and fell to the ground. _

_Phil lowered himself, preparing to pounce on me like a wild animal. I couldn't think of anything, other than where I wanted to be at that very moment._

_"Edward, help! Please, don't let him take me!" I sobbed and whimpered. It wasn't until the other figure stepped forward, did I know why this figure brought calmness._

_"Bella...Bella its alright...I'm here..." Edward rushed to my side and scooped me up in his arms. _

_Phil vanished and the forest lit up, the darkness no longer surrounding me._

_"Edward...never leave me..." I felt his cold embrace engulf me. His icy lips grazed across my forehead. _

_"I'm here, it's alright now. I won't let any harm come to you Bella. I'll protect you." His words and touch brought more comfort than could be described. _

_He caressed my cheek tenderly, wiping away my fallen tears. I felt safe in his arms. I never wanted to leave this place, this sanctuary. Edward was my sanctuary. _

_I could smell him, I could feel him, I could hear him. Part of me knew this was a dream, but it all felt so real. If this really was a dream, I never wanted to wake from it. I never wanted to be without my Edward._

The sound of the downstairs door shutting brought me out of my little piece of heaven. I groaned inwardly and sat up. But my movements were restricted because my comforter was laying over me. I don't remember crawling under the covers...I must have done it sometime in my sleep. _This was the first time in a very long time I didn't want to wake from a dream...Edward Cullen...I think you are my angel. _

----

Edward Pov:

I parked the volvo in the front of my large house. The house was quiet, the others had gone off to hunt, leaving me alone to my thoughts. But my thoughts were too full to process. Bella consumed them, she consumed me. I wanted to be with her, even now. I hated watching her walk away from me when I dropped her off. _I'm getting in too deep...There can't be a good outcome by getting close to her...But she is like a drug, one I can never get enough of..._

I had to see her again, even if it was only in the shadows of the trees. I had to see her face. I felt very protective of her, I wanted to be sure she was fairing alright after today's episode. I tried to talk myself out of it, but it was no use. She had me wrapped around her little finger already.

I sped through the trees, enjoying the speed as I always do. The wind whipping through my hair was always exhilarating. But it all seemed less enjoyable ever since Bella entered my life. She made things seem menial.

It wasn't long until I was carefully crouched in the tree that over looks Bella's bedroom. She was laying on her bed, breathing steadily. I cursed the thin glass that kept me from her. Would it be so bad if I entered her room? Just to watch her sleep? _God I sound like some deranged stalker...But what could it hurt?_

Quietly, I slid the window open and crept inside. Her room was drenched in her scent, her sweet scent. Her shelves were filled with books, I smiled to myself. She must really like to read. Her backpack was laying out on the floor. A single rocking chair inhabited the corner. The room was dimly lit by the light from the window. I glanced around the room once more, before setting it upon the angel sleeping on the bed.

She looked so peaceful. Her pouty lips were parted slightly, and her hair was sprawled out over her pillow. She was still wearing the jacket I gave her, and I couldn't help but smile. I had wanted her to keep it from the moment I gave it to her today. I wanted her to have a piece of me, even if it was something as small as a jacket. I know it sounded silly, but knowing she was wearing it, made me feel as if I were protecting her even when I wasn't with her.

Bella began to stir, I panicked. What if she woke up and found me standing in the middle of her bedroom? She would want nothing to do with me.

"No...Don't come...any closer!" Her chest heaved and she began thrashing around. Was she having a nightmare?

I took a hesitant step forward.

She looked so much different than the peaceful Bella I found when I first entered her room. Now she was a sobbing mess, the sobbing mess I had seen earlier today. _Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mine was about to..._

"Edward..." I froze. Was she awake? Did she know I was here? "Help please...Don't let...him have me..." I couldn't stop myself. She was begging for me to help her. I quickly scooped her up in my arms and held her to my chest.

"Bella..." I hoped my voice wouldn't wake her, only calm her. "Bella its alright...I'm here."

Her sobbing instantly subsided. She buried her face into my chest, as she had earlier today, and clung to the fabric.

"Edward..." She murmured into my shirt. "Never...leave me..." _Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to..._

She wanted me with her. She wanted me to stay. A warmth I've never felt before filled me. I felt more whole at that moment than I ever had. I held her closer to me and kissed her forehead softly. The scent of her blood set my throat a blaze. But I swallowed the venom quickly, pushing everything aside other than my want to protect Bella.

"I'm here, its alright now. I won't let any harm come to you Bella. I'll protect you." And I meant it. I would protect her for the rest of my endless existence.

I stroked her cheek affectionately and rocked her gently. Her breathing returned to normal and her tears quickly dried. She was beginning to shiver, so I placed her under the covers and kissed her forehead once more. This time having less trouble with my murderous thoughts.

I didn't leave. I laid next to her sleeping form for a few hours, just listening to her steady heartbeat and her calm breaths. She was absolutely beautiful, her face was at peace once more. Her tiny fist still clung to my shirt. I stroked it softly with my thumb, feeling her pulse beneath my fingertips. Her soft lips were parted slightly, her warm breath washing over my face. I breathed in deeply, Its amazing how her scent could strike two different emotions at once. I wanted to protect that pulse that beat steadily beneath my fingertips, protect her heart. My euphoria dissolved quickly at the knowledge that I could never claim that heart. I had no right to it, nor would she ever willingly give it to a murderer, a killer, a monster.

I could hear her father's police cruiser down the road. I gently unhooked her fist from my shirt, kissing it softly before placing it on the bed beside her. I took one last look at her, drinking up the peaceful image before me, and leapt into the trees once again.

----

Bella Pov:

I sat at the table and pushed the cereal around in the bowl absentmindedly. My dream last night left me with nothing but open ended questions that flooded my mind. Why was Edward in my dream, and why was it him that I screamed for when Phil was advancing towards me? Was it because of the comfort he brought me yesterday? _Oh God...Yesterday... _

I had been so caught up in thinking about the dream this morning, I completely forgot about yesterday. Surely everyone in school already knew about crazy Bella Swan's meltdown in front of the gym. What was Adam going to do? Would everyone treat me like I had the plague? Would that really bother me? It would be alot easier if people would just leave me alone anyhow. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get close to anyone. But wasn't that what I was doing with Edward?

_No...We are not friends. He only took pity on me yesterday. But even though it was pity, I would take it. I would take what ever it is that Edward was willing to give. _And thats when I realized just how pathetic I truly was.

I slipped on the jacket Edward gave me and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I was just about to grab the doorknob when a soft knock came from the other side. I swallowed hard and opened the door, only to find the definition of perfection on my doorstep.

"Hey, I remembered I forgot to bring your bike home yesterday. So I came by to give you a lift to school." Edward's crooked grin made my knees weak, but I tried to push that aside.

"You really didn't have to do that for me Edward. You have done enough."

"Don't be absurd, I want to drive you to school." He pulled my backpack off my shoulder and slid it onto his, extending his hand out to me.

I took it hesitantly and he led me to the passenger side of his car. I watched as he gracefully made his way to the other side and slipped into his seat. The engine purred when it came to life, and he pulled out slowly.

"I'll pick you up everyday I can, until you get a new vehicle. I don't like the idea of you walking to school when you are as accident prone as you are." He chuckled to himself and gave me a sideways glance, his smirk deepening.

"Really Edward, I don't know when I'll be able to obtain a new vehicle. I may be out of one until the summer for all I know."

"Well then, I'll just have to pick you up everyday from here on out, now won't I?" He looked over at me again and smiled. "You really do look good in that jacket. I'm glad you decided to wear it."

I blushed deeply and thanked him quietly. He waved me off and laughed to himself again.

----

I entered the lunch room, clutching by books to my chest tightly. I left my backpack in my locker. It was the first time I even went to my locker. There were too many people gathered around it, but today the halls were barren around my locker, so I took a chance. It was very tiring carrying all of your books around with you all day long. I wasn't sure if the mob of people would be gathered around it before I had to leave, but I didn't really care anymore. People around here already thought I was a looney.

Mike Newton and his group of friends looked up at me when I entered the lunchroom. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously when all I received from the table was a glare. Five pairs of eyes bore holes into me with the fierceness of their stare. All but the one called Angela. She looked around the table and gave me a sympathetic look. That was worse than the glares. I rather someone slap me then to feel sorry for me. I wasn't a charity case and I wasn't about to be treated like one. Why can't they just treat me like I was invisible. I rather be invisible. I rather just disappear.

"Swan, you can't sit with us anymore." Jessica put her books on the empty chair beside her.

"Yeah, we heard what you did to Adam. We prefer not to associate ourselves with people like you. It would be social suicide." Lauren flipped her hair over her shoulder. She was staring at another table, making sure not to make eye contact with someone who was, said "Social Suicide"

"Its just not good for our rep, Bella. Sorry." Mike shifted in his seat. I could tell he was trying to be nice about this, but it didn't make this any less of a slap in the face. But thats what I wanted, wasn't it? I rather be ignored. This was for the best. No attachments. No pain. No rejection.

Angela looked around the table, obviously fighting with herself. I could tell she wanted to speak out against her friends, but something kept her from doing so. So I helped her out.

"I wouldn't want you to hurt your reputation." My voice was barely audible, but I was sure they could hear me.

"Or there lack of one. My God, you people have your head's so far up your asses you can't see that people really don't care about you." The short spiky haired girl bounced beside me. I think her name was Alice, Edward's sister. "I actually think Bella hanging out with you, would not only be social suicide for _her. _But it would also cause her sever brain damage having to listen to your pathetic excuse for conversation. I think I just killed a few brain cells actually wasting my breath on you."

Alice rolled her eyes and linked her arm into mine, smiling brightly at me. "Come on Bella! Edward and I are waiting for you at our table!"

I didn't have time to respond, instead Alice nearly dragged me across the lunchroom to an empty table, leaving five very stunned pairs of eyes behind us. She took the books from my arms and placed them to the side. She then took a seat beside me and held out her hand, which I took hesitantly.

"Sorry about that Bella. I wish I could have introduced myself in a kinder way. My name is Alice Cullen! Its a pleasure to finally meet the girl who is stealing my brother's hear-"

"Alice!" Edward towered over me, holding a tray that he placed on the table in front of me.

"Hey, Edward! I was just saying hello to Bella!" She smiled at me and squeezed my hand gently. I noticed her hand was just as cold as Edward's had been. Normally I would recoil away from the cold. But lately I found myself embracing it. "We are going to be great friends."

She wanted to be my friend? But I have only just met her. She doesn't know me, or what she is getting into. But oddly enough, I really was looking forward to being friends with this girl. She seemed nice enough, and she just spoke up for me. So I smiled timidly and nodded. I think I like this Alice.

"Thank you for speaking up for me by the way. You really didn't have to do that."

"Pssh, That? That was nothing to thank me for Bella. Anyone with common decency would have done the same thing. Sadly this school is lacking a lot of that." She sighed and rolled her eyes, her smile never leaving her face.

Edward sat across from me and smiled warmly. I couldn't help but return it, every time he flashed that heart stopping smirk, I would smile back in the most goofy grin. I swear he could dazzle a room with that look. Why was he wasting time with me again?

He reached across the table and pushed the tray to me. I eyed him questioningly, he just pushed the tray closer. I picked up a small packet of carrots, but he snatched them from my hands and replaced them with a turkey sandwich.

"You need to eat more than carrots Bella. You need protein to keep you strong." He winked at me and threw the carrots to Alice.

"I don't want the strange little orange sticks! You eat em'. I already ate." She huffed but I could see a smile playing at the corners of her lips. Edward didn't share the sentiment. He eyed the packet of carrots with disgust and tossed them back on the tray.

"I don't like carrots."

I tried but failed to swallow the giggles that erupted from me. I was afraid I would offend them, but instead of the glares I was prepared for. They both joined in.

"You must have had a bad experience with carrots to have _that _kind of reaction to them." I smiled but tried to cover it with a bite from the sandwich.

"He just doesn't like them because we call him carrot top every once in a while." Alice's whimsical laugh filled the table. I was in awe at how her voice and laugh could be as beautiful as she was.

"Call me that again, and you can kiss the Porsche goodbye. I don't _have _to get it for you for christmas Alice."

"Okay, Okay. Don't be so touchy Eddie-Puss!"

I snorted.

"Thats it, no Porsche."

Alice's head popped up quickly. "I'm sorry! Habit...Please will you still get me my car Edward?" She batted her eyes and pouted her lip. "You know you love your darling sister..."

"I'll think about it." Edward glared at her but then set his eyes on me and his expression warmed. "Its almost worth being called Eddie-Puss, just to hear you laugh. I like it when you laugh."

My face probably matched his hair now.

"Hey, its snowing!" Alice said excitedly, saving me from further embarrassment. "Isn't it pretty, Bella!"

I looked out the window and watched the elegant white flakes dance to the ground. I had never seen snow before, but it instantly reminded me of a song I would listen to while locked up in my closet while Phil was asleep.

_I'll never be a snowflake_

_And waltz to earth so gently_

_To form a perfect blanket_

_For someone else to walk on_

_I close my eyes to feel the cold_

_On the palm of my blue hand_

_But the breeze it blows straight through my hair_

_And buries in the sand_

"I've lost my mind in wanderlust

My heart cannot be found

My body yearns for the warmth of snow

But the sun keeps pouring down

These streets have signs that point somewhere

But there I don't belong

And there's no more use

To curl your hair

When your innocence is gone." I hadn't even realized I said the words out loud. I was too caught up in the memory of the melody lulling me to sleep, and the beautiful white flakes falling to the ground.

When I looked away from the window, Edward was staring at me. Sadness evident on his face. Alice was a little more discrete. She furrowed her brow at me and turned her head away. I blushed and looked back to the window.

"What's that from?" Alice took a sip of her water and screwed the cap back on quickly.

"Its a song from Katy Rose. Its called Snowflakes. I guess the snow just kind of reminded me of it." And the fact that the song spoke more to me than just snowflakes. "I have never seen snow before. So yes, it is very pretty Alice."

Lunch was quiet after that. Edward promised to give me a ride home. Other than that, silence. I always make things awkward.

----

The walk to Biology was quiet, but I could feel Edward's eyes on me. I tried hard to ignore it, but I could feel the electricity between us. I wonder what this electricity was. And why did I only feel it when I was around Edward? It was worse when he was touching me. But it wasn't a bad feeling, it was quite calming actually. It just, felt right. Edward just felt right.

"So are we still on for the weekend?" He finally broke the silence when we reached our table. "If you want to back out, I understand."

"No, we are still on. Where is this special place anyway?"

"Now if I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" He smiled an ultra white smile and turned to the head of the class.

I mumbled something about not liking surprises under my breath, but turned my attention to the class once the teacher entered the room.

----

The week passed by quickly, too quickly. Everyday Edward would pick me up and take me to school. Everyday he would sit with me at lunch, along with Alice. Everyday Edward would talk with me like I was a normal human being in Biology. And everyday Edward would drive me home from school. Everyday it was harder and harder to step out of his Volvo. I was becoming too attached to him and his sister.

Nights started to drag on, and I found myself willing the clock to speed up so I could see Edward the next morning. Getting attached to Edward was a bad idea. Soon he would figure out I was only a waste of time, and he would push me to the wayside. Soon enough he would hurt me some way. Weather it be physically or emotionally, it was bound to happen. This weekend would be the end of all normalcy I had been experiencing with Edward. He would see I was tarnished. If I accepted it now, it would hurt less later.

So thats what I was doing. It was 12:30 at night, and I was preparing to say goodbye to Edward. The morning was nearing in, and I only had a few hours to prepare myself for heartache. I could be detached from myself, I have done it many times. Thats how I got though Phil's 'sessions'. I could do this. I would do this. Or Edward would do it for me.

I was also thinking back to the afternoon today. Angela Webber came up to me today during lunch and invited me to see a movie with her and her boyfriend Ben this week. There was a half day coming up this Tuesday, and she wanted to show me around Port Angeles. I was hesitant at first but Alice encouraged me to go through with it. She thought that Angela was a good person, just hangs with the wrong crowd. So I reluctantly agreed to join her and Ben. They would pick me up from my house shortly after we were dismissed from school. Charlie was thrilled that I was getting out. He didn't exactly know I was hanging out with Edward Saturday, and I wasn't about to tell him. Just call me a rebel.

I looked back over to the, new, wall clock in my room. The damned alarm clock had a little 'accident' with a hammer a few days ago. I don't really sleep much anyway, I didn't need an annoying buzzing clock to tell me when its time to get up. Especially when I was awake before the clock was. Another thing I forgot to mention to Charlie.

_TickTickTick_

I could hear Charlie preparing for an eventful day of fishing with Harry Clearwater. It was 5 A.M. One hour to go.

_TickTickTick_

I was already dressed for the day. I was laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling. Tracing invisible patterns with my eyes.

_TickTickTick_

The police cruiser started up and quietly drove away from the house. I was alone.

_TickTickTick_

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Time was closing in. In less than 30 minutes I would be face to face with Edward. But I would be preparing to tell him goodbye.

_TickTickTick_

My chest hurt. I didn't want to tell him we couldn't be friends. But it was either he told me, or I told him.

_TickTickTick_

I didn't have to tell him goodbye though. Not if I didn't tell him about Phil. Then he wouldn't know I was damaged.

_TickTickTick_

Yeah, thats it. I would tell him as little as possible. Call me a selfish creature, but I couldn't let him go. Maybe someday I could tell him. But right now, I couldn't let him go. I was too weak.

_TickTickKnock-Knock_

My eyes widened and I glanced at the clock. 6:00. Edward was at my front door. And I was more conflicted than I was five minutes ago.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi yaw! First off, Thanks to all of my wonderful readers! Thanks soooo much for all of the fantastic comments you have all been leaving me. I LOVE YOU GUYS!! You seriously don't know how your comments encourage me to keep this story moving!**

**Ok So yeah, In this chapter I kinda pulled some lines from the movie. BUT I tried to make it a little different, ya know? **

**The Song in this story (which is also the insperation for this chapter) Is by Lesley Roy and its called Crushed. Go listen to it if ya can! Here is the link to it..you will have to copy and past it but I HELPED =D**

.com/watch?v=q5zsKZJNo-g == Song =D

**Also, I wanna recommend a very awesome story that I have been reading, and I think you would all enjoy it! Its called "Face Down" by SimplyDazzling. She is super sweet and Please all yaw go read her awseome story! Leave her a comment!! Here is the link to Chapter one!...gonna need to copy and paste..SORRY GAH!**

.net/s/4983508/1/Face_Down == Linkah! XD

**OK UPDATE DONE! SORRY!! I'LL SHUT UP NOW! ENJOY CHAPTER SIX! =D**

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Six

The Meadow

Bella Pov:

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. My heart felt like it was literally pounding out of my chest. It was a wonder that Edward couldn't hear it. My throat was dry and my hands were shaking on the doorknob. Edward stood in front of me with his crooked smile. His alabaster skin stood out against the black shirt and dark jeans he wore. His eyes a brilliant golden brown, shone brightly in the dim light illuminating from the living room behind me. I swallowed hard and tried to steady my breathing, internally kicking myself for acting like a love sick pre teen in front of him.

"Ready? Make sure you grab your jacket, it may get cold."

I couldn't find my voice. Could I really go through with this? I knew I trusted Edward not to hurt me physically, but emotionally I knew I was already in too deep. I was afraid. I was afraid he would reject me as soon as he found out the real Bella. But could I really push him away? Would my heart handle it? _You barely know him Bella, of course you can handle it. You have to. Let him go before he hurts you. Don't trust anyone remember? No attachments._

I nodded and grabbed Edward's..._My _jacket and draped it across my arm. Edward placed his hand on my lower back gently, leading me to his Volvo. He held the door open for me as I slid into the passenger seat. I took a deep breath as he joined me in the car and clasped my hands in my lap. I was really going to do this. I was saying goodbye to Edward Cullen. I chewed on my bottom lip as we pulled out of the vacant driveway and headed down the road. I finally found my voice. I may be saying goodbye, but I could enjoy the last few moments with him, couldn't I?

"So are you going to tell me where we are going now?"

"I'm taking you to my favorite part in the woods, just outside of Forks. Its a bit of a walk but it's worth it. Its quiet and peaceful, a perfect place to spend the morning." He smiled, never taking his gaze off of the road.

"So we are hiking? Uh, if you haven't noticed Edward, I'm a bit of a klutz." Great, the last time I will be on speaking terms with Edward and I'm going to make a fool of myself.

"You'll be fine." He chuckled and glanced towards me. "I won't let any harm come to you Bella."

I inhaled sharply. My mind wandering back to the dream I had a few nights ago.

_"I'm here, it's alright now. I won't let any harm come to you Bella. I'll protect you."_

Edward rose his eyebrow in question, but I shook my head.

"I know you wont..." I bit my lip harder this time, trying to push away the stirring feelings that rose in my chest when he said those words. I knew I wanted him to mean those words differently than he could give me. He could never give me what I wanted. He could never, nor would he ever give me his heart. I was not worthy of someone so perfect. He deserved better.

The rest of the ride was relatively quiet. The whole way there I was fighting with myself. I have never felt so conflicted. Part of me knew it was stupid to even have feelings for someone I barely knew. But another part of me was reveling in the fact that I could have feelings other than fear from a man. But what good could come of it? Surely someone as perfect and wonderful as Edward wouldn't want anything to do with someone like me. I was just a charity case, and I would rather be ignored and be invisible than be someone's charity case. I may be pathetic but I'm not _that _pathetic.

Why did I even have these feelings to begin with? Why was I attracted to this man? Well, other than the fact that he was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. And the fact that he has shown me more care and kindness in the short time I've known him than I have in my whole life. Then there was the fact that he looked at me like a human and not some crazy girl. But he doesn't know who I really am. He can never know. I can't let him in. _No attachments...Remember...No...Attachments..._

Edward pulled the Volvo off the road and parked. He turned to me and smiled warmly. _How can I keep telling myself no attachments when he smiles at me like that?_

"Ready?" I nodded and clung the jacket to my chest.

Edward got out and quickly made it to my door before I could open it and helped me out of the car. He grabbed the jacket I clung to and held it open for me to slip into. I blushed deeply and slid my arms through. He was being so gentlemen like, this almost felt like a date. But I knew better.

He gently took my hand in his and turned to me.

"You trust me right? You know I won't let you get hurt?" Did I trust him? Yes, apart of me did. I knew he wouldn't let me get hurt physically, but emotionally... He sensed my hesitation and dropped my hand to my side, his warm smile faded into a frown.

I shook my head, what was wrong with me? He was trying to be nice and all I could do was upset him. I quickly laced my fingers through his and looked up to meet his questioning gaze.

"Of course I trust you. I'm sorry, I'm just...spacey today." I gave him a reassuring smile, ignoring the electricity pulsing through the hand that was linked to his.

His smile returned and he began to lead me through the dense forest, gently squeezing my hand. I stumbled and tripped several times walking the path Edward led me through. But he kept good on his word. Every time I felt myself falling, he was there to catch me. Every time we came across a large stump I knew I would trip over, he gently lifted me up and over it. Every time I felt embarrassed by my clumsiness, he assured me its nothing to me embarrassed about. He was really making it hard not to fall for him. He was really making it hard to say goodbye.

It took awhile, but eventually I could see the path leading to an opening. Edward placed his hand on my lower back and waved his arm in front of me. I looked at him and stepped through the clearing, my breath caught in my chest. It was beautiful. It was a meadow, a lush green meadow filled with purple, yellow, and white flowers. The sun was shinning in the middle of the clearing, showing the true beauty of the meadow. I couldn't hold back the smile that broke out across my face once I reached the heart of the meadow. The sun beating down on my face. I breathed in and sighed, the warmth reminded me of Pheonix, a better time in Pheonix. A time where my Mother and I played in the front yard of our house. A time when she could embrace me and not see a 'home-wrecker'.

I looked back to Edward, to see him remaining in the shadows of the trees. I reached my hand out to him, but he just looked at it and shook his head.

"I can't Bella. I'm not good with the sun. Just enjoy yourself." He smiled sadly and took a seat on a large rock near the trees. I furrowed my brows but walked over to where he was and sat at his feet. I jumped a bit when I felt his fingers in my hair. I blushed deeply when he began stroking my hair.

"Your hair has red highlights when your in the sun. Its very beautiful." Beautiful? Did Edward just call me beautiful? No, he called my hair beautiful. He must be blind.

"Thank you." I whispered. My eyes fluttered close as he continued to run his fingers through my locks. It was such a soothing motion, but it was almost intimate. I leaned into his legs that were slung over the rock he was sitting on. He didn't pull away and he didn't stop his strokes. Yes, this definitely felt intimate.

"Your welcome." I could hear the smile in his voice, but couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. I wish I could stay in this moment forever. Just Edward and I, alone, no problems, no past, just now. Just my head resting against his legs as he stroked my hair gently. I could die now and have no regrets. Why did it have to end...

----

Edward Pov:

I don't know what came over me, but once she stepped into the sunlight, and I saw her chestnut strands glisten to a red, I needed to run my fingers through her hair. I had always had that urge when around her, but now, to see her face so calm and serene in the sun, the urge was almost overwhelming. So when she came and sat at my feet, I couldn't stop my hand from shooting out and feeling the silky strands beneath my fingers. It was just as soft as I remembered. She smelt of strawberries, and I couldn't stop my smile from breaking out when she didn't recoil from my touch. I knew today would be hard on her. She promised to explain her episodes with me. I wouldn't push her, I would let her go at her own pace. She seemed off today, but I figured it was just because she was nervous.

"It's really beautiful here." she murmured softly.

"I'm glad you like it. Its always a nice place to come to calm your mind, and just enjoy nature." _Not as beautiful as you..._

I wanted her to be as calm as possible with me. I knew this place would do the job. But being alone with her was almost too much. Not because of my animalistic urge to drink every last drop of her sweet life force, but because of the more humanly urge to press my lips to hers. No, I couldn't loose control either way. I would protect her, nothing more. She could give me nothing more, nor could I take it from her. She deserved better.

"Yeah, its very peaceful here." She sighed heavily an turned her head so she could look at me. I smiled warmly at her, never relenting on calming her with my hands. This is what calmed her when she had her nightmare, and all I wanted to do was make her feel safe. Even with a vampire.

"Can I ask you a personal question Bella?" I thought I would get her started, I knew she was too nervous to.

She swallowed hard and lowered her eyes to my feet. "Yeah."

"Why do you murmur Phil's name when your having an episode?" Her shoulders instantly tensed when his name slipped my lips. "Phil's your stepfather right?" I gently removed my hand from her hair and rubbed the tension out of her shoulders.

"Yeah, P-Phil's my stepdad..." She bit her lip so hard I was afraid she would draw blood. Bad idea.

"Are you afraid of Phil?"

She nodded.

"Bella, has Phil hurt you in any way?" I tried to keep my voice void of emotion. But the anger was evident when I spoke his name.

"Yes..." she whispered.

I ground my teeth together and tried to stifle a growl. How could anyone cause such an angel harm? She didn't deserve to be hurt in any way. I don't know what this Phil did to her, but I swore from there on out, he would never lay a hand on her. I wanted to hunt him down and rip him limb from limb. Heaven help him if I ever got my hands on him.

"Bella." I tried to steady my unnecessary breath. "What did Phil do to you?"

That did her in. Bella began to shake. Her eyes glazed over and her breathing spiked. I instantly regretted my question when tears began pouring from her chocolate eyes. Small whimpers escaped her lips, and it broke me. I scooped her up in my arms and held her to my chest, rocking her soothingly.

"Shhh, it's alright Bella. You don't have to tell me right now." I rested my cheek on top of her head and rubbed her back. Her whimpers did not subside and her shaking increased. She seemed so far away, yet I held her in my arms. It was as if she were in a trance. I held her closer and shushed her once more.

"I'm here, it's alright now. I won't let any harm come to you Bella. I'll protect you." Recognition sparked in her eyes and she lifted her head to look at me. I wiped her tears from her cheeks and placed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She looked from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes again. Her little pink tongue darted out to wet her parted lips. I knew what she wanted, I wanted it too. Before I knew it I was inches away from her warm, waiting lips. I could smell her scent as her breath washed over me. I cupped the back of her neck with my hand and caressed small circles on the skin. Her pulse was racing, and her flesh was heated. I could almost taste her.

"Bella." I murmured against her lips. I could feel the venom fill my mouth. I could hold Bella, but kissing her was another thing entirely. What if I hurt her? I could never forgive myself. "Bella I...I can't..."

Hurt filled her eyes and she quickly turned her head away. She thought I rejected her.

"Bella, trust me. I _want _to kiss you. God, you don't know how badly I want to..." I grabbed her chin gently and turned her head to face me once again. "Bella, your too good for me...I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you."

Bella huffed and stood from my lap. "Its utterly ridiculous to even joke about being too good for me, when I am far from worthy of you." Angry tears threaten to unleash from her beautiful eyes. " And what are you going to do? Bite me? There isn't anything you could possibly do to hurt me than I already have been."

"Bella you have no idea how badly I could hurt you." _And how close your analogy is..._

"I don't believe you...Just admit you don't want someone like me and get it over with Edward. I'm a big girl. I can handle a little heartache." She glared at me with her tiny fists clenched at her side.

"I'm no good for you Bella. It has nothing to do with me not wanting you. I know I haven't known you for very long but I am drawn to you. I want to be with you, but...I'm dangerous."

"No...your not. I can feel it. You wouldn't hurt me."

How could I get it across to her how badly I could hurt her? How I am dangerous and shouldn't be trusted. How much her blood called to me. I looked at this beautiful woman in front of me. She was so fragile and broken, I could not break her spirit any more than it already was. Then I knew. I had to show her what I really was. I would suffer the consequences with my family later on. But maybe she wouldn't tell? Maybe she could accept me for what I was? _In your dreams Cullen._

"Fine. You wanna know how dangerous I am?" I began to unbutton my shirt. I would show her what a monster really was.

----

Bella Pov:

My heart was sinking. I was drowning in a pain I never thought I could feel. I knew Edward wouldn't want me, but it felt even worse hearing it from his mouth. He says he wants me, but if he did, why would he push me away? I watched closely as he removed his shirt and let it slump to the forest floor.

"I'm going to show you what I really am Bella. Why I can't be trusted. Why you should fear me." Edward began walking to the center of the meadow. I bit my lip and fidgeted with my fingers anxiously. How could I fear him?

Edward stopped at the edge of the shadows and sighed heavily. He tensed instantly before taking his final step into the sunlight. My breath hitched in my chest. There before me, was Edward Cullen, looking more beautiful than any being should look. He turned around to face me, pain written on his face. Not physical pain, but a pain closer to shame. His alabaster skin sparkled in the sun, casting out rainbows. I took a step forward in awe. I knew he was too perfect for me. Now I knew I wasn't worthy.

"Your beautiful..." What more could I say? I was staring at the definition of perfection.

"Beautiful? You think _this _is beautiful?" he gestured to his body. "Bella, this is the skin of a killer. I'm a killer." His jaw clenched and his gaze fell. "I'm not what you think I am..."

He's not what I think he is? Well obviously normal people don't sparkle in the sun but what did he mean by killer? My eyes widened in realization. I knew what Edward was all along. Part of me always knew.

"Bella...I'm a-"

"Vampire."

Edward's head snapped up and he gawked at me. His eyes wide. So I was right...

"How did you..."

"I guess I always knew...But I really found out when a friend of the family, who lives down at La Push, told me about his tribes legend. About the cold ones." I bit my lip and took another step towards him. "The way you saved me from my truck...The speed it would have taken...How your skin is ice cold, but doesn't seem to bother me...How when you eat food you almost seem as your in pain...I guess it just all adds up." I now stood in front of him. "Your a Vampire, arnt you?"

"Yes." He looked at me closely, looking for what, I wasn't sure. "Are you afraid?"

"No." I said instantly.

"You should be..." Edward closed the distance between us, pressing his body to mine. "I've killed people before Bella."

"Before?" I could feel my body shake, not with fear, but with the closeness. It felt right. "Don't you kill people on a regular basis? I mean...You drink blood...right?"

"You say that like its nothing...But no. My family, we are not like others of our kind. We only drink the blood of animals." Edward sighed, but didn't move away. "But I have killed people before. Your scent, Bella." He leaned his face near mine, almost brushing his lips against mine again. "Its like a drug to me. It calls to me more than any human has before. I wanted to kill you the first day I met you Bella." I swallowed hard, it was so hard to concentrate on anything other than how close Edward was to me, and how amazing he smelled. "Do you see why I am dangerous now?"

I shook my head.

Edward growled and disappeared with a flash. I looked around, frantically trying to find my angel. He appeared behind me and I whipped my head around. He made sure I was watching and picked up the large bolder he was sitting on earlier, and threw it across the meadow, shattering it into smaller rocks when it made impact with the hard ground.

"I am designed to kill. You've seen how quick I am, how strong I am. Bella, everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell." He disappeared again and reappeared in front of me. "I'm a monster. I could kill you easily. With a flick of my wrist I could snap your neck." He traced his fingers up my neck, causing me to shiver. "I could kill you right now if I wanted to."

"I'm not afraid of you..." I reached out and touched his cheek. "I trust you Edward...I trust you, and I don't trust anyone...Please don't push me away..."

"Bella...I've Killed-"

"I don't care about your past. The past does not make you who you are. You have done nothing but care for me and make me feel safe. I feel no fear around you. You won't hurt me. You would have already if you were going to." He places his hand over mine, pressing my hand to his cheek.

"I would never forgive myself if were to hurt you..."

"You won't...I trust you..." And I did, I knew I did. From that moment on, I could trust Edward. But I wasn't ready to tell him my past yet. I would eventually...but not yet. He shared his demons with me, and that gave me the strength to share mine...eventually.

"Bella..." He breathed my name softly. Gently, he pulled me to him and embraced me, burring his face into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into his chest, inhaling him deeply.

"I don't want to loose you Edward...I know we haven't known each other long...But I know, I can't loose you."

"I can't promise anything Bella...If I become a threat, I have no choice but to leave...But, I can't loose you either. I can't stay away from you."

"Then don't." I could feel him smile into my hair and then pressed his cold lips to my scalp. I shivered at the contact. How did we go from him telling me he wanted to kill me, to him kissing the top of my head? _To hell if I know, nor do I care. _

"Bella, you cannot tell anyone that you know about me and my family. Not only would you be putting yourself in danger, but the rest of us as well. No one can know, alright?"

"I wouldn't tell anyone Edward. Your secret is safe with me...And I'll tell you mine sometime...I'm just not ready to face it yet, alright?" He nodded and stroked my hair, smiling his heartbreaking smile.

We spent the remainder of our time laying down in meadow asking each other questions. Questions about our likes and dislikes. Questions about my parents, and his family. Questions about my childhood, those were the hardest questions to answer. When I asked Edward about his, he told me he couldn't remember his childhood.

"I was born in 1901, and transformed in 1918. My family had already died of the Spanish Influenza, and I was near death with it. Carlisle found me and changed me into what I am today. After my transformation, my human memories were fuzzy. I can remember my Mother's eyes were green, and my Father's hair was like my own. I can't remember what their voices sounded like, what they smelt like, what they really even looked like. Just bits and pieces of memories I cant put together." He looked over to me linked his fingers with mine.

"That has to be hard. I mean, not remembering." He shrugged.

"Since I can't remember, I don't miss them like I should. I know that sounds bad but, in a way it just helped me accept what I am. I had no attachments to my human life, so I had nothing to miss." That made since. I wish I could forget.

"Does it hurt? Transforming I mean."

His face grew serious and he nodded. "Its the worst pain you can imagine. It feels like flames are engulfing your entire body, and by the time it ends, your begging for death to come. I may not remember my human life, but I remember my transformation clearly. The pain is all you can think about." I bit my lip and played with his fingers.

"So most of the legends about Vampires are fake, right? I mean, the sun doesn't hurt you, just makes you beautiful." He huffed at that but nodded.

"I still don't see how you can see this as beautiful, but I'm glad it doesn't scare you...But yes, most legends are completely wrong. We don't sleep in coffins or dungeons, We don't have to ask permission to come into your house, We do have reflections, and we defiantly do _not _turn into bats." He smiled to himself.

"Dang, I thought the bat thing was cool." I frowned playfully and he burst into laughter.

"Sorry to disappoint you Bella, but running is a lot more fun than being a bat. And we are cuter, have you seen some of the faces on those little buggers?"

"Hey, Fruit bats are adorable!" We both laughed together. This felt nice, I haven't laughed in so long it was almost foreign to me. "But you are cuter, by far." I blushed as soon as the words came out of my mouth. Had I just called Edward cute? _Oh God kill me now..._

He smiled and brushed the back of his fingers against my cheek. "Your blush is so beautiful." My cheeks were on fire now. Did he just call me Beautiful? _Ok God, I take it back!_

My eyes fluttered close, his touch left me content. "Edward?"

"Hm?"

"How did you know about Phil? You said I murmured his name during an episode, but I don't remember ever saying his name."

Silence.

I let my eyes open slowly. Edward's smile was sheepish. What did I miss?

"Well...If I tell you this I will sound like some crazy stalker...But... I snuck into your room one night. I didn't plan on it! I came to check on you after the episode you had in front of the gym and...I wanted to see you. Just to see if you were alright...and you were having a nightmare." He averted my gaze.

"So...you snuck into my room and watched me sleep?" He nodded. Could my face get any redder?

"You started to talk in your sleep. I was about to leave, because I felt I was invading your privacy, but you called for me. You sounded so scared I couldn't help it...I told you I wanted to protect you, and I meant it. So I held you until you calmed down..." Ok, I was wrong. My face just got redder. "You didn't say Phil's name, but I remembered when I asked you about your stepfather earlier, when we met, you seemed off. Like you were hiding something. I guess I just did a process of elimination." What could I say to that? Edward in my dream, was the Edward in real life. I hadn't dreamt what he said to me...I hadn't dreamt him holding me and calming me...He really did chase Phil away. He really was my angel.

"Are you mad? I didn't mean to invade your privacy! Honest...I just...I feel very...protective of you."

"No, I'm not mad." I smiled and rolled so I was on my side, facing him. "Just do me a favor. If you ever do sneak in my room again. Warn me before I wake up and you scare the crap out of me." Edward laughed and nodded

"Will do. I don't sleep anyway so, if its not uncomfortable for you, I may visit more often."

"You don't sleep? Like at all?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Nope. Vampires have no need to sleep. We never get tired."

"Hm...Well maybe you can keep me company. I don't sleep much at all. Nightmares as you can tell." He frowned and rolled to his side this time, facing me as well.

"You really should get more sleep, Bella. Your still a human, you need rest or your body will shut down." He reached out and stroked the dark circles under my eyes. "I'll even hold you if thats what you need to be calm enough to rest...That is if it would help, I don't mean to over step my boundaries."

"O-Okay." I bit my lip. Did I just invite Edward to hold me as I sleep? Wait...Did _He _just offer to hold me as I slept? This day just went from weird to weirder. But I wasn't complaining. Weird can be a good thing. _Especially if it means Edward Cullen gets to hold you at night..._

"Its getting late. I should probably take you home before it gets cold." He stood up and held his hand out for me. I took it without hesitation and he lifted me effortlessly from the ground, never releasing my hand. "Thank you for coming here with me Bella...and for not freaking out and running for the hills when you found out what kind of monster I was."

"Edward, your not a monster. I know a monster...and you are definitely _not _a monster...I would never run from you. And it was my pleasure to come here...thank you for not pushing too much with Phil...I promise I will tell you. I just need to be able to face it, is all." He began leading me down the pathway we walked earlier, his fingers laced with mine.

"Well, I'm glad you don't see me as a monster... I just hope you are right. And I understand Bella. I don't want to push you for information. Its not my place. I know you will tell me when you are ready, and I will be ready to listen."

"But what if..." I took a deep breath and blinked back a few traitorous tears. "Nevermind."

He stopped us and turned to face me, bringing my chin up to meet his eyes. "Tell me."

"What if...what I end up telling you...makes you see me differently? What if...you won't want to be my friend anymore because of it..."

"Bella...Nothing you could tell me will ever make me not want to be with you...I just told you I was a _vampire _and you are worried that your past will chase me away? It wont Bella. I will never judge you."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smiled. "Thank you."

----

I stepped into my room and shut the door behind me. Edward would be coming over later tonight. This was the exact opposite of what I told myself before I left this room this morning. Its funny how things work out sometimes. I looked over to my ancient computer and sighed. I needed to e-mail Renee. I promised her I would stay in contact with her, but I couldn't help but feel a little bitter. She was the one that sent me away, why should I stay in contact with her? What did she care anyway? No...I shouldn't blame Renee. Phil had gotten to my very impressionable Mother.

Charlie would not be home until tomorrow morning, so its not like I had to cook dinner or anything. I was far too anxious to eat. I should have told Edward to come over earlier. I sighed and walked over to my desk and opened one of the drawers on the side. I pulled out a CD I brought with me. I brought all of my CD's, not that I had many to begin with. Walking over to my small radio, I popped in the CD and did something I haven't done since Phil came into the picture. I cranked up the volume and let the music take me. Sure I would listen to music to lull me to sleep, or just to escape, but it was always quiet. Don't get me wrong, I didn't crank it up so loud it would bother anyone, I'm not inconsiderate. But I did have it loud enough to hear it across the room.

_Oh no,_

_It's bad._

_Got me feeling so weak_

_When you're holding my hand_

_You smile, I die_

_Cause I don't wanna feel what I'm feeling inside_

_It's too much, it's too late_

_I'm so into you_

I began cleaning up random spots in my room, trying in vain to make it look presentable. What's the point? He has seen my room already. Oh well, doesn't mean it can't look better tonight, right?

_I'd be crushed if you walked away_

_I'd be lost, I'd be drowning in gray_

_I'd be wounded beyond repair if you weren't there_

_I'd be crushed_

I began singing along with the music, for some reason this song meant more to me now than it had when I first heard it. Edward's doing.

_I swore I'd be in control of myself_

_What have you done with me?_

_Your lips, my skin_

_I don't know where you end and where I begin_

_I hate you, but I love you_

_So don't ever leave_

I plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes, listening and singing along to the music.

_I'd be crushed if you walked away_

_I'd be lost, I'd be drowning in gray_

_I'd be wounded beyond repair if you weren't there_

_I'd be crushed_

I rolled over and clung to Edward's jacket, inhaling his lingering scent. How was it still there after a week?

_You got me falling_

_And I never wanted to feel like I do_

_I'm so into you_

_Oh no_

_It's bad_

I sat back up and stared mindlessly at the computer across from me. I was stalling.

_Crushed, if you walked away_

_I'd be lost_

_I'd be drowning in gray_

_I'd be wounded beyond repair_

_If you weren't there_

I swallowed my pride and sat in the desk chair and turned the computer on. It roared to life and I propped my elbow up on the desk, resting my head on my hand.

_Crushed_

_I'd be lost_

_I'd be drowning in gray_

_I'd be wounded beyond repair_

_If you weren't there_

_There_

I clicked on the e-mail link and the screen popped up. Crap. I haven't checked this since I arrived in Forks. I'll have one pissed off Mama.

_I'd be crushed_

_Oh no, oh no..._

The song ended and I sighed.

"You have a very beautiful voice Bella."

I squealed and whipped my head around to see a very amused, smiling Edward sitting in my open window. Oh God...He just heard me singing...

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He hopped down from his sitting position and walked towards me.

"I-Its okay, really! I uh...I was just...getting ready to reply to a few e-mails so...uh, yeah." He chuckled and took a seat at the end of my bed.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about Bella. I meant what I said. You really do have a beautiful voice." His smile could melt my heart. Damn him and his ability to make me into a puddle at his feet.

"Thanks." I mumbled and turned back to the e-mail. I read through them quickly, each e-mail got more and more frustrating to read. I could feel my Mother's tension through the damn computer. I sighed and clicked on the last one.

_Isabella Marie Swan, if you do not send me an e-mail soon I will call your Father. _

_Now, anyway. How are you doing in Forks? Do you have any new friends? Have you finally decided to give Phil a chance? Oh, speaking of Phil. He says 'Hi' and that he misses you dearly. You know Bella, we only sent you away for your own good. Its not right to go around and spreading lies about other people. I know me being married is a big adjustment for you, but you will have to get over this little feud with Phil. He is after all my husband. Maybe when you have had time to think about the way you have been acting, you will be able to come back home. Until then, I want you to think about how wrong it was of you to spread lies. I have taught you better than that. _

_ Love you always,_

_Mom 3_

I glared at the screen for a few moments, contemplating throwing the computer across the room, but thought better of it. Instead I began typing.

_Dear Mom,_

_First of all, Forks is great. No one here calls me a lier like EVERYONE did back home. I love it here in this cold, damp, dreary place. Honestly I do. I love the fact that you shipped me off like some dog who misbehaves and you can no longer keep it because it pisses on the carpet. Sure it was for my own good. That part you actually got right. You know why? Phil isn't here. HAPPY FREAKING DAY ! You being married isn't my problem. Its WHO you married,that is my problem. Phil would probably be a nice guy if...hm gee, let me think. If maybe he wouldn't rape your daughter? That might be a good idea. Oh! Here is an idea for you Mom. How about you actually believe your daughter! You know, the one who you "raised not to spread lies" Yeah. The one who you shipped off because you got tired of me "ruining" your marriage. How about that Mom? So yeah, I am soooooo glad you sent me to Forks. I actually have friends here. Their names are Edward and Alice. Two of the greatest people I have ever met in my life. Edward is absolutely wonderful, I think I'm in love with him. And Alice? Alice is like the sister I never had. She is fun and quirky and knows how to make me feel good. Why don't you take a lesson from the two of them huh?_

I took a deep breath and sighed exasperatingly. There was no way I was going to send this to my Mother. I just had to release the stress. I felt a little better ranting it out like that. I glanced over my shoulder to be sure Edward didn't see what I was typing, and quickly deleted my entry.

"Something wrong?" He asked, looking over to me for the first time. He was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"No, just over protective Mother." Heh, yeah. Protective my ass.

"I see." He chuckled and sat up. "Well, better than her not caring, right?" If only he knew...

"Yeah." I quickly typed that everything was fine, for her not to freak out and call Charlie. That I was making a few friends and I would try to be a better daughter. I kept it short and sweet and pushed send. I turned the computer off and whirled around to face Edward.

"Ready for bed?" I looked at the clock and glared at it. It was later than I thought, nearly 12. I turned back to him and nodded.

"I'll be right back." He nodded and I hurried to the bathroom to change into my pajamas.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror after I stripped of my cloths and stared at my reflection. I had deep scars doing down my sides from Phil's fingernails. I shivered at the memory. I had other tiny scars on different parts of my body from his assault. I closed my eyes tightly and shoved a tank-top over my head angrily and shoved my flannel pajama pants on. I pulled my hair back in a loose ponytail and appraised my appearance in the mirror. Eh, It will do.

I made it back to my room shortly and closed the door behind me. Edward was already in bed waiting for me. I blushed as he patted the bed beside him. Was I really going through with this? Was I really going to lay in Edward's arms? If he was willing...Hell to the Yes.

I climbed in bed and under the covers. Edward looked just as nervous as I was. He smiled reassuringly and held his arm out to me. I pressed into him and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer and rubbed my back gently. I sighed contently and draped my arm across his waist

"Are you too cold? I know my skin is probably not the most comfortable temperature..."

"I'm fine. I actually like how your skin feels against me." I felt him shift under me when I realized what I just said. "Uh, I mean...T-That it doesn't bother me..." My face warmed.

Edward laughed and stroked my hair with his other hand. "I know what you meant Bella."

I nodded and buried my face into his chest. He smelt as heavenly as I remembered. The feel of his hands caressing me. One running through my hair and the other tracing small circles on my back eased all of the tension in my body. I felt myself start to drift off moments later.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Hmm?" I murmured into his chest.

"Just letting you know. I'm not walking away." I could feel him smile into my hair. "So no need to be crushed."

I tightened my arm around his waist in a hug and smiled into him. "Thank You."

"No need. Rest now my Bella." _My Bella... _Sweet dreams overcame me shortly. Sweet dreams where nightmares once inhabited. I rather like sleeping in Edward's arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi Yaw! Thanks so much for all the faves and comments last chapter! All of your comments really keep me going in this story! I am so sorry this chapter is late. I have been slacking...I been a fanfiction whore again and been reading like there is not tomorrow! And this chapter was eluding me for quite some time!**

**I just wanna let Yaw know, I am working on another Twilight AU fanfic now as well. I will post chapter one as soon as I am done with it. I am not sure if I like it so far so I keep tweeking it. I hope yaw like it when I post it up! Also, in this chapter I mention Bipolar..I dunno if that owuld offend anyone but I hope it doesnt. I am bipolar so I didn't think anything of it when I typed it. ALSO TIMES TWO! I know this chapter is reallly up and down. I also know things seem a bit rushed..and I am uber sorry about that! I am tyring to slow it down but...My mind runs away with me! **

**Songs quoted in this chapter:  
**

**Civil Twilight - Human**

**Sia - Broken Biscuit  
**

**Okay, I'll shut up so you can read!**

**Twilight (C) Stephanie Meyer  
**

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Seven

I want you

Bella Pov:

After the most peaceful sleep I have ever had, I was reluctant to wake up. But when I did, I had the biggest, goofiest smile I could muster plastered on my face. When I opened my eyes, they were met by an angel. Edward's golden eyes shined back at me. He was beaming. I sighed contently when he reached out and graced my cheekbones with his fingers. His touch always sent electrical waves through my body. And regardless how cold his hands were, they warmed my body.

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

"Mmm." I mumbled sleepily into his chest. Could anyone be having a better morning than me right now? Nope. Impossible.

"Good." Did he want me to move? Was I overstepping my boundaries by laying in his arms longer than he wanted me to? Was this even okay? Almost as if answering my questions, he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his nose into my hair. "You talk in your sleep."

My heart stopped. _Oh God. What had I said? _

"O-Oh?"

"Yeah, its nothing to be embarrassed about Bella."

_Oh great merciful God. Please don't let me have said anything to scare him off._

"What did I say?" I couldn't hold the apprehension from my voice.

"Just that you found me attractive." He wasn't telling me everything. I could tell.

"Well everyone finds you attractive...what _exactly _did I say?"

"You told me I was handsome." Handsome? I could live with that. "And that you wanted to feel my lips against yours..."

_Its official. God is definitely NOT a woman. I think I am just going to disappear into the mattress now..._

Edward could feel me stiffen in his arms and chuckled. "Bella, relax. I would be lying if I said that thought didn't appeal to me. You know it does. I just...I don't know if I can. I need to be around you more. Get use to your scent, and work on it not driving me crazy."

So he _wanted _to kiss me? I knew he was holding me out of pity, but to kiss me out of pity? Did I really want my first kiss to be one sided? I knew my feelings were...Yes he said he couldn't stay away from me. But that boiled down to the fact that he craved my blood. He could never want _me._

"You don't have to pretend, Edward." I tried to bite my tongue, but the words flowed out of me. "I know you feel some sort of pity towards me and thats why you are being so nice to me. Or maybe its just because you crave my blood so much..." I sat up and gazed down at him. His brows were furrowed together and a look of hurt on his face. It nearly stopped the rest from coming out. Nearly. "If thats what you want...You can have it." I tilted my head to the side, exposing my next and braced myself.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked hotly

What was I talking about? All I knew was that Edward wanted nothing to do with me, other than protect me. But did he want to protect _me _or rather protect the object of his desire. My blood. But if that is what Edward wanted. If my blood is what would truly satisfy him...I would give it to him. No one would miss me anyway. I'm sure he would make it as painless as he could. I knew I could never deny him what he wanted. He wanted my blood. So I would give it to him.

"My blood, Edward. If thats what you want, you can have it." His eyes widened and he threw the covers off him. He was standing on the other side of the bed, facing me in less than a second.

"Bella." He practically spat my name at me. "Don't you _ever _talk like this again. You would be willing to die? To satisfy my animalistic thirst? Do you really think, after everything I told you yesterday...Do you really think I would ever allow myself to hurt you?"

"No." I bit my lip but didn't move from exposing my neck. "But if its what you truly want, then take it. I won't fight you."

His anger slowly melted away, and was replaced by hurt. I wasn't trying to hurt him...I was trying to give him what he wanted. I could never be good enough for him, but my blood could. I know I was starting to sound like a complete looney bird, and I probably was. But all I wanted was to be with Edward. And I hated pity. I rather him just take my blood and be done with it, rather than him lead me on. He was the band-aid to my wounded heart. I rather him just rip it off quickly and spare me the pain of peeling off slowly. The less sting the better.

How could my wonderful morning turn into this? Was I really willing to give my life for him? I sighed when I realized the question was a no brainier. Of course I would. Edward grabbed the side of my neck gently and pulled me to him. He slowly began descending to my neck. Slowly, almost painfully slow, I felt his lips graze my heated skin. I held back a shiver when we made contact, and braced myself for the pain. I closed my eyes tightly and my breath hitched. But no pain. I was about to question him when I felt his lips apply more pressure to my neck. But there was no bite. No pain. Edward slowly kissed my pulse that was thumping rapidly against my neck. He was kissing the heartbeat he wanted so badly to end. He wasn't draining me dry and left me to die...He was _kissing _me.

Edward took a deep breath and pulled away to look in my eyes. I blinked back the tears I didn't know were falling and stared back at him. Why had he done that? Why hadn't he just taken my life like he wanted to. I was giving myself to him and he wasn't taking it. Vampires were confusing.

"Bella." his voice was thick and raspy. He swallowed hard and brushed my tears away. "I will never hurt you...I may be a monster...and I may have urges to drink your blood...But I care too much for you than to ever take your life. Willingly given to me or not...You mean too much to me."

What?

"But...your doing all of this out of pity...why? Don't get my hopes up for something I can never have Edward. You are too perfect and wonderful. There is no way you could possibly care for me."

"Is that what you think this is? Pity? Bella...I do not pity you. Yes, I hate that something has happened in your past that has caused you to react to touch the way you do. But its not pity. I want to protect you Bella. I could never live with myself if I let anything happen to you. I want to take care of you. I..." He sighed and said something under his breath. It was too quiet to make out.

"You what?"

"Nothing...Just don't you ever talk like you want me to take your life. I am trying to protect that life, not take it. Like I said...You mean too much to me Bella."

I nodded, this time unable to fight back the tears. Edward sighed and held me to his chest, rubbing soft circles on my back. He probably thought I was Bipolar or something...Hell I probably was.

"I'm sorry Edward...Its just hard to believe someone so wonderful as you...would even waste time with someone like me."

"Bella...You don't see yourself very clearly. You are wonderful, beautiful, kind and caring...You are an amazing woman Bella...Anyone would be lucky just to know you."

"You...You think I'm beautiful?"

"Absolutely. I have never seen a more beautiful creature in my life." He smiled warmly at me and I felt my face grow warm. "And I have lived a long time, as you know."

"Thats hard to believe...I mean, you live with the two most beautiful women I have ever seen." Alice was gorgeous, and Rosalie could make anyone feel self-conscious.

"To each their own. I don't find them attractive like that. Sure they are beautiful, our kind usually is. But you...You have a beauty I have never seen. A beauty inside and out." He stroked my cheek and I felt like I was about to burst out with joy. I felt like doing a happy dance but decided against it.

"Thank you." I whispered, unable to find my voice.

"Shhh, there is no need to thank me Bella." But I did. I had more reason to thank him then he knew.

He allowed me to stay in his arms for a while longer, until he heard my stomach growl. He chuckled and lifted me out of bed and placed me on the floor gently.

"Your Father left early this morning again. I can accompany you downstairs if you like...Or if you prefer me to leave, I can do that too." His smile faltered when he mentioned leaving. So I beamed at him and took his hand.

"No, don't leave yet. I want you here with me." His mile returned and we made our way to the kitchen. He sat down at the table while I grabbed a bowl and some cereal and poured some. He raised his eyebrow and made a face of disgust.

"What the hell is that?"

"Cereal..why?"

"Why are you eating little colored circles?"

I tried to hold back a smile. "They are called Froot Loops. Only the best cereal ever."

He picked up the box and narrowed his eyes. "What's with the bird? What does a Toucan have to do with colorful circles? And Fruit is spelled wrong...Is that intentional?"

"You ask an awful lot of questions when it comes to breakfast foods ya know." I shoved a spoonful in my mouth and smiled at the grimace he gave me.

"Humans eat the strangest things..."

"I could say the same thing about you Vampires. " He smirked at me, causing me to giggle.

Wasn't it just two minutes ago I was surrendering my neck to his will? Now I was sitting at the kitchen table with him, giggling like a little girl. I hope he does not get the impression I'm like the other girls at school. Then again, maybe that would be best.

----

Once I was finished I ran upstairs to get dressed. Edward stayed downstairs. I told him to make himself comfortable, which of course meant he didn't move from the kitchen. I dressed quickly and made it back downstairs before the phone rang. I grabbed it quickly and glanced over to Edward, who was smiling at me.

"Swan residence."

_"Bella...Good to hear your voice." _My eyes widened and I swallowed hard.

"P-Phil..." Edward narrowed his eyes and stiffened in his seat. I wonder if he could hear Phil? Everything else he could do was enhanced...why not hearing.

_"Yes, its me. You miss your dear old Step-Father?" _His voice was menacing. I could almost see the smirk playing on his lips.

"Not particularly...What do you want." I tried in vain to keep my voice steady.

_"Aww. Now thats not nice...Because I sure miss you Bella...I miss our little time together." _I felt the bile rise in my throat. Why was he doing this...Why was he calling me? I came to Forks to get away from him.

I was about to respond when I heard a door slam on the other end. Mom must of arrived home, because Phil's demeanor changed.

_"Is that Bella? Let me talk to her." _I wanted to talk to my Mother. I wanted to know she was alright, and that that animal has not hurt her like he has me. _"Bella? How you doin' Baby? Why haven't you e-mailed me? Its so nice to see you and Phil talking...You finally see that the lies you spread was wrong? That he never ra-"_

"I sent you an e-mail last night." I interrupted her " And no Mother. I have not seen the 'lies' I have been spreading was wrong. Because the only lies that have been flowing around, has been coming from Phil. Tell him to never call me again. The only person I have any urge to talk to in Arizona is you. And to be honest Mother, I don't even feel like talking to you right now. Not when all you can do is call me a lier. If I wanted that kind of treatment I would of stayed in Arizona. And you want to know how I'm fairing?" I took a deep breath. This felt good. I knew it was wrong to rat my Mother out but I could no longer contain myself. "I am doing very well in Forks. Yes its cold, and wet and dreary. But its a hell of a lot better here than being in the same house with _that _man you call a husband. I actually have some friends here..." I remembered the letter I planned on writing her the night before. But I was going to edit it a bit. "Edward and Alice. Remember those names mom, because every time you call me, or every time you e-mail me asking if I'm ready to come home and be civil. You will know I have a reason to stay here."

I looked over to Edward, who was staring at me wide eyed. Why stop here? "Alice is sweet and kind, and she actually listens to me. She HUGS me Mom. Something you haven't done in months before I left. And Edward..." I bit my lip for a second before going on. "Edward is the sweetest guy I have ever met. He takes care of me. I will be lucky to find a man even remotely like him that could possibly want me. Though I already know I never will...No one could replace Edward...Too bad your Phil is nothing like him...Maybe then you wouldn't be so damn brain washed to listen to your own daughter. Sorry I was such a disappointment to you..."

I was literally shaking now. My whole body shook with tremors and my knees wobbled. I didn't even feel the tears streaming down my face, or the sound of my cracking voice. I was a mess.

_"Isabella Marie Swa-" _My Mother's angry voice was cut off when I slammed the phone back down on the receiver and let my knees give way. Edward was there in a flash to catch me before I hit the floor. He held me to his chest and shushed me.

"I-I'm sorry E-Edward...You didn't need t-to hear that..."

"Shhh...I'm glad I did...For more reasons than one..." He scooped me up in his arms, and held me bridal style to his chest. He began carrying me up the steps slowly as I sobbed into his already drenched shirt. I don't know what upset me more. The way I talked to my Mother, or the disturbing revelation that Phil would most likely call me every now and again. This time would be easier than others...Edward was here for me this time...But what about the next? The only refuge I would have is my closet. I liked Edward's arms a millions times more than the closet.

"Bella...What did your Mother mean by lies?" I swallowed hard and looked up at him.

"She thinks I've lied to her about what Phil has done to me..."

"And that would be?..." I knew I should tell him...I knew he deserved to know...But the words were stuck in my throat.

"Its okay. You don't have to tell me right now..." I knew he wanted to know, but he didn't force it out of me...I loved him even more in that moment than I had before.

"Thank you..." Edward rocked me gently in his arms while he sat on my bed, stroking my hair gently. He began to hum a tune that calmed me instantly.

"What is that melody? Its very beautiful..." He looked down at me and smiled.

"I don't know really...Just something that has been playing in my head for awhile now...It always comes to my mind when I'm around you...I compose on the Piano."

"Really?...Could I hear you play some time?"

"Of course." I smiled slightly into his chest and closed my eyes. I felt his cold lips press into the top of my head, and I sighed.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you..." His velvety voice whispered into my ear. A thrill shot thorough me at his words.

"You w-what?"

"You told your Mother...You would be lucky to find a man like me...who would want you...well...Bella I want you..." I furrowed my brow and blinked back the fresh wave of tears.

"What do you mean...want me?"

"I want to be there for you...I...I-I want to be yours...I want you to be mine."

"Edward...you don't know that..." What? what was I saying!? "I'm damaged...You don't want a girl like me...you deserve better..."

"You...are the best there is Bella...But if you don't want a Vampire...I...I under-"

"No!...thats not what I meant...of course _I _want _You_. But you deserve better than me..."

"Bella I know what I want...The thing is I don't deserve you...But I can't stay away from you...it physically hurts to...I want you Bella, even though I shouldn't." Edward's topaz eyes bore into me. So many emotions running through them at once, it left me breathless.

"I was already yours the day I first saw you in the lunchroom..."

"Bella..." His breath washed over my face. I was completely calm now, his touch long since brought me to peace. "Hold very still..."

I looked at him questioningly, but complied. I held as still as possible, watching closely as he slowly inched his face to mine. Was he doing what I think he is doing? Was he going to kiss me? Oh god, PLEASE let him kiss me...

Slowly, Edward's cold lips grazed mine. I quivered beneath his touch, he hesitated a moment but continued the agonizing slow pace with his lips. He brought my bottom lip between his lips and kissed me softly. Electricity shot throughout my whole body. Nerve endings I didn't even know I had were on fire. It took everything I had not to wrap my arms around his neck and plunge my tongue into his mouth. But I was not about to force myself upon him, nor did I ever have the guts to do that. But I did press my lips to his, giving his lips as much attention as he was giving mine. I sighed into his mouth and he presses a little harder. It was heaven. He tasted sweeter than the sweetest candy, and his breath washed over me, leaving me a puddle in his hands. Carefully, I began stroking his cheek with my right hand, while my left found its way into his hair. Edward groaned into my mouth and pulled me closer to him. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my head. When Edward pulled away, I couldn't help my little whimper of protest. I wasn't done kissing him yet...

He smiled and stroked my hair softly, looking into my eyes with the strangest emotion. It almost looked like..._Love?_

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." I felt more tears fill my eyes and blinked several times to clear my vision. He loved me... He loved me and he didn't even know me...And I loved him...Was it possible to fall in love so quickly?

"Your a stupid lion..." I smiled through the tears and he chuckled, nuzzling my neck.

"Your a stupid lamb..._My _lamb..." I sighed contently and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Your lamb..."

----

Edward Pov:

I was utterly disgusted when Bella offered her blood to me. Not because she was so willing to give up her life, but because I actually thought about it for a split second. Sure it wasn't very long, but I still had the thought cross my mind. A thought I will never allow myself to think of again.

When Phil called, I felt a strong urge to dismantle his body. Bella didn't know I could hear their conversation, but I heard every word he uttered. I could see the fear in Bella's eyes when she heard his voice, and the way her body quivered with his words. He was hurting her, and he wasn't even here. But what did he do to her? Why won't she tell me...She thinks I pity her, but thats far from the truth. What could have happened to her, that causes her to think a little male attention is pity?

All I knew was Phil better stay in Arizona, and away from _my _Bella. But that wasn't enough. He was starting to call her. Just hearing his voice was enough to send her into hysterics...What would happen if I wasn't here to sooth her? I guess I would just have to make sure I was always here for her. Always in calling distance. If she needed me, I would be there. Always.

I kissed her. I actually kissed Bella. The burn in my throat was there, as always. But it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Her warm lips pressed against mine, filled me with , not only the love I had for her, but love I felt _from _her. The constant pull I felt around her was stronger than ever before. Those feelings over ruled any trace of my thirst for her blood. Now I just thirsted for her. Which was just as dangerous.

I held this perfect creature in my arms, and knew from this moment on, there was no turning back. I have not known her for very long, but once change happens to my kind, its a permanent, life altering thing. Bella was my change, she was my humanity, she was what I was waiting for all these years. I couldn't let her go. Not now, not ever. Not unless its what she wanted. Even then, I knew I would not be far behind. I would always watch over her. I would always be hers, even if she didn't want me.

"What would you like to do today?" I nuzzled my nose into her hair. The smell of strawberries mixed with her natural floral scent. It was intoxicating.

"I don't mind what we do." Her small arms were still securely wrapped around my neck. I honestly didn't care what we did today either. If we could just stay like this, I would be happy for eternity. "But can we stay like this for a little longer?" She didn't even have to ask.

"Of course." I began stroking her hair gently, relishing in the warmth of her body against mine. It was as if her warmth was melting my frozen heart. "Would you like for me to stay with you again tonight? Or would you rather be alone?" _Please don't send me away...I won't be able to do it..._

"You mean, you are willing to stay with me again? But, what about Charlie? If he walked in and saw us he would-"

"Don't worry about your Father, Bella. I could hear his car coming down the road before he even got here. I can make myself scarce if he decides to check in on you. And of course I am willing to stay with you, silly girl. I don't like that your not able to sleep...You are human, and you need rest. If I can give you that, then I will be more than happy to hold you at night. I like watching you sleep anyway." I smirked as she flushed in my arms, she knew I was referring to her talking in her sleep. I found it adorable.

"Well in that case...Please do stay with me tonight. I haven't felt this well rested in..." She bit her lip and picked at the sleeves of her shirt. "A long time..."

She was thinking about what Phil did to her, I could tell. Now if only she could open up ant tell me what happened, what I can do. Maybe give me his address so I could hunt him down and castrate him...

"Well I'm glad I can be of service to you, Milady." I smiled as she let out a carefree laugh. Her laugh was like a composition all on its own. It was quiet for a while longer. Neither of us really caring if anything was said, as long as we could be near each other. Or maybe it was just me.

"Edward, can I ask you some questions...About your family?" I knew this was coming, I was reluctant to tell her more about me, afraid she would run away screaming. But I could not deny her anything.

"Of course. I figured as much, that you would have some questions."

"Well...You said your family only lives off the blood of Animals, correct?" I nodded. "Why? I mean, I know you have proved some of the legends about Vampires wrong but...Don't Vampires drink Human blood?"

"Most do, but my family and I...We rather not take human lives." I played absentmindedly the hand in her lap as I spoke. "I have killed people before Bella...I went through a rebellious stage, I was still confused about what I had become...I did hunt humans at one point...Murderers and Rapists." A quiet whimper escaped Bella's lips. Was she afraid of me now? Was she ashamed of what I am? I started to pull her away but her grip on my neck wouldn't loosen. "Did I scare you?"

"No. Please continue." I looked in her eyes closely, when I saw she wasn't lying I sighed and relented.

"But I later met back up with Carlisle, and he took me back in. Regardless if I deserved it or not, he forgave me. From then on, I only fed from Animals...As to why? Its very simple...I don't want to be a monster, Bella. Yes, human blood is far more satisfying. Animal blood does not fully quench our thirst, there is always the burning in our throat when we smell human blood. But we have trained ourselves to ignore that burning. We will never be fully satisfied but we like to think there is more to us than our animalistic urges. That, even though we don't have blood in our veins, or a beating heart. That we still maintain humanity."

"I don't think your a monster...And I believe you still have your humanity. If you didn't, you wouldn't have saved me that day when the van nearly hit me. You wouldn't have been concerned with my well-being. Besides, the past does not make you who you are Edward. You may have killed people before, but you don't know. You have learned from your previous actions, and have made a change for the better. I don't think anyone could ask anything more of you."

I couldn't help but smile. She really was amazing. I just told her I killed people in the past, and she tells me she thinks I still retain my humanity. "Thank you Bella..." She smiled and nodded.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"You can ask me anything."

"How old are you? What was your human life like? How do you become like you?" I saw the curiosity sparkle in her eyes and laughed. Leave it to Bella to go from barely speaking a word, to pouring out question after question.

"One at a time." She blushed and I stroked her cheek gently, feeling the warmth fill her face. "I am 104 years old." I eyed her carefully, but her eyes held no shock, only more curiosity. "I was born in 1901. My Father's name was Edward Masen Sr. and my Mother was Elizabeth Masen. I can't really remember my human memories much, as I told you before. But from what I can remember...I had a good life. I remember my Mother was a very caring individual. She was sweet, and kind. A lot like you. My Father worked a lot. He wasn't home very often, but when he was he did his best to be a good husband and father to us."

"I'm sure they would be proud of you Edward. Of the man you have become now." I didn't share her sentiment. I knew my parents would be ashamed of what I had become. Of the monster their son was now.

"As far as becoming a Vampire...Its excruciating. The worst pain you can imagine. Its like a fire spreading throughout your body. By the time your heart finally stops, your begging for death. As I said before. The pain is all you can think about." She bit her lip and shifted in my lap. "The venom is what transforms us. If we bite our prey and suck them dry, nothing will happen. But if we bite a human, and let the venom spread, it will start the transformation. But its not easy to do. I don't know how Carlisle managed to do it. Once we taste human blood, its nearly impossible to stop. Which is why I have to be so careful with you. I won't allow myself to hurt you Bella."

"You won't hurt me Edward...I know you won't. I trust you." She trusted me...But did I trust myself?

"Well...Anymore questions?"

"Not right now."

"Can I ask you a few? I won't ask about what Phil did to you...I'll leave that to you to tell me." I hoped that was not too forward of me.

"Sure, but I'm pretty boring."

I doubt that.

"You are hardly boring, Bella...Tell me about your childhood."

"Well...My Parents got divorced when I was still very young. I would spend some time with Charlie every summer. I stopped a few years back. Charlie always tried to be a good Father, and he is. But he has always been pretty distant. I guess thats where I learned it from." Bella leaned into my chest and I smiled involuntarily, knowing she wanted to get closer. "Renee has always been really...childish I guess. I sorta raised myself. Regardless I had a good childhood. Renee was my best friend at one point, but once she met Phil, I dunno. I guess I found where her loyalties were."

"But you were close to her up until Phil? What kind of things did you do?"

"Pretty much anything. Renee's taste changed a lot. Yoga one week, Gardening the next. She was really hard to keep up with, but she never stuck to anything. I had always been into reading and music more than anything growing up, still am."

"I like a woman who knows her literature." I teased. She giggled and smiled up at me.

"Well thats good to know." A shade of pink tented her cheeks. I had to hold back the urge to kiss it. I may have kissed her today, but I'm not sure where this puts us. I was certain that I loved her...And that I would protect her and put her safety above all else. But I wasn't sure if I was what she wanted, if I was good for her.

We talked for hours about our likes and dislikes. About our favorite types of music and our favorite books and authors. I found out her favorite gemstone use to be sapphire, but lately was topaz. When I asked her why, she refused to answer, she just blushed furiously. Her favorite colors were blue and brown. She said brown because it was warm, and I had to agree with her. Her deep pools of her eyes were full of warmth. Brown was definitely my favorite color now. Bella was the most intriguing creature I have ever met. Our conversation only ended when her Father arrived home, and she had to prepare dinner. I told her I would be back before she was to go to bed.

I hurried home for a shower and a quick change of cloths. Once I was clothed, I went downstairs to find a very eager family waiting for me.

_Edward, Alice has let us know about Bella. Most of us understand your reasoning for letting her in on our secret. But this could end badly son. _Carlisle spoke to me through his thoughts on occasion. It just saved energy seeing as I could read his thoughts before he could voice them.

"I know you are all apprehensive about my situation with Bella. But I assure you I would not put this family in harms way."

"She is a human, Edward. Why you are even taking the time out to make friends with her is beyond me. She will never understand our world, and you are just endangering the family. What if the Volturi find out? What then Edward?" Rosalie's words were sharp and full of venom. I knew she would be the main problem with this situation.

"Nothing is going to happen. Bella will not tell anyone. If she were to tell someone and word got back to the Volturi, I would have seen it." Alice piped in happily. She was by far the most supportive when it came to Bella.

"Edward, dear. I am very happy for you but, I fear things may end badly. She is only human after all. Can you handle this? Not only your thirst for her...But can you really watch her grow old and die?" Esme's eyes only held sympathy and concern. But she was right. Could I sit and watch Bella age day after day? Could I watch her wither away and disappear from my life?

"You won't have to."

"What?" My head snapped in Alice's direction. She smiled at me and showed me a vision she must have had earlier. Bella was laying in my arms. Her alabaster skin matched mine. She was perfectly still. Her eyes shot open to reveal a bright red where brown once inhabited. She smiled lovingly at me and pressed her hand to my cheek. The warmth that once radiated off of her skin was now gone. She was a Vampire.

"No!" I shook my head of the image. I could not allow Bella to become a monster. I could not take away her soul. "Your wrong Alice...That is a future that will never come to pass. I won't allow it."

"You say that now Edward. But that future is locked in place. I have yet to see it waver, and I doubt it ever will."

"I will not take away her life, Alice. I will not take away her soul!"

"Edward-"

"No! End of discussion Alice...I rather watch her live her life, and watch it end when her time comes, than to take it from her." I felt a wave of calm wash over me. I glared at Jasper, a small growl emitting from my chest. He gave me an apologetic smile and wrapped his arm around Alice's shoulder.

"Edward, we only want you to be happy. But you are going to have to be careful. I trust Bella will not reveal our secret. But she is also fragile, Edward. In more ways than one. You and I both know there is something wrong with her." I gave a cryptic glare towards Carlisle. I knew I was being hostile, but I felt bombarded. First Rose went off about me not caring about the family, then Alice with the vision I could never let happen, now Carlisle telling me my Bella has something wrong with her?

"You know what I mean Edward...She has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You are going to have to be very careful on how you handle her. The human mind is a fragile thing, you don't want to push her too far. Have you figured out what has triggered it?"

The family looked on at us in confusion, all except for Alice. I confided in her the day after Bella had her meltdown by the gym.

"I don't know what it is for sure. She won't tell me just yet. She promises to, but I won't push for information until she is ready. I do know that it has to deal with her Step Father. He has hurt her in some way, and her Mother didn't believe her. Thats why she moved to Forks. Her Mother shipped her off because she felt she was spreading lies about her new Husband. Bella feels betrayed by her Mother. In fact..." I gave Alice the best smile I could muster at the moment. "She had a few choice words with her Mother this morning. Telling her she should follow in your footsteps Alice. You have really given her a friendship that she needs right now. I think your good for her." Alice beamed at me, nearly bouncing in place with joy.

"Then I can be friends with her? Your not going to hog her all to yourself like the selfish brother you are?"

"I am not selfish...And yes. I think Bella would like it very much to be friends with you." Pfft...Selfish...

Carlisle was quiet for the rest of the conversation. Emmett told me he wanted to meet Bella. I promised him once I felt she would be okay with meeting the family I would bring her over. Jasper was hesitant, but also happy for me that I have finally found someone. But could I really allow myself to love her? Especially with Esme and Alice's comments...Could I bare to watch her die? I knew I was better off watching her live life to the fullest, and letting her find her resting place when she was older, than to take her life and soul and making her one of us. Taking away her ability to find eternal rest or any chance in the afterlife. I gave up on the belief that we had souls, a long time ago. I couldn't do that to Bella. Was I too much of a danger for her? I knew I was in love with her...I pretty much told her as much tonight. But did she love me? Could she possibly love a killer?

----

Bella Pov:

Dinner was uneventful. Charlie told me all about his day of fishing with Harry Clearwater and Billy Black. I remember fishing with him when I was younger. I fell out of the boat and Charlie had to jump in after me. Needless to say, never been in a boat since then. Once dinner was finished, I wished my dad a good night and made my way to my room hastily. I was still on a high from my day with Edward. Not to mention my amazing, toe curling kiss. I couldn't wait until we could do that again. _Would he even want to?_

I shook my head of the thought. It hurt too much to think of Edward getting tired of me. He didn't really come out and say he loved me, but he insinuated he did. That was enough for me for right now. Thats all I needed to keep me pretending I wasn't out of my mind to imagine someone like him loving someone like me.

Once in my room I scavenged through my small stack of CDs, I pulled out one of my mixed CDs and popped it into my old radio. I plopped down on my bed and sighed heavily. Sia's Broken Biscuit was the first to play. I bit my lip and furrowed my brows when the words washed over me.

_I'm a broken biscuit_

_From the cookie jar_

_I'm a total misfit_

_In the puzzle that's so far_

_Careful not to crush me_

_In those hungry hands_

_Careful not to rush me_

_Into this fine romance_

_I stand under the weight of your words_

_Hoping you won't find me_

_I'm terrified of everything I've heard,_

_Don't swallow_

_I'm a damaged dollar_

_That no-one wants to change_

_I'm a bunch of flowers_

_That need to be arranged_

_Careful what you wish for_

_Careful what you say_

_I've lowered all my armor_

_Risking the pain again._

_I stand under the weight of your words_

_Hoping you won't find me_

_I'm terrified of everything I've heard,_

_Don't swallow_

_I'm standing on the edge of your words_

_That is where you'll find me_

_I'm paralyzed by all the things that hurt_

_But I'm coming_

I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I forced my fists to them tightly, pushing them back. I wasn't about to let Edward find me like this. I spent a majority of the afternoon in his arms after the call from Phil. I wasn't about to spend my night with him wallowing in self pity. But this also brought up the nagging in the back of my mind, telling me I shouldn't let Edward get too close. I really was risking the pain by letting my armor down. I had spent a long time trying to put up my shield, only to have him swipe it away with the blink of his topaz eyes. He held so much power over me, and it scared me. Was I really ready to get hurt all over again? There was no way he could love me...He may have insinuated it earlier, but it was just wishful thinking...Edward could never love something so tainted. He deserved someone beautiful, like him.

This time I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I angrily swiped them from my face. I was so weak. I was pathetic. Phil has not only managed to take away my innocence, he took away any self preservation I could muster. Edward could never love me, that was for certain. But I could pretend for awhile, right? It couldn't hurt me any more than I already was. A little make-believe never hurt anyone right?

The song ended, and I managed to get my tears under control. This time a song from Civil Twilight came on. I instantly thought of Edward and smiled.

_There's one way out and one way in_

_Back to the beginning_

_There's one way back to home again_

_To where I feel forgiven_

_What is this I feel, why is it so real_

_What am I to say_

_It's only love, it's only pain_

_It's only fear, that run through my veins_

_It's all the things you can't explain_

_That make us human_

_I am just an image of something so much greater_

_I am just a picture frame, I am not the painter_

_Where do I begin, can I shed this skin_

_What is this I feel within_

_It's only love, it's only pain_

_It's only fear that runs through my veins_

_It's all the things you can't explain_

_That make us human_

_That make us human_

_That make us human_

_It's only love, it's only pain_

_It's only fear that runs through my veins_

_It's all the things you can't explain_

_That make us human_

_That make us human_

_That make us human_

_Oh that make us human_

Edward was more human than he gave himself credit for.

"Listening to music again huh? Too bad your beautiful voice isn't singing along." I sat up quickly and smiled widely at Edward sitting in my window. I will never get over how beautiful he was.

"How long you been here?"

"Since the start of the song. You have a good taste in music." He smiled and hoped down from the window without a sound.

I blushed and fidgeted with my hands. "Thank you."

"No problem." He chuckled and sat on the bed next to me. "You ready for bed? We have school tomorrow and we don't want a model student such as yourself to be late for class, now do we?"

"Oh yeah, because I am such a model student and all." I laughed. I haven't been so carefree since...I don't want to think about that..._Stupid Bella, stop thinking about sad things when you have Edward with you. _

I quickly turned the radio off and hopped in bed, eager to be in Edward's arms again. He smiled at me and held his arms open, which I gladly took advantage of. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, I rested my head on his chest and sighed contently.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I was thinking, while you were gone...You know how you say I don't see myself very clearly?"

"Yes. You honestly don't." I looked up at him and smiled.

"Well I don't think you see yourself very clearly either."

"Oh really. How so?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You say stupid things...Like your a monster. When really...You are the kindest, nicest, sweetest person I honestly have ever met. A monster is nothing like that. And I also beg to differ on you loosing your humanity. You are not only heartbreakingly beautiful on the outside, Edward. But I can tell, on the inside you are even more beautiful...I'm lucky just to know you."

"Bella...I really am a mon-"

"No. Your not a monster Edward. I think in life...Maybe it takes someone on the outside to see the real you. You say I don't see myself clearly, and its obvious you don't see yourself clearly either. I hope I can open your eyes to the truth someday, Edward. You don't deserve to think poorly of yourself." I yawned deeply and Edward ran his fingers through my hair.

"Rest now Bella..."

"Alright...But, Edward?"

"Hm?"

"It's all the things you can't explain, that makes us human." I felt his cold lips smile into my hair. He didn't say anything, just began humming a beautiful melody. And soon, sleep took over. Dreams did not evade me tonight, but dreams of Phil did. Edward inhabited these dreams. Dreams I never wanted to end.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi Yaw! Here is the chapter you have all been waiting for! Hope I didn't do too badly! And you all totally rock for the comments you leave! It always keeps me writing!  
**

**Chapter song Little House by The Fray**

**Twilight (C) Stephanie Meyer  
**

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Eight

Secrets Revealed

Edward Pov:

_"It's all the things you cant explain, that makes us human."_

Did she see me more human than monster? Could she really see that? She was wrong. I could never be human. I may have wanted to protect her, but how did that make me human? If that van were to crash into her, her blood would have been everywhere. There is no telling what I would have done if her blood was spilt. And because of that, I am more animal than human. It's all the things you cant explain, that makes me a monster...

Bella shifted in her sleep, her small arm was draped around my waist and her head was resting on my chest. How could an angel be so comfortable with a demon? Her even breathing and steady heartbeat signaled she was in a deep sleep. I was more than happy to lay here and watch her sleep. Her nightmares seemed to have finally gone away, and this pleased me. At least now in her dreams she can find peace.

"Edward..." she mumbled in her sleep. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. She was dreaming about me. I reached out and stroked her hair, inhaling her scent. The burning in my throat was more bearable, now that I was becoming accustomed to her.

I held her in my arms until an hour before she was to wake up. I gently slid out from under her and wrapped her in her comforter. I smiled even more when she whimpered at the loss of contact with me. I was going to go home for a change of clothes, and meet her out front like usual. I also needed some time to think about the turn of events that happened this weekend. Not only did Bella know I was a Vampire, but she had absolutely no problem with it. I don't know if I was happy or angry that she was so accepting of what I was. Part of me wanted her to be afraid of me, so I didn't even have the chance to hurt her. The other part of me embraced the fact that she was so accepting, I didn't want to loose her.

I looked back at the sleeping angel in the bed, I could never allow any harm come to her. I took in her scent once more before leaping out of her window and quickly made my way back home. I was greeted by a very eager Alice, who was bouncing around the house. She was excited about me letting her get closer to Bella. But was I doing the right thing? Or was I just getting her attached to, yet another thing, she couldn't have. Could I really give myself to this Human? Yes I wanted to be with her...But was I just causing more pain than I was fixing? Was this the right thing to do...

_Don't you dare second guess this Edward. I want my friend, and I don't need your permission to talk to her. She needs us, Edward. I only see a future with us...I'm afraid if we aren't with her...She won't have a future. _Damn Alice. Like I need that type of guilt? What did she mean without us she didn't have a future? Sure she was accident prone, but what could hurt her in Forks? She was just trying to persuade me to let my guard down. Stupid meddling Pixie.

"Edward, please. I would not lie to you and you know that. We are doing the right thing. Have a little faith in me!" She huffed and crossed her arms. For someone so small, she sure did have some bite to her. I rolled my eyes and darted up the stairs to get dressed.

Once I was dressed, I sat at my Piano. I glided my fingers across the ivory keys and sighed. That melody I had been humming to Bella was running through my head. I closed my eyes and let my fingers dance across the keys. The melody was even more beautiful on the piano than in my head.

Her face was at the forefront of my mind. Her deep pools of warmth, staring at me with intrigue, not fear. Her luscious pouty lips pressed against my cold, hard ones. The way they moved together in harmony. Her soft little hands entangling themselves into my wild hair. Hair. Her mahogany hair cascading down her shoulders, and swaying slightly when she laughed. The soft mumbles she makes when she is sleeping. The feel of her warm body against mine. The scent that washes over my face with each breath she takes. The steady beat of her heart, that has become my beacon, signaling the way home. This girl has officially consumed me. I was drowning in her, and I never wanted to resurface.

The song came to an end, on a haunting note. Knowing I could never truly have this human, no matter how badly I wanted her. She deserved better.

"That was beautiful Edward." Esme sat beside me on the piano bench and placed her hand on my shoulder. She was always my biggest fan. She would often beg me to play for her for hours. And I would always comply. "What's it called?"

"Bella's Lullaby." I smiled at the name. I would hum this to her every night if thats what it took for her. Esme gave me a knowing smile and kissed my cheek.

"Well, it is by far, your most beautiful piece. I'm sure the inspiration for it was even more beautiful?"

"Yes." She knew me too well.

"Eddie, you better go get your human before she thinks you ditched her!" Emmett's laughter filled the room. I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"Call me Eddie again, and I'll tell Rose who really scratched her BMW."

"What!?" Rose's screeching came from the other room.

"Aw, not cool man!" I chuckled and darted for the door before Emmett could tackle me.

----

Bella Pov:

I woke up alone. Of course I woke up alone. Did I really think Edward would truly stay? Was I so lost in my own delusion to think he could possibly want to stay, that he wasn't humoring me? I really need to get my head out of the clouds and back down to reality. Not only was Edward too good for me, he also saw that. He was just protecting me. The human. The silly little girl who actually believed for a moment, when he kissed her, that this was the way it should be. That he really did have feelings for her.

_Stop it Bella. You are being ridiculous. _I chastised myself.

I quickly got out of bed and went through my daily ritual. Shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, stare aimlessly at the clock until Edward arrives. But would he arrive? Maybe I should start walking...

I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and headed out the front door.

"Ready?" His velvety voice rang.

Edward was leaning against the Volvo with a huge smile on his face. My fears instantly vanished, and without telling them to, my feet carried me to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He engulfed me in his arms and chuckled.

"Miss me already hm?" I blushed and nodded. I was making a complete fool of myself. I pulled away and watched as he made it to the other side of the car, in super human speed, and opened it for me. I gaped at him for a moment, then shook it off. I was going to have to get use to that.

We made it to the school quickly, I would have to get use to the speed Edward likes to drive. Edward seemed to be a bit distant today, but I didn't expect anything different. Maybe he regretted kissing me yesterday, maybe he regretted telling me the truth about his family...Or maybe he just regretted me. I wouldn't blame him. I would regret me too.

The morning passed by, and lunch came sooner than expected. I wasn't prepared to see Edward waiting for me outside the door. He smiled down at me and took my books from my arms. I murmured a quiet thank you, and followed behind him with my head down. I felt more self conscious than I had previous days. I knew I would regret letting someone in. I had to get my barriers back up, I couldn't let Edward further into my heart, because he would only break it.

"You are awfully quiet today...is everything okay?" I looked up to find that he had stopped in front of the cafeteria, a look of concern across his face.

"I'm fine." I said quietly, I gave him a reassuring smile, which didn't seem to work. But he didn't push any farther and I walked along side him to our table.

Alice joined us shortly, followed by the rest of the Cullens. Edward gave her a pointed look, but she shrugged and took a seat next to Jasper.

"Hey, Bella! I was wondering, do you wanna hang sometime? We could go shopping!" Alice was practically bouncing in her seat. I half expected Jasper to tie her to it. I tried not to smile at the image.

"Um...Alice, I don't really go shopping." Her smile fell a little. "I mean um...I would love to." I bit my lip and leaned towards Edward. Emmett was sitting a little too close for comfort, and I was afraid the memories would hit me in the middle of the cafeteria.

"Great! We can go this weekend if you like!" I was beginning to wonder if Alice engorged her prey with sugar before she fed from them. The girl had more energy than anyone I have ever known.

"Why?" Rosalie's beautiful voice was filled with distain, and her gaze towards me wasn't any more welcoming. "Why would any of you be interested in communicating with a _human. _" She kept her voice low so only our table could hear.

"Rosie..." Emmett put his arm around her shoulders, trying to calm her.

"Don't Rosie me. I'm sick of this. Edward is putting us all in danger by falling for this girl, and now Alice is going _shopping _with her? Are you all out of your minds?" Her eyes never left me. I sunk into my chair and bit my lip hard. If I kept this up I would make it bleed...which would be a bad idea in this situation.

"Rosalie, if you can't contain yourself, then maybe you should go back to your table." Edward narrowed his eyes, but it didn't seem to phase her.

"I don't mean to cause harm to your family...I-I won't tell anyone..."

"Well the fact that you know anything at all about us is enough to put me on edge. If the Volturri find out about this, we will all be killed!" Emmett tried to hush her once more, but she shoved him away. "Why don't you just kill her now, and get over this little infatuation you have with her Edward. That way we can move on with our lives. I am not about to let some little human get in the way of everything. We have to move enough as it is."

I heard a growl emitting from Edward. I jumped when I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him. I was worried he would actually hurt Rosalie.

"Edward...don't. Rosalie is only trying to protect your family...I don't know what this Volturi is...But if I am the cause of your family getting hurt I-"

"You won't Bella. I have seen it, and you won't tell anyone. I don't foresee any problems with the Volturi either. Rose is just cranky cuz her BMW was scratched by Mr. Muscles over there."

"It was an accident! A raccoon got into the garage, and I was chasing it, and bumped into the table Rose keeps her tools on...It kinda fell against the car... I told you those little bastards piss me off!"

Edward snorted beside me. I could tell his mood has lightened a bit, and I thanked Emmett for that. I still was completely lost on the whole Volturi thing, but it wasn't my place to ask. I was causing this family enough problems.

"Stop trying to change the subject! I am not cranky, I just don't like _her_. None of you seem to grasp the danger of this! I'm not about to let this girl destroy what took us centuries to build!"

I squeaked and let my gaze fall to my lap. Rosalie scared me.

"Rosalie...If you don't sit down, and shut that pretty little mouth of yours...I'll shut it for you..." Everyone looked up in surprise to see a usual happy little Alice, giving Rosalie the look of death. I take it back...Angry Alice scared me. "I already told you, nothing will happen. Now stop scaring Bella!"

"Whatever."

Conversation carried on around me. They tried to include me in, but I was too afraid to anger Rosalie more than I already had. So I kept my mouth shut. Every so often Edward would give me a reassuring smile and would stroke my hand with his thumb. His cool touch automatically calmed me. Near the end of the lunch period, Angela came up to me and asked me if I was up for the movie tonight instead of tomorrow.

"Um...S-Sure I guess..."

"Alright! I'll pick you up at your house at...lets say seven?"

"Okay, but why so late? We still have school tomorrow."

"Didn't you hear? They decided to change the half day into a Teacher workday. So we get tomorrow off! I know, makes no sense to come to school on a Monday, and get Tuesday off...But what do you expect in a small town?"

"Um...Okay. Seven then." Angela smiled at me and bid the rest of the table a good day, and left.

"Hanging out with Webber tonight huh? Aw, too bad. Now Eddie here will be lonely!" Emmett laughed and dodged the water bottle Edward chucked at his head.

Edward smiled down at me and I blushed. He wouldn't want to spend another night with me anyhow. I was a little on the boring side. Hell, who was I kidding. I owned boring island.

"Remember what I said about calling me Eddie, Em?"

"Yeah, but Rosie already knows about the car now. So you don't have any blackmail!" Emmett smirked triumphantly.

"No, not with Rose. But I do know who broke Esme's vase while wrestling with Jasper in the house, like she always tells us _not _to."

"You're cruel man..."

"I will keep it to myself, but if you insist on calling me Eddie..."

"I get it! No Eddie jokes...until you run out of black mail. Can I call you Mr. Ed?" The table erupted in laughter, even I couldn't hold it back.

"Not unless you wanna end up a pile of ash in the front yard..."

"Got it...No Mr. Ed." He snorted.

The rest of the day passed quickly, and the next thing I knew, I was in the Volvo getting ready to part ways with Edward. Why did time pass by so quickly when I was with him? I rather it slow down.

"Make sure you have fun tonight, Okay? And stay away from moving vehicles please." Edward gave me his crooked smile, I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"No getting hit by cars, got it. And as far as having fun...I'll try." I didn't want to tell him how much I rather be spending the night with him again. I'm getting too far into this...It's like I'm drowning in him...Did I want this? More heartache? This was not the time to dwell on it. I smiled at him, unconvincingly, and slid out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, Edward. I'll um...See you Wednesday then?"

"I was hoping to see you sooner than that but if you're not up for that, then I understand."

"No no, I am..." Wait a sec...Am I? Didn't I just tell myself I'm getting too far into this..."I just didn't know if you would want to spend more time with me. I'm pretty boring."

"You're a silly girl. You are far from boring remember? I'll stop by tomorrow...You will most likely be tired when you arrive home, and I have to hunt tonight..."

"Is that why your eyes are almost black today? Because you need to hunt?" I tried to keep my voice down, incase anyone was nearby. Edward smiled sullenly and nodded. "That makes sense. Well I'll see you tomorrow then...Have a good hunt? Or should I say enjoy your meal." I laughed but quickly stopped, afraid I had offended him. Edward just smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up human." I smiled widely at him. It was amazing how I could be so afraid of him, and at the same time I was able to be myself around him. The self I haven't been able to be in a long time. I missed laughing. "But seriously Bella, be careful Okay? I don't want anything to happen to you." I felt heat rise up in my cheeks and nodded.

"I'll remember to steer clear of any moving vehicles."

"Good. Goodnight my Bella."

I bit my lip, and felt my heart stutter. _My Bella? _"Goodnight Edward." I stepped back and watched as the Volvo sped away.

----

By the time seven rolled around, I was already done with my homework and the house was spotless. I needed something to take my mind off the heartbreakingly beautiful vampire that seems to possess my every thought. I told Charlie I would be back after the movie was over, he waved me off. I sat on the front porch and waited. I wanted to get out of the house after cleaning it all day, and the cold air reminded me of Edward. _There I go again..._

Moments later Ben pulled up in front of my house and honked the horn. Angela waved me over and I hopped in the back seat.

"Hi Bella! Thanks for coming with us. I hope you like dramas!"

"Thanks for inviting me." I said quietly. "Yeah, dramas are fine." I chewed on my lip as Ben pulled away from the house. I was beyond nervous. Sure Angela was a very nice girl, but I didn't know her. The only reason I was going along with this is because Alice thought it was a good idea. The fact Ben was with us made me even more nervous. I should have stayed at home.

When we pulled in front of the movie theatre, my nerves were the same as they were when we left.

"What movie are we seeing again Babe?" Ben opened the door for Angela and helped her out. He opened the door for me but I refused his hand, giving him an apologetic look. I didn't feel like a melt down tonight.

"Well, its based off of one of my favorite novels, Speak." Speak? Never read it... "Hey Bella, you know what's funny? The girl in the movie trailer kinda looks like you. Pretty cool, huh?" I nodded and followed closely behind them, feeling more than a little out of place.

I waited until they got their drinks and snacks, they asked if I wanted any but I declined. We finally made it into the theatre. Angela and Ben wanted to sit up close, I usually sat in the very back, but they paid for my ticket, so the I could at least sit where they wanted. I sat next to Angela and chewed on my lip nervously. The lights dimmed and the chatter ceased. I sat quietly, trying to give the movie my full attention, and block out the nerves flooding my body.

The movie started out with a girl starting high school, after she lost all of her friends. The more I watched the movie, the more I felt a connection to the character.

_"All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. No one really cares what you have to say."_

_"I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice if I just stopped talking."_

I know it was just a fictional character in a movie, but it was good to know I wasn't the only one who felt that way. The movie continued on. Every so often I would hear quiet sniffles from Angela, and some of the others around me. But I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. Or at least until Melinda, the character, had a flashback. Melinda was fighting back, while being held down and being sexually assaulted. As soon as the scene came to play, I was fighting with all my might to keep the memories at bay. Why on earth did we have to come see _this _movie. Why couldn't I just move on. Why did the past always come back to haunt me. Then I got my answer, from Melinda herself.

_"I should probably tell someone. Just...anyone. Get it over with. Blurt it out."_

_"It happened. There's no avoiding it. No forgetting."_

I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I excused myself and ran out of the theatre. The halls were nearly empty, aside from a group of guys on the far end. I leaned against the wall and broke into sobs. I had to get out of here. I couldn't watch the rest of the movie, I couldn't face my own past. I wanted to forget, I wanted to block it out, but there was no forgetting.

"Something wrong miss?" The group of men began approaching me. My eyes widened and I swallowed hard, shaking my head.

"Aw, don't be that way..." The tallest of the men stepped forward and touched my cheek.

I froze.

_Phil slapped me across the face, the blunt force of it knocked me into the wall, and I crumpled to the floor. I wanted to run. I wanted to jump up and escape. But every time I tried to get away, he would make it last longer, and hurt more. So I gave up fighting a long time ago. _

"Come on, why don't you come have a little fun with us." The second man grabbed my by my wrist, and the tall burly one opened the door to a near by janitor closet. I screamed loudly, but the one holding my wrist clamped his hand over my mouth, dragging me into the janitor closet. All I could think about was Edward and how I would never see him again. All these years I had managed to survive Phil, only to end up dying in a janitor's closet.

"Hold her down, and cover her mouth. This won't hurt too bad little lady..." The tallest one stalked towards me, while the burly one held both of my arms in one hand, and the other covering my mouth. I was screaming uncontrollably. The visions of Phil flashing over me, the feel of his grimy hands on my skin, the sound of his disgustingly husky voice, the feel of his breath on my neck. The tears wouldn't stop. No one was here to save me this time. This was it.

"Get your filthy hands off of her!" The velvety voice was laced with venom. A menacing growl engulfed the small closet. I should have been scared, but that growl was my sanctuary.

"Who the hell are-" The tallest man was cut off when Edward grabbed him by the neck and threw him into the man holding me down. They both crashed into the shelves filled with cleaning supplies behind me. They moaned in pain, cursing Edward. I tried to move, I tried to stop the tears. All I could do was look around frantically until my eyes landed on him. He saved me, yet again. He was my angel. And I was ready to tell him.

----

Edward Pov:

I couldn't help it. Knowing she was going to be so far away from me made me anxious. So I followed them. When they reached the theatre, I crept in when the lights were off, and sat in the very back, watching Bella from a distance. I hadn't paid any attention to the movie, what so ever. All I knew was at some point, Bella couldn't take it and ran out of the theatre. I left my seat some time afterwards, not wanting it to look like I was following her. When I stepped through the door, my anger flared. Bella's screams couldn't be heard by human ears, but to me, they were clear as day.

I ripped the closet door off its hinges and threw it behind me. A large man was holding _My Bella _down, while the other prepared to take advantage of her. There were others near by, but ran off as soon as I had the door detached from the wall.

"Get your filthy hands off of her!" I couldn't hold back the growl emanating from my chest. I wanted these bastards to know what a monster really looked like. What their death would look like.

"Who the hell are-" I wasted no time in hoisting the piece of trash off the ground and throwing him into his disgusting friend. I would have taken the time out to rip them limb for limb, if it wasn't for the whimpering heap on the floor. My poor Bella was looking around for me frantically. Once she saw me, her screaming calmed, but her breathing was still erratic, and her body was shaking. I scooped her up in my arms and shushed her.

"Bella...Shhhh...It's alright. I'm here...You're safe." I kissed her forehead and wiped her tears. She had calmed down a bit, but not enough for my liking. Her heart was pounding loudly against her chest. I was afraid she was going into shock. I had to get her out of here. I had to get her to Carlisle.

Ben and Angela emerged from the theatre and instantly ran to me and the sobbing Bella in my arms.

"Oh my god! What happened!" Angela asked frantically.

"Bella is not feeling well. I ran into her in the hallway and she collapsed. I think I am going to take her home, have my father look at her." I didn't wait for them to respond, before I ran, at a human pace, to the Volvo and slid her into the passenger seat.

We were on the road, way faster than the speed limit allowed, in no time. Bella was still unchanging, her heart was still erratic. I was beginning to get really worried. She was only a human, her body could only take so much shock.

"Bella?"

Nothing but her heartbeat and frantic breathing.

"Bella, can you hear me?"

No response.

"Bella please, answer me!"

She nodded, and turned to look at me. Her eyes filled with anguish and pain. It broke my frozen heart.

"Bella, I'm taking you back to my house, Okay? Carlisle will check to make sure you are alright. I don't want you going into shock. Okay?"

"Y-Yes-ss." Her body was shaking. I reached over and grabbed her hand, which seemed to ease the shaking a bit.

"I want to know what happened when we get there alright?" She nodded.

The ride was quiet, but I kept a close eye on Bella. Her breathing was nearly back to normal by the time we reached the house. I jumped out of the car and appeared on Bella's side in a flash. Scooping her up in my arms, as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Alice met us out front, in a panic.

"I tried to call you Edward!"

"I had the phone off Alice...I think I got to her in time. We need to get her inside."

"Carlisle is waiting in the living room." I nodded and hurried Bella into the living room, gently laying her on the couch, but she wouldn't let go of me.

"Bella, you gotta let Carlisle look you over...I'll be right here."

"N-No!...Don't l-let go..." I looked up to Carlisle who simply nodded. I picked her back up and took a seat on the couch, holding her close to me.

"Alright Bella. I'm here...We need you to tell us what happened, okay?"

She didn't say anything. I could feel the tension in her body.

"Bella." Carlisle's voice was calm and soothing. "Bella, did anyone touch you tonight?"

"N-No...just grabbed my w-wrist and...Pulled me into the closet..." I gritted my teeth almost painfully. I was going to go back and kill them. They may not have touched Bella inappropriately tonight, but that was their very intention.

"Edward, no. They will be found in the closet and taken to jail. The police have a warrant out for them anyway." I nodded. Didn't mean I didn't want to kill them myself.

"H-How did you know...W-Where I was?" Bella's beautiful brown eyes stared back at me. I stroked her quivering lips with my fingers. I was so glad she was safe.

"I followed you. I had a bad feeling when I dropped you off. I was going to be scarce until you needed me." I hoped she didn't think ill of me for following her. But I couldn't let her go off by herself. Yes she was with two people from school, but they were human. They couldn't protect her. She needed me. As I needed her.

"Thank you, Edward..."

"Bella, can I get you anything dear?" Esme approached Bella carefully. Bella looked up at her and gave a small half smile.

"No thank you Mrs Cullen." Esme smiled warmly and patted her arm gently.

"Well if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask any of us, alright?" I could see the Mother going into action as soon as Bella came in. Esme was waiting impatiently beside Carlisle, just waiting to strike and nurture Bella. It warmed my heart.

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you."

"Please, dear. Call me Esme." I smiled brightly at Esme, who winked at me.

"Okay, Esme." Bella's voice was rough and barely audible from crying. I rocked her in my arms and kissed her forehead softly. She seemed to relax in my arms. "Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I'm ready to tell you..."

----

Bella Pov:

Could I tell him? Could I really subject myself to this, especially after I have had a glimmer of hope, that Edward could care for me? Yes. He has saved me twice, and deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know why he is too good for me, if he didn't know already.

"Remember I told you Phil hurt me?" I swallowed hard. I knew the other Cullens could hear me. Edward had explained one night that their hearing and sight is highly enhanced. But I didn't care. I knew their secret, so they could know mine.

"Yes...Bella you don't have to tell me if you're not ready." Edward's eyes only held concern, and it gave me courage.

"No...I want to tell you." I could see Esme and Alice looking at me with compassion. Carlisle was trying to be discreet, and not make me feel bombarded. I knew the other Cullens were most likely near by.

"Phil and my Mother first met when I was in Middle School. They got along very well, very quickly. Within a year they were married, and Phil moved in with us. When they were dating he seemed to be a very nice man. Very attentive to my Mother, very kind to me. He treated me like his daughter at one point...Until they were married, and my Mother started taking night classes..." I willed the tears to go away, but they fell freely.

I could feel Edward tense up. His arms tightened around me, but not enough to hurt. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes. It would be easier to say if I couldn't see their eyes.

"Phil first began to make vulgar comments. I didn't think anything of it at first, thinking maybe he was just teasing me. But it made me uncomfortable. But then he started being verbally abusive...That lasted about a month until..." I bit my lip to keep my voice from shaking. Edward ran soothing motions across my back, whispering that I was okay, in my ear. I grabbed his shirt for support and took a deep breath.

"One night, Mom went to night school as always. I was in my bedroom reading, when Phil burst through my door, grabbed my book and threw it against the wall." My voice cracked, and my breathing was all I could hear throughout the house. "He...then he..." I sobbed into Edward's chest, clutching his shirt tightly in my hand. I was probably wrinkling it, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Edward wrapped his arms around me, his whole body rigid.

"Tell me Bella...I need to know...What did that bastard do to you..." His voice was menacing, and dangerous.

I took a deep breath to calm myself enough to speak. This was it. Edward would leave me as soon as I said the word. It was nice while it lasted.

"He raped me." I whispered, unable to say it loudly, but the others obviously heard it. Because I soon heard several gasps, and a loud crash from upstairs. Rosalie was at the bottom of the stairs in seconds, staring at me with wide eyes. I let go of Edward's shirt and tried to get out of his arms, knowing he was disgusted with me now. He wouldn't let me go. His grip tightened and a growl escaped his lips. It was growing louder by the moment, and my heart was beating wildly against my chest. Was he so disgusted with me he was going to kill me?

----

Edward Pov:

"That _bastard!" _I saw red. I have never felt this type of anger in my life. I wanted nothing more than to crush his skull in my hands and listen to his screams. "Bella...I will _never _let that monster lay a hand on you again, ever!" I could see fear in her eyes. Was I scaring her? "If he ever comes near you again...If he ever tries some form of contact with you again...I will not hesitate to rip him limb from limb until he begs for me to kill him...That I promise you..." Alice shot me a glare, but I didn't give a damn. I was too angry. If it wasn't for having Bella in my arms I would have ran all the way to Arizona, knocked on his door and dragged his sorry ass out and show him the meaning of pain. He would regret ever touching Bella the way he did. He will regret ever meeting her.

"Bella...What about your Mother, dear? Did you tell her?" Esme sat beside us and stroked Bella's hair. I held back a growl from her, I was very possessive right now and even though it was just Esme, I didn't want anyone but me touching Bella.

"I told her...She slapped me and told me to stop making up lies about Phil. I would show her the bruises or cuts...One time I had a gash on my head from him ramming my head into the wall...But she said I was inflicting pain upon myself to frame Phil..." Her voice cracked again. I began to grind my teeth together, resisting the urge to rip things to shreds.

"What the hell kind of Mother does that!" Rosalie shouted and joined us in the living room. "Why the hell would you inflict pain upon yourself to frame some trash like Phil!" Bella stared at her wide eyed. I knew fully well why Rosalie was reacting like this. We all knew her past. But it wasn't our story to tell.

"I don't know...But thats why she shipped me off here. I was interfering with her marriage...But its the best thing she has ever done for me..."

"Is that why you are uncomfortable with men touching you, Bella?" Carlisle crouched down to Bella's level, but kept his distance as to not make her nervous.

"Yes...Whenever a guy touches me...I get flashbacks of the times Phil would rape me...Edward is the only guy who has been able to touch me without the memories coming back...He calms me." Her cheeks flushed and I stroked them gently.

"So...Phil has done this to you more than once?" Esme handed Bella some tissues. Why we had tissues I haven't a clue.

"Yes...Many times..." I growled loudly. Jasper finally came down to join us, and we were hit with a wave of calmness. But nothing could calm me right now. I gave him a thankful look, because Bella began calming down instantly. "Edward...If you don't want to...hang out with me anymore...I understand." I looked at her, absolutely appalled she would say such a thing.

"What are you talking about, Bella? Why would I no longer be interested in you?"

"Because...I'm t-tainted...You're too good f-for me..."

"Esme, everyone...Can you give us a few minutes?" They all nodded and left the room quickly. I picked Bella up and moved her to where she was facing me. "Look at me." She lifted her gaze to me reluctantly, tears brimming her eyes. "Bella...I care for you...Just because some bastard took from you, what was not his to take...Does not mean, in any way, that I don't want to be with you...Bella, what Phil did is unforgivable. It was not his right to take away such a gift...Something that special should be given freely, not taken without consent...You are not tainted. I don't want to hear that from you again. Do you understand?"

"Yes...But...You deserve better Edward...N-Not that you are interested in me..."She sighed and dipped her gaze. "I'm just making a fool of myself..."

"Bella...Please don't look away from me...I need to see your eyes..." She looked up and bit her lip. I reached out and pulled it free from her teeth, caressing it with my finger. "Bella...I love you..." She gasped and tears filled her eyes. "I do...And I want to protect you...I will never let any harm come to you..." I leaned in and brushed my lips to hers. She held perfectly still, and I smiled against her lips, she remembered. I pressed my lips to hers, kissing her tenderly. It wasn't like our first kiss. Our first kiss nearly resulted in my more manly urges to kick in. This kiss, was all about showing her how much I loved her. When we parted, she had a smile on her face, which mine quickly followed suit.

"I love you too Edward..." I swear, if my heart could beat, it would be rapid and my cold, colorless cheeks would be flushed. She loved me...This beautiful, angel loved me. I would cherish her forever. I would protect her, I would love her, I would worship her. She was _mine._

I kissed her forehead and sighed. "Alright, Alice. You can come in now."

The room was soon filled with a high pitched screech as Alice bounced into the room and engulfed Bella and I in a huge hug. I think Alice was almost as happy as I was about this prospect.

"I love you too Bella! We are going to be like sisters!" Alice plopped down on the couch next to us, wrapping an arm around Bella's shoulders. "And we will help you with your PTSD. I can see the future as you know, and I see you recovering well." She smiled and Bella hugged her tightly.

"Thank you Alice..."

"What are sisters for!"

"Hey...Bella?" Rosalie entered the room timidly.

"Yes Rosalie?" I could hear the apprehension in Bella's voice. I glared at Rose. I didn't want her to upset Bella anymore than she already was.

"Can I talk to you..?"


	10. Chapter 10

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Nine

Conversations and Shopping Trips

Bella Pov:

Rosalie glanced at Edward, her expression unreadable. The two of them must have had a silent conversation, because Edward nodded and sighed deeply.

"I am going for a quick hunt, okay Bella? I won't be far, and I will be back shortly." Irrational fear overwhelmed me, and Edward must have noticed it. He held me to his chest and placed loving kisses on top of my head. "Its alright, Love. I promise you I will be right back. Rosalie just wants to talk to you, and Alice is in the other room. She can hear you very easily. If at any time you get too upset, let her know and she will come get me. Okay?"

I nodded and shyly kissed his cheek. Edward beamed brightly at me and stood from his place on the couch. He gave a pointed look in Rosalie's direction and exited the room.

Rosalie took Edward's seat and gave me a sorrowful look. But this look was not one of pity, it was of understanding.

"First off Bella...I would like to apologize for the awful way I have treated you. Its really nothing against you, its just how I am with everyone. I should have known you would not reveal our secret, its just, this is the only family I have. So I am rather protective of them..." She trailed off, her gaze focused on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I felt the shame creep up on me again. The shame that Phil put there. I wasn't worth looking at, nor her apology.

"Its alright, Rosalie. I understand, really I do. With a family as wonderful as yours, I would be doing everything I can to protect them as well." It was true. The Cullens were wonderful people. Vampire or not, they have treated me better than any human has. And only in the short time I have known them.

"Thank you for understanding..." I simply nodded and brought my knees to my chest. The shame was like a fire in my chest. It consumed me. Charring my perfectly crafted numbness. The numbness that has been keeping the shame a bay. I had opened the floodgates, and here comes the pain.

"Bella, would you like some help?" Jasper stood in the doorway. His face looked contorted with grief. Grief that was not his to be burdened with.

"No thank you Jasper." I spoke quietly. Jasper gave me a sympathetic look and walked out of the room, leaving me with Rosalie once again.

"Don't, Bella. I know what you are doing, and you can't let it control you." She knew what I was doing? How could she know... "Bella, I have felt what you are feeling now...Has anyone ever told you the story behind my transformation?" I shook my head no. I was never told anyone's reason for transformation, aside from Edward. Rosalie took a deep, unnecessary breath and sighed heavily. "Alright. I was turned in 1933. I was the daughter of a wealthy family."

I sat quietly, but nodded whenever Rosalie would pause, encouraging her to continue. "I was raised to believe money and beauty could get you anywhere in life. I was very vain, and still can be to this day. My parents always wanted me to marry into money, someone who could take care of me. My father worked at a bank. Thats where I met my fiance, Royce King." Rosalie kept her eyes on me, and I tried not to squirm under her gaze. I nodded and brought my lip to my mouth, capturing it with my teeth. "Royce was a handsome man with a lot of money, that was really all he had going for him. We were engaged quickly and I was rather excited to become his wife. I had always dreamed of a family. I have always wanted to be a mother, beyond anything else." She smiled whimsically at me, her eyes seemed so far away, like she was reliving her past life.

"One night, I was walking home from visiting a friend, and came across Royce and a group of his friends. Royce was drunk off his ass, and so were the other men. Royce began to 'show off' his beautiful fiance. To make a long story short, Royce and his friends raped and beat me until I was near death." If vampires could shed tears, I was sure Rosalie would have at that moment. So I shed them for her. I felt her pain, and she felt mine. At that moment, I had felt closer to Rosalie than I ever thought possible. "Thats when Carlisle found me. He found me, changed me, and took me in."

"What ever happened to Royce?" My voice quivered with emotion. I appreciated what Rosalie was doing. I knew from experience, that it was hard to talk about. She was so brave, braver than I could ever be.

"Shortly after I was changed...Now I am not proud of this, Bella. But I was so angry. Angry that my opportunity to have children, and be a mother was taken away from me. And it was Royce's fault...I killed them, Bella. But I did not drink their blood. I could not bring myself to have any part of those men inside me. Their blood was tainted, as tainted as they made me feel." I didn't blame Rosalie. There had been times where I thought about killing Phil...All I would have to do is wait until he was asleep, and then stab him in the heart. He damaged mine, so I could destroy his...But I could never do that to my Mother. Nor do I think I ever had the courage to do it. I was too afraid of him. Afraid of becoming more tainted than I already was. I lost my innocence one rainy night in Arizona, there was no need to completely obliterate it with someone else's blood on my hands. But I was glad Rosalie got her closure.

"You see, Bella. The very beauty I was raised to worship. The very beauty that led me to Royce, sealed my fate. And now I am stuck in this body. Stuck in an everlasting beauty that I would give up in a second if that meant I was able to be a mother. I don't have the ability to die, to have a normal relationship with a human, to walk in the sun without causing suspicion, to grow old and watch my children grow...All I have is my beauty, and Emmett. So now you see, when I may seem vain, or even a cold hearted bitch to some..." Her shoulders shook with silent, tearless sobs.

"Rosalie...You are not a bitch, nor do I see you as vain. I want to thank you...for sharing your story with me. It really means a lot to me...You are a very brave woman, and I think I see you more clearly now than before. You are stronger than I could ever be...And I am glad to have known you." tears were flowing down my face. Rosalie has suffered more than a person should have to. This whole family, I had a feeling, has been through more suffering than I could imagine. I rubbed my eyes furiously, ridding them of my tears. Rosalie then did something I wasn't expecting. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close. I quickly returned the embrace and smiled weakly.

"Thank you Bella..."

"Hey, Bella Bear, don't hog my wife!" Emmett's booming laughter filled the room, and his big form plopped down beside Rosalie.

"We were having a moment, you big lug!"

"Exactly...A very intimate, non lesbian moment...Can I bring in the mud and have you two roll in it? Then you can continue." I blushed deeply and Rosalie smacked him in the back of the head. "What? Can't blame a guy for trying!"

"Picture my Bella rolling around in mud, in nothing but a bikini again...And I will have to kill you." My head whipped around to see a very flustered Edward, standing in the doorway. He walked slowly over to me and held out his hand. "Come, love. I'll show you where you can sleep tonight."

"Sleep? But Char-"

"Already took care of it!" Alice bounced into the room holding a small overnight bag. "I got you some Pajamas, and toiletries for the morning! We are going to have so much fun tomorrow, Bella!"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah! I already called Charlie and told him that we ran into you at the movies, and I begged you to stay the night. He said it was alright and for you to have fun, and that he will see you when he gets home tomorrow night. We are going to have a blast! We can go shopping, and Rose and I can do your hair...Oh! And we should totally do-"

"Alice! Chill out before I drag your husband in here to sedate you..." Edward smirked and took my hand, gently pulling me to his side. "She will decide what she wants to do tomorrow, when tomorrow gets here. Until then, I am going to take her to my room for her to get some rest." He snatched the bag from an irritated Alice and pulled me with him. I glanced back and mouthed another 'Thank You' to Rosalie. She smiled and nodded.

Edward pointed out the rooms as we made our way to his. He showed me Rosalie and Emmett's room, Alice and Jasper's room, Carlisle's study, and another assortment of rooms, before we made it to his door.

"I uh...I don't own a bed so...But the couch is big enough for two people to lay on it so you should have enough room...Sorry...I don't sleep so I-"

"Edward, its alright." I smiled warmly and laced my fingers with his. "I could even sleep on the floor and be comfortable."

"You will do no such thing! I will just have a bed ordered and put in my room. Y-You know...In case you ever stay with us again...That is, if you ever wanted to-"

"Edward, you don't have to order a bed for my benefit. You don't sleep, and it would just be a waste of money to buy one. If I do stay with you again some night, the couch will do just as well as it will tonight."

"I will not have my Bella sleeping on a couch. I am only allowing this for tonight. From now on you will have a bed while you stay here."

"There is no arguing with you is there?" I smiled and sat on the couch as Edward chuckled.

"No, not when you're involved." He sat beside me and gathered me in his arms. I rested my head against his shoulder and took in his scent. Honey, lilac, and sun. I had never felt more at home than I did at that moment. I yawned deeply into his shirt, letting my eyes flutter closed. I could fall asleep just like this if I had it my way. "You should change, and then get some rest, love. You have had a hard night." He kissed the top of my head and handed me the overnight bag and left the room for me to get dressed.

I stared at the pajamas in confusion, these weren't mine. The tags were still on them, and I realized Alice must have bought them. I would have to pay her back later. I slid on the black silk top and Capri bottoms and shoved my old cloths back into the bag. They were rather comfy, even more comfortable than my usual holy sweat pants and tank-top. I would have to thank Alice later.

"You decent?" I giggled slightly when Edward peeked his head through the door with his hand over his eyes.

"Yes." He smiled warmly at me when he lowered his hand, and his eyes met mine. "You will stay with me, right?" I brought my lip between my teeth and fiddled with the hem of the silk top. How did he always keep me so flustered?

"Of course. I am yours all night." I blushed and thanked him quietly.

"Edward? I found some blankets and pillows for Bella." Esme appeared in the entry way and smiled at me. I really liked her, she was so motherly. Something I have been craving for awhile now. "Is there anything we can get you, dear?"

"No thank you Ma'am. You have all done more than enough for me as it is. Thank you." Edward took the blankets and pillows from her and started making up the couch.

"Call me Esme, dear. And we are glad to have you in our home, I'm sorry we were not more prepared. Next time we will be!" She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. I stood frozen for a moment, but quickly returned the embrace, holding back tears. I have gotten more physical contact today, than I had in a long time. "We are always here for you, Bella. Sleep well, sweetie." She released me and winked at Edward, before walking back out of the room.

"You ready?" Edward gently took my hand and led me to the couch, where I laid down and snuggled up against him as he enveloped me in his arms. "Esme seems to have really taking a liking to you. She is very maternal, so you are practically her daughter already." He laughed and stroked my hair. "The whole family seems to like you. Getting Rosalie to like anyone is near impossible."

I buried my face into his chest and breathed him in greedily. "Rosalie is actually a very nice person, from what I have gathered. I understand why she comes off the way she does. She just wants to protect the ones she loves." I closed my eyes and draped my arm around him. "She also is putting up her protective walls, so she can't be hurt anymore than she already has been. Just like I have." I was emotionally and physically drained, I felt myself begin to doze off. "But for some reason...When I am around you...My walls come tumbling down..." I whispered as the blackness took hold of me.

----

Edward Pov:

As I held my Angel in my arms, watching her sleep peacefully, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the mass of emotions that flooded me. I was deeply in love, for one...Happy for the first time in...well forever...Guilty for feeling such happiness, when Bella is filled with so much hurt...And angry beyond all belief, with a side of homicidal maniac vampire...

I felt guilty for leaving Bella with Rosalie earlier, but if I didn't walk away for a moment, I would frighten Bella. I had gone out into the woods, just far enough so I was out of hearing distance for Bella. I unleashed the rage filling me. I unrooted several trees, and released a loud, blood curdling snarl I had been suppressing. The very thought of anyone touching Bella without her permission sent me into unbelievable rage. I was seeing red, and the only thing I wanted to do was hunt down the pathetic excuse for a human being, and rip him limb from limb.

No. That would be too good for him, too quick. I would slowly destroy everything that meant something to him, and then slowly dismantle his body. His blood would not tempt me. I wouldn't want something that putrid in my body. I would make him beg for death, but withhold it until he feels the ultimate pain imaginable. Perhaps allow my venom to course through his veins, setting his flesh on fire. A fire he could not extinguish. Then, right before his heart beats its last, right before the pain beings to subside, I destroy him. I would not give him the satisfaction of feeling a hint of relief. He would feel the agonizing pain until the very end. The imaginary flames would end, but soon he would rot in hell, where larger, more painful flames would engulf his body.

And he deserved every second of it, for touching my Bella.

I know if Bella knew how I truly felt about what she had revealed to us tonight, it would scare her. But that just goes to show, that I really am a monster. I have killed people before, but have stopped and tried to turn my 'life' around. But at that moment, the very second the word 'raped' slipped from her lips, my murderous past was rearing its ugly head. If it hadn't been for Alice flashing a vision in my head, over how distraught Bella would be, the guilt she would feel, I would have killed Phil without a second thought. I had been planning the best way to go about covering his disappearance, when Alice flashed me the vision. I knew I couldn't do that to Bella. No matter how badly I wanted Phil dead. But if he ever tried anything with her again, I would kill him. And that was a promise I would keep. The bastard does not even deserve to breath the same air as her. If I had it my way, he wouldn't be breathing at all.

_That can be arranged..._

Bella's quiet murmuring broke me out of my reverie. She buried her face into my chest and sighed contently. Even after all that has happened today, I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face. After all she has been through tonight, knowing she felt safe in my arms meant the world to me. She meant the world to me. And I would put her protection above all else. She was my life now.

_And she 'loved' me..._

_Edward, how is she doing? _Alice's thoughts filled my head. I lowered my voice to an octave too low for humans, but loud enough for Alice to hear on the other side of the door.

"As well as can be expected. Thanks, you know, for stopping me earlier."

_Yeah well, you better keep your anger in check around Bella. She seems pretty fragile. _

"No shit, Alice. I know. I don't know what came over me." Who am I kidding. I know what came over me. The reasonable anger any man would feel when finding out the woman he loved had been raped. What was I supposed to do? Tell her that shit happens and to suck it up? I don't think so. I had a right to be livid.

_Keep it up and I won't let you play with us tomorrow. _

"Alice, what are you going to subject my poor Bella to?" I smiled to myself thinking of all the tortures Bella faced. Shopping with Alice. That was like some messed up chinese torture method.

_I will not be 'subjecting' her to anything. I will simply show her that this family is here for her! We all will, in our own little way. I, of course, will take her shopping. _I smirked and chuckled, knowing my sister all too well. _Rosalie will come with us. It will be a girl thing, so you have to stay home. _

Now that bit of information, I did not like. "Alice." I warned. I heard her snort and could practically hear her roll her eyes at me.

_Don't be such a baby. You can handle being away from her for a few hours! Stop hogging Bella! She is my friend too!_

"Alice, after tonight...I don't know if I _can _be away from her, for any amount of time." I was starting to sound a little on the possessive side...Okay, a lot on the possessive side. But can you blame me?

_Edward, we will take good care of her. I just want her to know she can always come to me. And buy her a complete new wardrobe, seeing as the girl has great curves and refuses to show them off!_

"She may not feel up to that Alice. You know...after what that..." I couldn't even think of a word suited for that kind of evil.

_I am not going to skank her up Edward! Just try to give her a little more confidence. She will be all yours when we return. We will wake her up early tomorrow, so you have enough time with her. Okay, Mr. Greedy pants? _

"I am not being greedy!...And...thank you Alice. I think she might need a little girl time. Regardless on how badly I want to keep her all to myself, I think she may need you...Even Rosalie. She seems to have taking a liking to her. God only knows why."

_I heard that Bitch! _Rosalie's angry voice echoed in my mind. I smiled to myself. I always received that kind of reaction from her.

_Well I take back what I said about her being all yours when we return her...It seems everyone in the family wants to get to know Bella. She may never want to come back again at this rate! _

"Don't even joke about that Alice!...What do you mean everyone wants to get to know Bella..."

_It seems they all want to contribute to making her feel more welcomed here. To help bring her out of her shell. Don't worry Edward. No one will do anything to scare her off. From what I can see, tomorrow will go smoothly. I even think Bella will warm up to everyone by the end of the day! _

"Well I hope so. But remind the others...Well basically Emmett, not to touch her. I am sure Carlisle and Jasper already grasp that male touch frightens Bella...But I don't think Emmett fully understands."

_Already got the talk from Carlisle, dude! Too bad though. I was gonna give our little Bella Bear a bear hug!_

"Emmett, she is not ready for that...Bella Bear?" I scoffed at the little nickname. She was definitely not a bear...she was an Angel. But I suppose Bella Bear will do with Emmett.

_I know, I know! Besides...Rosalie will hurt me if I make Bella cry. And she said she will hold out se-_

"Emmett! I don't want to know about your sex life! I have to listen to your perverted brain enough as it is!" I could hear his booming laughter from here, followed by a smack to the head, who I assumed to be Rosalie.

"Ow, Babe! What was that for!" Yep...Rosalie.

"Bella is sleeping you big lug! Keep your voice down."

Bella squirmed in my arms, but quickly settled her head against my chest. She murmured my name softly and her breathing evened out again. I smiled and brushed my lips to her temple. She really was my angel.

_Bright an early in the morning, Edward. I'll take care of her._

"I know you will Alice."

_We are happy for you, son. But be careful with her._

"I will Carlisle...Thanks." Alice was right. It seemed everyone in the family was supportive of Bella. I knew Esme would instantly love Bella. But I didn't know the whole family would embrace my relationship with her...Well maybe it was just her they were embracing, and not our relationship. Oh well. We are a package deal now. There is no Me without Bella. I am just glad they accept that. Or they soon would.

But what did this mean for the future? Sure Alice saw Bella like us...But I couldn't allow that. I would simply enjoy the time we have together, meaning I would stay by her side until she dies an old woman, the way things are supposed to be. And then, I would go to the Volturi to handle my passing as well. I know I would not meet Bella at the "pearly gates" but, like I said before. There is no me without Bella. When her time comes to an end, so would my limitless existence. Now that I have a taste of Heaven, I can't live without it. It would be too painful. Beyond any pain I could fathom.

Hours past, and I spent every minute watching the beautiful creature in my arms. Her mumbling was not always coherent, but when it was, it was usually my name. This made my heart swell, knowing that she dreamt of me, and it wasn't a nightmare. When she would stir, I would hum her lullaby to her, and she would settle against me. How was it possible to be so in love with someone, you barely knew? All I knew, is it would cause physical pain to be parted from her now. I was in love with this girl, and there was no turning back now.

----

Bella Pov:

I blinked through the haze of the early morning. My eyes felt heavy and stung, I brought my fists to them and rubbed my eyes to rid the pain. Cold lips brushed across my forehead, snapping my attention to the greek god holding me in his arms. Edward smiled down at me and ran his fingers down my cheek, which was now flushed.

"Good morning, Love. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." I croaked. My throat felt like someone had taken sandpaper to it. It was rough and hoarse from crying the night before. Edward furrowed his brows in concern and lifted me from his lap, and held me to his chest. "What are you doing?"

"I am taking you downstairs to take care of you." His smile was warm and full of love.

"I can walk though..."

"Maybe I don't wanna let go of you." His smile turned into a crooked one, which caused me to blush more.

Who could argue with that logic?

He carried me carefully, almost as if I was going to break, downstairs. The smell of French Toast hit my senses, causing my stomach to rumble, to my embarrassment. Edward smiled down at me and sat me gently on a stool in front of the island in the large kitchen.

"Meal time for the Human, yet again." He winked at me and took the stool next to mine.

"Here you go Bella, I hope you are hungry dear." Esme placed a large plate of, what looked to be, the most appetizing french toast I have ever seen in my life.

"Yes Ma-...Uh, Esme...But you really didn't have to do that. You guys don't even eat."

"Non sense! You are our guest, and we are going to take care of you. Now eat up, you are too skinny!" She smiled warmly while shaking her spatula at me. If my throat didn't hurt I would have laughed. Edward jumped up and quickly dashed to the fridge. I watched wide eyed as his hands moved quicker than humanly possible, and placed a large glass of milk in front of me.

"This should help with your throat." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I could tell he was still worried about me. No doubt, thinking about last night. I felt guilty for bringing my problems in on this family, but I felt more guilty for enjoying the attention they were giving me. The way Esme and Rosalie had hugged me, showing me the kind of affection I had craved for...awhile now. The way Edward held me last night, refusing to leave my side, even though he had to be bored out of his mind watching me sleep. I would have to find a way to make it up to this family. They have done too much for me already. I smiled halfheartedly back at them and mumbled a quiet thank you. I took a small bite of the french toast and moaned in delight.

"Wow, Esme, this is amazing! Were you a cook as a human or something?" She chuckled and her smile brightened.

"No, dear. But food network can be a good source for all things cooking related!" I had to laugh with her, regretting it instantly as my throat raged in protest. Edward noticed and pushed the milk towards me. I smiled in thanks, which probably looked more like a grimace, and swallowed the cold liquid quickly. It helped distinguish the raging fire in my throat almost instantly. There he was taking care of me again. I would defiantly have to thank this family somehow...

"Bella! You are up! Thats great, because we have a long day ahead of us!" Alice bounced into the kitchen, followed by Rosalie, who surprisingly smiled at me. I thought maybe her kindness would be a one time thing with me. But maybe she has let her wall down for someone in the same situation as her...

"Long day? And what does this long day entail?" I swallowed hard and looked up to Edward, who was glaring daggers at his sister.

"Well shopping, of course!" She rolled her eyes and smiled, plopping down next to me. "And don't give me that look Edward! I told you about this last night!"

"And I told you, it should be up to Bella."

"But Bella wants to go! Don't you Bella?" I really didn't want to go, I hated shopping. But Alice has done so much for me already, if she wanted to go shopping, I would grin and bear it.

"Um, sure Alice. I'll just go put on my clothes from yesterday and I'll-"

"You will not! Bella, we do not wear the same clothes two days in a row!" Alice leapt from the stool and stared at me incredulously. "We will find you something to wear." She nodded to herself.

"Alice...I don't think I could fi-"

"I have some clothes you can wear, Bella." Everyone whipped their heads in Rosalie's direction like she just said she had the cure for cancer. "What? My jeans may be a little long on you, but I have other clothes that could fit."

"Rosalie...T-Thanks. You really don't have to do that." I bit my lip and shifted in my seat. I was not use to so many people being kind to me like this. I didn't know what to do with myself.

"Well I want to. Come on Bella. We will do your hair too." She smiled genuinely at me and reached for my hand. I took it and looked back to a very shocked Edward and Esme, and followed Rosalie and Alice upstairs to Rosalie's room.

"Oh, Bella! We are going to have so much fun today! A girls day out!" Alice bounced about the room, sitting me at a vanity table, and began brushing through my hair.

"Is this alright, Bella?" Rosalie held up a deep blue chiffon form fitting top, a matching blue chiffon skirt, and a pair of blue ballet flats. My eyes widened when I saw the skirt. It would barely reach my knees!

"Um, that is very beautiful Rosalie but um...We getting so dressed up just to go shopping?" I didn't want her to feel I didn't want to wear the clothes. She was being kind enough to offer me to wear some, and the ones she offered didn't seem cheap.

"Of course! We have to look good, to dress good!" Alice had my hair straightened and shiner than I could ever remember it being. She had matching blue clips in my hair, pinning the strands from my eyes. "And that blue will look beautiful with your skin tone Bella!"

"Um...A-Alright then. Thank you Rosalie, and you too Alice. You two have done so much for me already." I carefully took the clothes in Rosalie's outstretched hands and began throwing them on quickly.

The top clung to my curves, in all the right places. Just about every top I owned was either baggy or I would wear a sweatshirt over it. The see-through material made me self conscious, but not as much as the skirt. It stopped a few inches above my knees, leaving more skin than I felt comfortable showing. I had a deep scar running up my right outer thigh up to my hip, from one of the earlier times I fought back with Phil. The tip of it showed at the hem of the skirt, and I unconsciously traced it with my finger. But the action didn't go unnoticed.

"Bella you can barely see it. You look so beautiful, I doubt anyone will even notice!" Alice shoved the flats at me with a smile.

"Bella, its nothing to be ashamed of. Look at it as a battle scar. You are a strong woman, and you survived what no woman should have to go through. Wear it with pride, not shame." Rosalie pulled me to her in a welcoming hug. I wrapped my arms around her and murmured a quiet thank you. Alice could hardly contain herself, as she flung herself at us, creating a 'group hug'. "Now, put those shoes on, and lets go downstairs where we can make our dear brother drool over you." I smiled and couldn't help the small giggle that I emitted with the thought of Edward. That man could make anyone a giggling mess, and a puddle at his feet with just the curve of his lips.

Once Alice and Rosalie were dressed and ready, and putting me to shame I might add, we made our way downstairs. They somehow managed to force some makeup on me, not much, just a light eyeshadow and some lipgloss, but more than I was use to. I felt rather out of place in such a get up. I was not a beautiful girl, so why go through all the trouble to make me look so? Esme's eyes lit up when she saw me enter the living room. She smiled warmly and stood from her place on the couch.

"Oh, Bella! You look lovely dear."

"Thank you Esme." I bit my lip nervously, looking around for Edward, but came up with nothing. "Um...Where is-"

"Bella Bear! Woah, looks like Rosie and Alice got to play dress-up huh? You look great!" Emmett strolled in the room, followed by a smiling Jasper. I blushed and looked to my feet, mumbling another thank you.

"Don't embarrass her Emmett!" Alice danced over to Jasper's waiting arms and planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"Hey, calm down Pixie! I was just giving Shortie here a complement! I thought chicks liked that."

I turned around when I heard quiet footsteps on the staircase. Edward was walking side by side with Carlisle, talking amongst themselves. His eyes automatically snapped to mine when he entered the living room. I blushed deeply when his eyes strayed down my body, lingering on my legs for a moment too long. He cleared his throat and met my gaze once more.

"Bella you look..." He started, taking a step towards me and brushing the back of his fingers across my cheek. I shivered, but not from his chilled fingers, but from the electricity that accompanies his touch. "You look absolutely beautiful..." For a moment, I forgot everyone else in the room. Nothing else mattered but the man in front of me, and his fingers on my skin. A strange feeling shot through me. I wanted more of him on my skin. I wanted all of him. And it scared me to death.

I had never wanted that kind of attention from any man. I have never had a man's touch that didn't leave pain afterwards. But just being around Edward was intoxicating. The way his eyes were only on mine when we were in a room together, the way we automatically were drawn to each other, the way his hands felt on my skin, the way his lips moved in sync with mine. Everything about him set my body on fire. But could I allow these types of feelings? Sure I loved Edward, there was no doubt about that, but did _these _types of feelings really what I needed in my life? Wouldn't Edward hurt me like Phil had?

_No...It would be different with him...You know it would. Edward wants to protect and love you, not hurt and destroy you. His touch would be tender and loving, not painful and angry. Edward would show you what that sort of touch was supposed to be like...But he may never want you in that way. Not after you have been damaged. Yes he loved me, even though I wasn't pure. But could he ever want me like a man wants a woman? Could he ever..._desire _me?..._

"T-Thank you..." I snapped myself out of my revere. Edward leaned in and pressed his lips to mine gently for a moment, and pulled away smiling.

_He kissed me...and he did it in front of his family! _

I looked up at him and smiled brightly.

_Holy freaking crap Swan, get ahold of yourself! He has kissed you before..._

Yeah, but not in front of others.

"Have fun today, but don't be afraid to tell them when you have had enough, Okay? Rosalie and Alice can get a little carried away when shopping is involved...And if you need me for anything at all, Alice has my cell number." Edward cupped my cheek in his hand and smiled.

"She will be fine! I don't see anything going wrong Edward. You worry too much! Now stop hogging Bella!" Alice laced her arm with mine and pulled me along side her, to the garage. A beautiful red BMW was awaiting us. Rosalie quickly slid into the drivers seat, and I sat quietly in the back.

"So, um...Where are we going?" I held onto the seat discreetly. Rosalie liked to speed just like Edward. I wonder if it was just a vampire thing...

"Port Angeles...I know you didn't really have the time of your life there last night, but we are here with you. No one will touch you, and we are just going to a few shops. We would go to Seattle but Edward would kill us if we took you somewhere he couldn't get to in less than Twenty minutes without him." Alice piped in. "I swear, you would think having a psychic in the family would make him chill out a bit. But not with you."

I smiled to myself. I liked the protective side of Edward, it always made me feel safe. And that was a feeling that was rare until I moved to Forks. The ride to Port Angeles was filled with Alice's commentary over what she thought would look 'cute' on me. I honestly didn't have any intention of buying any clothes. Mainly because I didn't have much money with me. I had the money left over from from last night, but I much rather spend it on books, not clothes. You could escape in a book. Clothes just accented parts of your body for others to look at. But when you want to be invisible, you don't want anything to 'accent' your looks. Not that I had anything to look at, but when I covered up, like I usually did, I didn't get any unwanted attention.

The car came to a stop in front of a strip of shops. Alice hoped out of the car and eagerly pulled me out behind her. _I wish I had one of my sweatshirts with me right about now... _

Groups of people walked down the walkway. Some holding hands, some laughing, some looking in our direction, and others not paying attention. The ones looking in our direction are the ones that caused me the most unease. I was with the two most beautiful girls I have ever met, of course people would look!

I felt my heart pound in my chest, and my palms began to sweat when we entered one of the stores. It was filled with people. Women _and _Men. I had a bad feeling about this._ I really wished we brought Jasper now...I could use one of those calming waves he sent off..._

"Bella, chill out! You are going to be fine. I see the future, remember?" Alice smiled at me and taped her head with her finger, giggling. "Now come on, we have some shopping to do!"

A few agonizing hours later, I held four bags of clothes, that Alice insisted on buying for me. I had never felt more guilty than I did at that moment. Not only had this family taken me in last night, after one major episode, but they have befriended me. Rosalie has even entrusted me with a dark secret of her human life. And here I was, shopping with my new found friends, and not paying for a single article of clothing in my hands. I would have to pay them back somehow. I had begged and pleaded for Alice to allow me to buy some of the clothing, that I wasn't even sure I had the courage to wear, but she wouldn't relent.

Sometime during our shopping escapades, Alice froze in place. Her eyes went blank, and she looked so far away. Rosalie was at her side in an instant. Alice was in this trance like state for a moment or two, but when she came to, she shook her head and jumped right back into the conversation.

"There is no way we will let you pay for the clothes, Bella. You just better get use to us shopping for you." Rosalie smiled warmly at me.

"And stop trying to figure out a way to pay us back! I can see the future, remember? And nothing you plan on doing is working! Let it go!" Alice giggled.

"I wish you would let me do..._something. _I don't deserve your family's kindness."

"Bella...You have made Edward happier than we have ever seen him. Even last night. Even though you were going through a hard time, he was still over the moon about you finding solace in him. He has never been so protective over anything or anyone! Not even us! You have done enough for this family, just making Edward smile." I blushed at Alice's words. Did I really do that for Edward? I know he has done more for me than anyone has ever attempted. And his family, not even knowing me all that long, had welcomed me with open arms.

_I should just enjoy it while it lasts._

I smiled and nodded, averting my gaze somewhere else. We began walking back towards Rosalie's car, when Mike Newton spotted us. I swallowed hard. He wasn't with his friends, and he had a familiar gleam in his eye. Alice and Rosalie must have sensed this, because they flanked me on both sides as he approached.

"Hey, Bella! What's up?" He smiled at me, his eyes trailing up my body and lingering on my exposed collarbone. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I felt my body begin to shake. Rosalie grabbed my left hand supportingly. "Look, uh, I'm sorry about the way I have treated you lately...Its just my friends have given me a hard time about you and uh-"

"Why the hell should she sit here and listen to your pathetic excuse for an apology, which you don't mean. If you were any sort of friend at all, you would have stood up for her against your little asshole friends. Bella does not need _that _kind of company." Rosalie gave Mike a glare that sent shivers down _my _spine. "I know what you are after, and I can promise you, she isn't interested. So keep your 'apology' in your pants before I rip it off. Or before Edward gets ahold of you." She sneered.

"I have to agree with Rose. If Edward found out that you were practically undressing his _girlfriend _with your eyes...I am pretty sure he would gouge them out for you." Alice grabbed my other hand and smiled triumphantly when Mike's eyes went wide.

"You and C-Cullen, huh? Well...Sorry for the uh...Just s-sorry." Mike turned around abruptly and practically sprinted back to his car.

"Nice touch, Al. I think he almost pissed himself." Rosalie laughed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "You okay, Bella?" her voice held true concern. I did the only thing I could think of. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her gently. She was caught off guard at first, but quickly returned the embrace.

"Hey! Don't forget me!" We both opened an arm out to Alice, which she happily bounced into, hugging us tightly.

"Alright, enough of this mushy shit, lets get home before Mike finds his balls again." I laughed and nodded.

"Thanks guys...For, back there." I said quietly as we made it back on the road.

"No problem, Bella. If any guy messes with you again, or you feel uncomfortable. You come to us...Well Edward probably won't let you out of his sight, but if you ever find yourself without him, you let us know." Alice turned in her seat to face me and smiled.

"Yeah, that goes with the stupid Stanley bitch and the rest of them as well. I'll mess em up for you." Rose winked at me in the rearview mirror. My smile brightened and I nodded again. I was really feeling at home with the Cullens. Maybe I could start to heal after all...

When we pulled up to the Cullens house, Edward was sitting on the porch. As soon as the car was parked, he leapt off the stairs and had me out of the car and into his arms before I could even register we had stopped.

"Geese, pretty boy, your like a lost puppy! Don't worry, we brought her home unscathed. Even took care of that Newton kid for you. No need to thank us." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'll take your stuff inside, Bella."

"Thank you Rose." She winked at me and grabbed the bags, caring them inside.

"Alice, what did she mean by 'taking care of the Newton kid' ?" Edward's face was full of concern, and his attention was only on me.

"We um...Had a little run in with Mike. Don't worry, he didn't touch Bella. But he did give her some...Suggestive looks that made her uncomfortable."

"Rosalie and Alice stood up for me. Thanks to them, I don't think Mike will be bothering me anytime soon." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he just sighed and held me closer. Alice took that as her signal to leave.

"I missed you..." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers through my body as his cold breath washed over me.

"I missed you too."

Edward kissed my temple and ran his fingers through my hair before pulling back reluctantly.

"Esme has lunch ready for you in the kitchen. She just finished so its still warm. I hope you like Italian." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I love Italian...But I just ate breakfast."

"Bella, you guys have been gone for five hours, its past lunchtime."

"Seriously?" My eyes widened. "We have been gone _that _long?"

Edward chuckled, his smile finally a sincere one. "Yes, Angel. You were gone that long. Now lets get you inside before your food gets cold." I blushed and followed him. I don't know if Edward realized he had just called me Angel, but I liked it. Though it didn't seem fitting. He was _my _angel.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" I blushed again.

"Your eyes are still black...You haven't gone hunting yet."

"I know...I, uh. I've been busy." He seemed troubled, but I didn't want to push it. Edward obviously didn't feel like talking about it.

"Bella, hun! Your lunch is ready. I made Alfredo! I hope you like it." Esme sat me on the stool from this morning and pushed a large plate of the most delicious looking alfredo I have ever seen towards me.

"This looks wonderful, Esme. Thank you so much. You have all done so much for me. I don't know how I will ever thank you enough." Edward was leaning against the wall of the kitchen. He looked to be in his own world. His arms were crossed over his chest, with one foot crossing the other. His eyes were staring at the floor. I wonder what had him so troubled...

"Just enjoy, dear. You are apart of the family now." Esme smiled and gave a worried glance in Edward's direction, which didn't go unnoticed by me.

"Edward, I need to talk to you." Alice stood in the entry way with her hands on her hips. She looked like a kitten on the prowl. I felt sorry for Edward. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of those looks.

"You eat your lunch, Bella. I'll be right back love." Edward smiled slightly and followed Alice into the other room.

I absently jabbed some noodles with my fork. What was wrong with Edward?

"Don't worry, sweetie. I'm sure Edward will be fine. He will talk to you in his own time." She smiled politely at me, reading my mind. I smiled back and at my lunch quietly.

_I hope Edward could open up to me, like I have to him. I want to help him too. If he will let me in..._

_

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_**Hey, yaw! I am sooooooooooo sorry for delaying this chapter so long! I was having writers block with it. And my whole family got sick, so I was out of commission for awhile! But I am back, and as you can tell (for those of you who watch me) I have uploaded a new story called "Vampire in the Attic" I am really excited about this one. And I hope yaw enjoy it as well!! Please read it and tell me what you think!**

**I also have posted the playlist for this story on my profile, so yaw can go click the link and listen to what inspired me to write this story! I am also posting some outfits used for this story! ALICE MADE ME DO IT! Bella's outfit for this story is posted on my profile so...GO LOOK! =3  
**

**I want to thank you all so freaking much for all the reviews I get on this story! It realy inspires me to keep writing. Reviews are always welcome!! ^__~**

**Twilight (C) Stephanie Meyer  
**


	11. Chapter 11

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Ten

The Hunter

Edward Pov:

I watched as Bella followed the girls upstairs. I really didn't like the idea of being away from her, especially after last night...Call me obsessive and possessive, but I just found out the woman I loved had been violated, on several occasions, and I couldn't do anything about it. So forgive me for not wanting her out of my sight even for a moment. I wanted to protect her, take care of her, and ensure no one ever laid another hand on her again.

I was also worried about how she would take being around so many people today. She had, had a major break down last night, and not only was she physically paying for it, but I couldn't tell how she was doing emotionally. I know how I was fairing emotionally, I was pissed off. I was angry for not destroying the scum that had attacked her last night when I had the chance.

_Its alright, Alice said they would be picked up. They had a warrant out for them. When they were found in the Janitor closet, they were taken in. They will never touch my Bella again..._

"Son, may I have a quick word with you?" Carlisle stood at the foot of the stairs. A concerned smile playing at his lips. I smiled and nodded, quickly following behind him.

Once inside his office, I sat in front of his desk. He sat in his chair and folded his hands on top of the desk.

"What's on your mind Carlisle?"

He cleared his throat and gave me a sad smile. "I wanted to talk to you about possible ways we can help Bella."

Help Bella? I would do anything it took.

"You name it, I'll do it Carlisle. What can we do?" I couldn't help the excitement that filled me. I didn't want Bella to have to live life the way she is now because of that monster of a stepdad. Not that I liked the idea of other men touching her, but I didn't like the idea of a simple touch sending her into hysterics.

"You will have to wean her into a males touch. Before I can give you any certain answers, I will need to see if she reacts to us differently."

"What do you mean, reacts to us differently?" How would we make a difference?

"Well, perhaps the reason she is so responsive to your touch, is because of your body temperature. The heat of a humans touch could possibly trigger a memory for her. Because your touch is cold, perhaps she finds comfort in it. But I won't know for sure unless she allows Jasper, Emmett or myself to touch her. A simple touch of her arm or hand should allow us a better understanding of her situation." Carlisle's eyes were on his folded hands. I could hear his inner musings about Bella. I could tell he really wanted to help her, and was just as angry about the situation she was in as I was. Well...maybe not _as _much as me.

"So you think the only reason she does not react negatively to my touch, is because I have no body heat?" I hope thats not the only reason...

"No, I don't believe that is the only reason. It is obvious that the two of you share a connection, my son. Do not doubt that. But we also have to take everything into consideration. Once we figure out exactly what triggers the break downs, we can go from there." He looked up to me and smiled with concern. "Now I don't want to try anything out with her today. The poor girl has been through enough the past twenty-four hours, I don't want to subject her to anything else tonight."

"Thank you Carlisle. This really means a lot to me, that you are so willing to help her." He would never know how grateful I was.

"No need to thank me son." His smile turned warmer.

We sat in relative silence for awhile. I could hear the girls getting ready, and smiled to myself. My Bella was being so brave, by going out today after last night. I didn't like the idea of being away from her though. What if she went into another episode? Could Alice and Rosalie calm her? Or was that only me?

"Carlisle...Are you angry with me? That I told Bella...about us?" This was another thing that had been bothering me. I felt like I was betraying my family by telling Bella about us...But I would be betraying my heart if I didn't.

"No, Edward. I am not angry with you. I understand your reasoning behind it. And I believe Bella will not reveal us to anyone." Carlisle stood and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I am just glad to see you so happy, son. But you have to be gentle with her. She is fragile and we don't really know how far to push her. But I believe we can help her. And in turn, she is helping you. She is apart of this family now." He smiled and squeezed my shoulder before letting go.

"Thank you Carlisle...She does make me happy. And I know she is fragile, I will be careful with her...I don't think I could hurt her even if I tried."

"I know you couldn't Edward. But always remember that the human mind is a fragile and complex thing. But as I said before, I believe we can help her. And we will." I smiled and nodded. "Now come on, I think Alice has finished with your Bella."

_My Bella..._

I stood but froze when Alice's vision flashed in my head.

_The two men from the theatre quickly jumped into the back of a van. The van sped off before the police could arrive and take them in. The security tape from the theatre was now missing, taken by one of the other three men that were with the two I left in the janitor closet. _

_"That was a close one, Brian! Who the hell was that guy?" The driver, a lanky blonde asked. _

_"I have no fucking idea Ryan! But that little bitch won't get away with it. I don't know when...But the next time I see her, her little boy toy won't be able to save her." Brian wiped the blood off of the back of his head. _

_"Yeah, too bad she got away from us this time. She would have been a good fuck. I could tell." The burly one I threw against the wall rubbed his head as well. "Ryan, did you guys get the tape? I don't need another fucking warrant out for my ass!"_

_"Yes, Stephan. We got the tape."_

The vision ended, and I was barely containing the rumbling in my chest. Those bastards got away...Alice promised they would be arrested!

_"I'm sorry Edward...I swear, last night the vision said they would get caught! But you can't do anything about this, okay? It wont turn out good. They will get caught eventually. Bella will not be harmed." _I pushed Alice's silent plea away.

_You bet she will not be harmed. I would see to it personally. But I can't show my anger around Bella...Carlisle is right. She is too fragile. I can't let her see the monster she has fallen in love with...I'll just pretend like everything is normal. But when she leaves...I'll find them. I'll find them and kill them. I will not leave a possibility of Bella being hurt. _

I plastered on my best fake smile and followed Carlisle down the stairs. I stopped abruptly when I saw her...

Her brown eyes shone brightly at me. Her blush only making her more beautiful. The deep blue on her porcelain skin giving it an almost translucent look to it. Her chestnut hair, straight and shiny, trailing down her back and over her slender shoulders. And her legs...I felt an immense amount of guilt wash over me for the impure thoughts that entered my mind when I saw those long, tempting legs...She was the definition of beauty. She rendered me speechless.

I cleared my throat.

"Bella you look..." I took a step towards her and grazed my hand across her flushed cheek. "You look absolutely beautiful..."

_Words can not describe, my dear Bella..._

"T-Thank you..." She murmured. My eyes drifted from her blush to her lips. The slight shine from the lipgloss Alice applies only amplified them, only succeeding in making them more tempting. So I couldn't help it. I didn't care who was watching. I leaned in and kissed her softly for a moment. I wanted them to see. I wanted them to see this wonderful woman and how much I loved her. I pulled back and smiled at her, her blush only deepened.

She beamed at me, this only made me smile more.

"Have fun today, but don't be afraid to tell them when you have had enough, Okay? Rosalie and Alice can get a little carried away when shopping is involved...And if you need me for anything at all, Alice has my cell number." I told her, softly cupping her cheek.

"She will be fine! I don't see anything going wrong Edward. You worry too much! Now stop hogging Bella!" Alice linked her arm in Bella's, taking her away from me.

_Damn Alice...She knows how badly I am going to worry about her now! _

I fought back the protective growl in my throat.

When they were out of sight, I dashed upstairs to retrieve my keys to the Volvo, and headed back downstairs before anyone could notice. Well, before I _thought _anyone could notice.

"Where you going, bro?" Emmett met me at the front door, a smirk on his face. "Going after Bella Bear already?"

_What should I tell Emmett? I don't want his help...Not that he would volunteer to kill a human, but I wanted to do this on my own. They threatened _my _Bella, so they would meet their end at _my _hands._

"I'm going hunting." That wasn't a lie.

"I'll go with you!"

"No!" I said a little too quickly and harshly. "Sorry Em, but I need to do this on my own." I didn't even wait for Emmett to respond. I hopped in the Volvo, and let the hunter take over.

----

I was already in Port Angeles, doing my best to avoid Alice. I wasn't sure, based on the vision, where my _prey _would be. But I remembered back in my darker days...Where I would to go prey on vermin like these men. I kept driving, until I was hit with a familiar scent. Fear.

I pulled over to the side of the road and stealthily made it to the shadowed back alley. It was still light out, but the buildings created a perfect cover, especially since it was rather cloudy out today. It was all in my advantage. They wouldn't know what hit them...But I would be sure to make them feel the pain...

"Hold her down Stephen! This pretty little things a fighter." I could see them now. The leader, Brian, was hovering over a young brunette. But it wasn't the brunette I saw, it was Bella.

I kept to the shadows, but released a deep, menacing snarl. The men jumped back quickly, giving the girl just enough time to reach her feet, before two others grabbed her arms and forced her back to the ground.

"Let her go..." I all but growled.

When I finally reached the end of the ally, and loomed just at the edge of the shadows, I allowed them to see me. This would be the last look they would get of me, before they were screaming out in pain. Begging me to finish them.

"Your the guy from last night!" The lanky one shouted. I tilted my head to the side, staring him down as a smirk crossed my lips. "Come to play hero again?"

"Let her go, I want to take care of this jackass first!" Brian waved the girl off, who bolted down the ally without a second thought. "You're going to pay for that...Thats the second little bitch you let get away."

The men began stalking towards me, but I held my stance, my smirk growing and my eyes narrowing as they neared. I was enjoying this too much.

"Too bad you didn't bring that fine piece of ass with you." Brian chuckled. "I guess we will just have to go find her and show her a good time." Thats all it took. My smirk fell, my stance turned into a crouch, my lip curled and a loud growl vibrated in my chest. I sounded like an animal, the animal that I truly was. My rage was boiling to a dangerous degree. My vision when blank, my breathing increased, my hands began to shake, and my growls became even louder.

_Bella. _

_Blood. _

_Brown eyes._

_Vacant._

_Lifeless. _

_Fear._

_Anger._

_Rage._

_Despair._

_Pain._

_Screams._

_Screams._

_SCREAMS_

The screaming became louder. It wasn't until Brian's lifeless body crumpled at my feet, did I realize it was the other men's screams I had been hearing. I hadn't drank from him, no, even in my vacant state, did I realize I didn't want any part of this vermin in my body. No. The skin of his neck was marred by deep finger indentions. I had broken him, I had taken a life, I had killed the man that had threatened to take away my Bella...But I wanted _more._

I could barely hear the screams anymore, they were being over shadowed by my snarling. I whipped my head around and crouched, preparing to finish off the others. Before I could pounce, I was being launched back by two pairs of arms. Emmett and Jasper held me to the ground. I fought back, hissing and flailing, trying to warn them to back off, trying to shove them off of me so I could finish what I started. But I couldn't break free. Jasper engulfed us in a wave of calm, but I was fighting back too hard.

I managed to get Emmett off of me, flinging him into a near by wall. But there to take his place, before I could even stand, was a very disappointed Carlisle. The disappointment seeping off of him, is what finally brought me back to reality. The look in his eyes diluted my yearning to kill, and replaced it with guilt and self hate. I allowed myself to go limp in their grasp, not even bothering to fight back anymore.

_What have I done? What will Bella think of me now... She will leave. She will leave me and never return. I will scare her off...But, maybe thats for the best. She will see the monster I truly am, and finally be free from demons. _

"Emmett will take care of the others, and the...body. They will be captured, Edward. We will cover this up for you...No one will know what happened today...No one has to..." Carlisle wrapped his arm around my waist and lead me from the ally to the back of his Mercedes. Jasper and Emmett would be taking the Volvo home.

"I'm sorry..." was all I could rasp out. My chest felt heavy with the realization that I would once again be alone.

"I'm not going to say its alright, because it's not son...But we all make mistakes...We all have had our slip ups. We are a family and we will protect you. But you shouldn't have let your anger control your actions. You should have come to me..."

_I've disgraced my family...I truly am a monster..._

I nodded. Words evaded me. I could never apologize enough. I should have listened to Alice. She told me the outcome would be bad... Why didn't I listen to her...

The drive back was quiet. I could cut the tension in the car with a knife. When we arrived back to the house, the girls were still gone. Carlisle gave me a sideways glance and walked inside. I sat on the porch, resting my elbows on my knees and let the disappointment settle in.

I sat quietly on the porch for a good hour, Emmett and Jasper passing me once they arrived home. I didn't have the courage to look them in the eye. I was too ashamed. I could hear the crunch of gravel, and sprang off the porch step before the BMW could even make a complete stop. I had Bella out of the car and in my arms in a matter of seconds. I breathed her in deeply, letting the fire consume me, the beat of her heart lull me, and her warmth tame me.

"Geese, pretty boy, your like a lost puppy! Don't worry, we brought her home unscathed. Even took care of that Newton kid for you. No need to thank us." Rosalie rolled her eyes, but I didn't care. "I'll take your stuff inside, Bella." Wait...What about Newton?

"Thank you Rose." Bella Murmured against my chest.

"Alice, what did she mean by 'taking care of the Newton kid'?" Did something happen to Bella? I should have been protecting her, not seeking revenge...

"We um...Had a little run in with Mike. Don't worry, he didn't touch Bella. But he did give her some...Suggestive looks that made her uncomfortable." _She is okay Edward, he was just eyeing her. But we told him to back off...And I told you not to go looking for those men...But things won't be as bad as you think Edward. _

"Rosalie and Alice stood up for me. Thanks to them, I don't think Mike will be bothering me anytime soon." Bella gave me a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. _Thanks to them... I should have protected her, I should have been there... _

I sighed and pulled her closer, running my nose along her jaw to her ear. "I missed you..." I whispered. She shivered in my arms and I held her closer.

"I missed you too." She breathed.

I kissed her temple and ran my fingers through her silky strands. This may be the last time I get such pleasantry. I pulled back as the ache in my chest consumed me.

"Esme has lunch ready for you in the kitchen. She just finished so its still warm. I hope you like Italian." I tried to smile, but I am sure it came off as a grimace.

"I love Italian...But I just ate breakfast."

"Bella, you guys have been gone fore five hours, its past lunchtime." I assured her.

"Seriously?" Her eyes widened, it was adorable. "We have been gone _that _long?"

I couldn't help it, I chuckled and smiled. Her innocence was heart warming. Too bad my was frozen over.

"Yes, Angel. You were gone that long. Now lets get you inside before your food gets cold." Her cheeks flushed, and I fought back the urge to touch them. I led her inside.

"Edward?" her voice was full of concern.

"Yes, love?"

"Your eyes are still black...You haven't gone hunting yet." _I did go hunting, Bella. But the kind you wouldn't approve of..._

"I know...I, uh. I've been busy." _I'm sorry, forgive me my love..._

"Bella, hun! Your lunch is read. I made Alfredo! I hope you like it." Esme gave me a knowing glance as Bella took her seat.

"This looks wonderful, Esme. Thank you so much. You have all done so much for me. I don't know how I will ever thank you enough."

I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms against my chest and one foot over the other. How was I going to tell Bella? How would she take it? Would she leave right away, or would she yell at me and tell me how much of a monster I was? Would she hate me? Despise me? Would simply looking at me sicken her?

I can't take it. I had to leave. I can't take her dismissal. It would hurt too badly. I deserved it, but it would utterly destroy me...

"Just enjoy, dear. You are apart of the family now." Esme gave me another worried glance, but I couldn't return the gesture. Everyone has already grown attached to Bella... And I had to ruin things. I destroyed any sort of future with Bella. It was gone...

No, she had no future with me. I cannot die. I cannot take away her chance at heaven. At eternal peace. I would simply watch her from afar, while she lived her life. The life I couldn't be apart of. But could I just stand back and watch her? Could I see her in the arms of another man? Could she ever get past the pain to be in the arms of another? Yes, she was a strong woman. She deserved something better than me, than a monster...

I had to vanish. I had to disappear. I would only make life harder on her. I had to take away the danger in her life. I was a danger now. If I could simply kill a human without even knowing. A simple flick of the wrist and she would be the lifeless body at my feet, Brian had been today. I couldn't do that. Not to my Bella. I had to go. I had to leave...

"Edward, I need to talk to you." Alice stood in the entry way, looking livid. She knew what I had planned. She would be a problem...

_"Don't even think about it Romeo!" _Alice mentally shouted.

Bella's eyes widened when she saw Alice's stance. "You eat your lunch, Bella. I'll be right back love."

_No I won't...This is goodbye my love...I'm so sorry Bella...I'm so sorry..._

I fought back the tearless sobs that threatened to quake my body. The dull ache in my chest intensified. I had to do this, for Bella. For her safety.

If this was the right thing to do...Why did it feel so wrong?

* * *

**-hides- Don't hurt me! I know I know another Cliffy...But Hey, Two chapters in a week? I'm doing good, right? I'm trying! Don't worry. I will try my hardest to get the next chapter out as soon as possible...Would you all like a continuation of Edward's POV or another Bella's POV? Please tell me in a comment! I could use the help on who to tell it from!**

**Thank you all soooooo much for the reviews! It really keeps me writing and I am so grateful for all of your wonderful words!!  
**

**The song for this chapter is Hunter by 30 Seconds to Mars! **

**Twilight (C) Stephanie Meyer**

**Reviews are better than Badass Edwards ;)  
**


	12. Chapter 12

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Eleven

Better than me

_I really miss your hair in my face.__  
And the way your innocence tastes.__  
And I think you should know this.  
You deserve much better than me._

_-Hinder_

Edward Pov:

I had to do it. I knew Alice was going to try and persuade me not to. But I had to. I had to save Bella. Even from myself. Sure enough Alice was giving me the death glare when I entered the living room.

_"You can't do this Edward! She needs you!"_

I sighed and lowered my voice.

"She needs her life more, Alice...I'm not good for her. Look at what I've done. Can you tell me that after seeing what I did to that human...That there is no possibility that I would hurt Bella?"

Alice scoffed at me, her eyes narrowing in anger. _"Don't you think I would have put a stop to the two of you, if I felt her safety was at risk? You won't hurt her Edward. You just made a simple mistake-"_

"A mistake that could ultimately mean the end of Bella's life!" I hissed. "I will not take the chance of loosing her, Alice. What I did today is inexcusable. I will not subject Bella to this kind of life. A life of monsters and demons."

_"You are really something, you know that? You sit here and preach about how you are such a monster and how you don't want to put Bella in constant danger." _ Alice stood firm and poked me in the chest. _"Have you not listened to her story at all? Do you not think her life was in constant danger before? She spent the last couple of years being surrounded by a monster. A man who didn't think twice about hurting her."_

"I am not going to delude myself into thinking that this life is any better for her than her previous one...Sure I have no intention of ever laying a hand on Bella. But there is always that risk, that I cannot allow myself to take."

_"Life is all about risks Edward! You can't protect her from everything!"_

"But I can protect her from myself...And that is what I plan on doing."

_"You will break her, Edward. You will destroy what is left of that poor girl. Is that what you want? You will do more harm than good by doing this." _

Would I? Would I really be breaking an already fragile creature? Surely she valued her own life enough to know I am only doing this for her own good. But would I really destroy her? Could I live with that?

No.

Alice was just trying to persuade me.

"I am going to save her, Alice. I love her. I love her enough to let her go..." With that I re entered the kitchen. Leaving a fuming Alice behind. She was still screaming at me to stop. To listen to her. She tried to show me her visions of what would happen, but I pushed her thoughts out of my head. I was doing this.

For Bella...

Bella was right where I had left her. Her eyes full of confusion, but once she saw me, her eyes brightened and she beamed at me.

Could I really let this go? Could I spend the rest of forever without her smiling face?

I would have to.

_For Bella... _I kept chanting to myself.

Always for Bella.

"Are you done, love?" I wanted to reach out to her.

_Stop it...Don't make this any harder than it is..._

"Yes. What did Alice want? She seemed pretty...Angry?"

_You have no idea..._

"Nothing. Bella I need to talk to you -"

"Bella! We are not done with our girl time!" Alice hopped into the room, scowling at me.

_"I won't let you mess this up, Edward!"_

Dammit Alice!

I scowled back.

"Uh, but Edward wants to talk, Alice. Can't it wait a few moments?" Bella's eyes traveled back and forth between me and my pesky sister.

"No, it certainly cannot wait! Can it Rosalie?"

"Nope. We are far from done with you, Bella." Rosalie's furious gaze met mine.

_"Don't you even think about it, pretty boy! I know what Bella is going through and she needs us. You will not hurt her even more than she already has been. I won't let you. Emmett and Jasper know about your little plan to break her heart. And Emmett is ready to rip yours out if you hurt her...If I give him the chance."_

I had no doubt about that. My family has grown quite close to her over the short time they have spoken at the lunch table. Even more so over the past day, seeing as she accepted us so quickly. But I wouldn't allow Bella's life to dangle in the line of danger.

"Oh...Well I guess-"

"It can't wait Bella." I balled my fists at my sides. "They are just trying to stop the inevitable. I didn't want to do this in here but I will if I have to." Rosalie hissed at me, but I ignored her.

"What is it, Edward? Have I done something wrong?" How could she have done something wrong? Why would she even think that?

"No, Bella. You haven't done anything wrong. But I have..." I swallowed the lump rising in my throat.

_"Don't do it Edward...Please...Look at what you will do to her..."_

I tried to push the visions out, but Alice wasn't relenting. She wanted me to see. I deserved to see. See the pain I would always cause her.

_Bella's quivering frame was curled up in some sort of closet. Her face crumpled in pain. Tears streaming from her swollen red eyes. Slowly she reached out for something, quietly murmuring to herself._

_"He didn't want me...No one will want me...I'm tainted..." Her shaking hand brought forth a shard of glass from a broken picture frame. The picture of Bella standing beside a woman with honey colored hair, a large man sitting next to her. Phil. Bella's smile was broken, just like the glass she held, just like her. She pressed the shard to her wrist and..._

"No! Alice stop it!" I shoved the heels of my palms in my eyes, forcing the image away. She wouldn't...I wouldn't let her. She wasn't allowed to take the life I want so badly to protect!

"Edward? What's wrong?" Bella placed her warm quaking hand over mine, slowly pulling my hands from my face.

I can't do this...

_You have to...For Bella, remember?_

But Alice's vision...I want Bella, I _need _her...

_You can't afford to be selfish. Bella's life depends on it. She is not yours to keep._

But she said she loves me. I would never hurt her. I love her.

_Will she want you after she finds out you killed a man with your bare hands? The same hands you use to sooth her with? She will see you for the monster you are. The killer. She wont want you anymore. She will run. Like she should have the day you told her what you are._

Shouldn't she decide? Shouldn't I give her the option?

"Edward?" I shook my head and held her hand firmly in mine.

"Bella...Sit down please, love." Bella furrowed her brows but took her seat from earlier.

Alice gave me a quick glance, before grabbing Rosalie's arm and leaving us alone in the kitchen. Esme quickly following.

I began pacing in front of her. I was so torn. So confused. What was right? What was right for Bella?

_"Let her choose." _Alice whispered.

Taking a deep breath a turned towards her, keeping my head down. I couldn't meet her eyes when I told her.

"Bella...While you were gone with the girls today, I-I...I did something I am rather ashamed of." I swallowed hard before continuing. "Something that makes me wonder weather or not I am good for you..."

I heard her sharp intake of breath, and clenched my eyes shut. She was already ashamed of me.

"What are you saying, Edward?" Her voice was quivering. She knew.

"Bella...I think we should go no farther in this relationship. You deserve much better than me." I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It felt like I was drowning.

"Edward, thats not true! Honestly, I don't deserve you...But I want you. Please, I need you Edward. What did I do wrong? Please tell me and I'll fix it!" She was crying. My heart clenched as I fought my own dry sob from escaping.

"You didn't do anything wrong Bella...I did. Don't you get that? I am not good for you! I'm dangerous! You're just too fragile. You're like glass, Bella." I winced from the memory of Alice's vision. "One little crack can cause the whole thing to shatter. I would break you. And I wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces."

I chanced a look at Bella, and regretted it immediately. Tears filled her eyes and she had curled in on herself, clutching her arms to her chest. I had broken her.

_Its for the best..._

"Don't you see, Edward? I already have been shattered. But ever since I met you, you have been picking up the pieces and gluing me back together...Do you know how long its been since I have smiled and truly meant it?" Her voice was strained with emotion. I wanted to hold her and make her tears stop. I wanted to sooth her. But I didn't deserve to hold her, let alone touch her.

"I can't save you, Bella...I would cause more damage than I would fix. You may seem happy now, but down the line...If you knew what I've done, if you seen the monster I really am. You wouldn't be smiling any longer." I turned way from her, unable to look at her anymore. "I can't do this Bella. I won't ruin you."

"I've already been ruined Edward!"

"You know what I mean Bella! I won't end your life..."

"You won't hurt me..." I turned and glanced at her once more. Her eyes full of defeat.

"You don't know that for certain...I'm sorry Bella. We can't do this." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat again, it just grew tighter. "Just promise me you won't do anything...reckless."

"Edward...Please, just talk to me. Tell me what happened!" She begged. She would hate me now.

"I'm...I'm so sorry..." I had to get out. I couldn't look at her now.

So I ran.

I ran out the back door and through the dense forest that surrounded the house. I could hear Bella screaming for me not to go. But I had to. If I stayed there any longer I would have caved. I would have scooped her in my arms and begged her to forgive me. For her to forgive the monster inside me.

But how can I ask for her forgiveness when I couldn't forgive myself?

I ran until the pain in my chest was too much to bare. Stopping at the treaty line and crumpling to the ground. I let out a pained wail. Tearless sobs shook my body as I let the finality of what I have done sink in.

I should have just told her. I should have told her what I've done and maybe, just maybe I wouldn't have to let her go.

_You can't be selfish...You love her enough to save her..._

I should have told her, but I wanted her to remember me as best she could. It was even more selfish of me to want her to remember...

How could you fall in love with someone so quickly? How could it hurt this much to let them go?

What I wouldn't give to be human. Then I could be right for her. I could hold her the way she needs it, kiss her the way she deserves, and love her without being afraid she would break.

If I were human, I wouldn't have to worry about a single touch breaking her small frame. About her blood calling to me. About her heart beat being a blessing and a curse.

But I cannot be human again. No matter what I was willing to give, I couldn't be what she deserved, what she needed.

_"I need you Edward."_

Her sweet voice echoed in my mind. Even my memories wished to taunt me on what I can never have. She thinks she needs me, but if she knew the danger she put herself in just being around me, she would eat those words. I wouldn't let her. I wouldn't let her put her life at risk any longer. If it meant I would suffer for all eternity, so be it. At least my Bella was safe.

_My Bella..._

She is not my Bella anymore. I no longer have the right to stake a claim to her. To covet her. She was never mine to have...She is too good for me.

She always spoke of how she was tainted. When in truth, I was the tainted one. I have taken lives, I have lied, I have coveted. My innocence was tainted the day I became a vampire. Bella made me feel renewed. Reborn even. I felt a false innocence through her, that was not mine to feel. Her innocence is her own. I would ruin her.

I rolled onto my back and stared aimlessly at the treetops. The rain started out slow, a steady rhythm dripping off of the leaves, before it began to pour down on top of me, pounding against the ground. The rain held no source of relief. Nothing to cool this ache in my chest. Nothing to placate my frozen heart. Just the face of an angel I had no right to.

I spent more time trying to convince myself of the reasoning behind my abandoning Bella, because thats what I was really doing, that I didn't hear the shaky footsteps behind me.

"Edward..." My angel called.

I closed my eyes and reveled in the beauty of it. A voice so sweet and kind. The ache in my chest began to lessen. I said nothing, just let the voice engulf me. I was a dying man and she was my life support.

"Edward...Please." The angel called again.

I let out a shuttering breath as her voice washed over me again. The ache began to dull, and I felt like I could breath again. I didn't deserve it. I deserved the pain. I was the sick masochistic lion, who didn't deserve his lamb.

"Edward, talk to me..." Bella fell to her knees beside me. The thick mud coating her milky legs as they hit the ground. Her thin chiffon blouse and skirt clinging to her like a second skin, her wet hair plastered to her face. Her hands were bleeding from minor scratches, and one of her shoes were missing. She was a mess. A complete and utter, beautiful mess.

My heart clenched in my chest again.

The pain was real.

My angel was here.

My broken angel.

I did this to her.

I really was a monster...

* * *

**-Peeks head out- **

**Is it safe? Will there be angry mobs this chapter too? D= **

**I know, I know! You probably are all pissed off at Edward and are annoyed by his whiney ways. But you have to remember, he is utterly ashamed of himself and what he did earlier in the day. And I know I left it on a cliffy again! I AM SORRY! I will do the next chapter from Bella's POV starting at the beginning of this chapter, so yaw can see what went thorugh her head. **

**I am sorry this is kind of a short chapter, and I am also sorry it took me so long to update! I was haing writers block for awhile. **

**I have a Twilighted thread for this story, and the other two Twilight stories I have posted on my Profile. I ALSO have a brand new Banner for this story, made by the amazing and uber sweet SimplyDazzling! I LOVE YOU! All of you should go check out her story FaceDown. There is a link to her profile on my profile! **

**The song that I listend to throughout this chapter is "Everyday" by Carly Comando. It might help set the mood if ya listen to it while reading. You don't have to! But its what I used!**

**Reviews are always loved! It keeps me going! =3 Reviewers get to hug a wet Edward in the mud!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

.:Tainted Innocence:.

Chapter Twelve

Fragile

_If people can see right through my eyes._

_Like an open door that I can't disguise._

_I won't be afraid from the tears I cry._

_I'll not run, I'll not hide._

_This is how I feel inside._

_A little fragile._

Bella Pov:

What could be bothering Edward? He was fine when I left this morning. What could have happened between then and now thats gotten him so...down? Was it something I did? Maybe he is second guessing being with me... I mean, I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't want me either. Maybe he doesn't want a girl who freaks out with a simple touch...

"Bella, honey? Are you alright?" Esme's eyes held a sadness. Was I making the whole house upset? Was my presence really _that _bad?

"I'm just worried about Edward. He seems really upset for some reason."

"He's just...He has a lot going though his mind right now honey. He has never been in a relationship before, and I'm sure he is a little scared. Like I am sure you are." She smiled sadly and took my empty plate. I didn't even remember eating... "Just...Promise me you won't give up on him. Edward does not always think things through."

Why was she telling me this? Did she know something I didn't?

I smiled meekly and nodded. "I promise. I'll never give up on Edward." I knew I wouldn't.

Not unless he gave up on me first.

I would never make him stay if he didn't want to.

But the longer Edward was in the living room with Alice, the more I began to wonder what was going on. Did Alice know why he was so upset?

I didn't get to muse about it for long, before Edward swiftly entered the kitchen. A somber look on his face. I was nervous already.

"Are you done, love?" My heart fluttered. It couldn't be that bad if he called me love, could it? It was probably nothing. I had a feeling Edward was one to worry about the smallest of things.

"Yes. What did Alice want? She seemed pretty..." What do you call the look of death Alice was shooting him? "Angry?" That should suffice...

"Nothing. Bella I need to talk to you-" He was quickly interrupted by Alice, once again.

"Bella! We are not done with our girl time!" Oh crap...That can't be good. Alice and Edward were scowling at each other. Sibling rivalry perhaps?

"Uh, but Edward wants to talk, Alice. Can't it wait a few moments?" I looked between the two of them. What was going on?

"No, it certainly cannot wait! Can it Rosalie?" Oh no, backup.

"Nope. We are far from done with you, Bella." I don't know weather to be scared or relieved. I had a feeling the talk Edward wanted to have wouldn't have a happy outcome.

"Oh...Well I guess-"

"It can't wait Bella." Edward's eyes were fierce. It frightened me a little. "They are just trying to stop the inevitable. I didn't want to do this here but I will if I have to." This was it. He was finally going to see I wasn't good enough for him...

"What is it, Edward? Have I done something wrong?" _Please don't let me mess this up..._

"No, Bella. You haven't done anything wrong. But I have..." What could he have done wrong? He was perfect...

I furrowed my brow as he trailed off. His eyes widened and his fists clenched at his sides. I don't even think he realized he was doing it, but a low growl resonated within his chest. Something was seriously wrong with Edward.

"No! Alice stop it!" He shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes. I quickly leapt from my chair and placed my shaking hands over his. I was worried about him. What was wrong?

"Edward? What's wrong?" I slowly pulled his hands from his eyes. The pain I saw in them took my breath away momentarily. But the pain was quickly replaced with a hallow gaze.

He was quiet for a long moment. Staring at me with his emotionless eyes. This was wrong...This wasn't my Edward. Something was bothering him, and I hated it. I wanted to take his pain and make it my own. He didn't deserve to hurt, he didn't deserve to feel pain. I would take it all. I wish I could. I would shoulder what ever he was willing to give me.

"Edward?" My voice brought him out of his trance and he shook his head.

"Bella...Sit down please, love." I furrowed my brow again but took my seat. When someone told you to sit down, it usually didn't lead to anything good.

Edward began to pace, which only aided in my nerves to skyrocket. What could he have done that was so horrible? What was hurting my Edward?

He took a deep breath and turned towards me, looking at the ground.

"Bella...While you were gone with the girls today, I-I...I did something I am rather ashamed of." I saw his adams apple bob before he continued. "Something that makes me wonder weather or not I am good for you..."

My breathing hitched. So this was it. I was right. He regretted me.

"What are you saying, Edward?" My voice was unsteady as I held back the sobs that threatened to overtake me. I couldn't loose him...

"Bella...I think we should go no farther in this relationship. You deserve much better than me." I felt my heart constrict in pain. This felt worse than any pain Phil had ever inflicted on me. Physical pain I could take. Edward's rejection? Felt like a knife was being plunged into my already broken heart.

"Edward, thats not true! Honestly, I don't deserve you...But I want you." I said truthfully. "Please, I need you Edward. What did I do wrong? Please tell me and I'll fix it!" I sobbed. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"You didn't do anything wrong Bella...I did. Don't you get that? I am not good for you! I'm dangerous! You're just too fragile. You're like glass, Bella. One little crack can cause the whole thing to shatter. I would break you. And I wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces."

Didn't he already see I was shattered? I couldn't even find the pieces to put me back together. But Edward could. He had started to mend what I thought would always be broken.

_"No one will want you now. You belong to _me._"_

I wrapped my arms around my chest to keep my heart in one piece. Phil's words had spoken the truth after all...Edward doesn't want something broken. Why would he? He does not need to be burdened with the likes of me.

"Don't you see, Edward?" I forced out through the pain. "I already have been shattered. But ever since I met you, you have been picking up the pieces and gluing me back together...Do you know how long its been since I have smiled and truly meant it?" My throat was scorching from the force of my tears. I wanted Edward's touch, his arms, his breath on my skin. But Edward didn't want me...

"I can't save you, Bella." I felt as if he had slapped me with his words. So I was a burden to him..."I would cause more damage than I would fix. You may seem happy now, but down the line...If you knew what I've done, if you seen the monster I really am. You wouldn't be smiling any longer." He turned from me. "I can't do this Bella. I won't ruin you."

"I've already been ruined Edward!" Why was I fighting so hard to keep him? He deserved better than me. I knew it...So why was I fighting it?

"You know what I mean Bella!" I flinched at his tone. "I won't end your life..."

Can't he see he was giving me new life?

"You won't hurt me..." He turned back to me, his eyes still blank and uncaring. I had to let him go...

"You don't know that for certain...I'm sorry Bella. We can't do this. Just promise me you won't do anything...reckless."

"Edward...Please, just talk to me. Tell me what happened!" I begged. If not to keep him, but to take his pain. Beyond his regret for ever letting me in, I could see a deeper pain. He may not want me, but that doesn't mean I didn't want him. That I didn't want his pain to go away. Call me a martyr but I wanted to feel his pain for him. Just to have something of him...

"I'm...I'm so sorry..." He didn't even look back. He burst through the backdoors so quickly my eyes couldn't follow. He ran. Taking my heart with him.

I sobbed uncontrollably, letting the full force of the situation hit me. I lost the only man I could touch, the only man I could or would give my heart to. Sure, I hadn't known Edward all that long, but it was long enough for me to fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. And he broke me.

He said he wanted to save me from being broken, when he broke me by leaving me. I didn't understand. His words said he didn't want to hurt me, why did he lie? I knew the truth. He didn't want me.

Could I blame him? My dull brown hair and eyes were nothing like Rosalie's beautiful golden locks and shining topaz eyes. My scared and broken body was nothing to Alice's flawless, graceful curves. I was no prize. I was nothing. Phil had marked me, tainted me, destroyed me. Edward had only done what any sane man would do.

Throw out the trash.

I clutched my chest in my hands, leaning over my knees as I felt a wave a nausea wash over me.

_His _hands gripping my arms tightly.

_His _mouth panting disgustingly on my neck.

_His _skin rubbing against mine like sandpaper.

_His _eyes boring into mine as he took away my world.

I shrieked loudly and dug my fingers into my hair, trying to push the memories out. Alice quickly wrapped her arms around me, rocking me gently and stroking my hair softly. Rosalie prying my hands out of my hair.

"I'm going to kill him!" Rosalie shouted. "How dare he do this to her!"

"I told him this would happen..." Alice's voice was low.

"D-Don't blame him...I-Its alright...It was wrong of him to l-love me." I managed through my sobs.

"Bella, he loves you. He is just being a selfish, stupid, irrational asshole!"

"Thats putting it lightly Alice." Alice rolled her eyes at Rosalie and huffed.

"Did he even tell you what he did, Bella?"

I looked up at Alice and shook my head.

"Bastard." Rosalie mumbled.

"He loves you, but he is afraid he will hurt you. But it seems he already has..." She sighed heavily.

How could he love me? How could anyone love me? It was blasphemy to even think it possible. But I loved him. Shouldn't you fight for the ones you love? Should I fight for Edward?

Alice's eyes glazed over, just as they had earlier in the day, before Edward...

She smirked and nodded, releasing me. "Go get him." I eyed her questioningly before she gently shoved me out the door.

That was all I needed.

I started to run. My ungracefulness getting the better of me and within the first few steps, I slid on the now soaked ground and fell to my knees. I didn't even notice it was raining...

I pulled myself off the ground and bolted through the trees, in the direction Edward had gone.

I ran through the dense foliage, tripping over roots and fallen trees. At one point, I had tripped over a protruding root and caught myself on a fallen log, scraping my hands and imbedding the wood in my palms. But it didn't stop me. I kept running, the rain pelting down hard on my face, the familiar sting only adding to my rapid heartbeat and ragged breathing. My lungs felt as if they would explode, but I had to find Edward. I had to fight for him. If he wouldn't fight for me, I would fight for the both of us.

I deserved that, right?

_No_

I felt like I had been running for hours, but to no avail. Until I saw him. Laying in a bed of mud and grass, the rain trickling down his damp hair and onto his marble skin. His clothes soaked through, outlining his hard, masculine shape. His face contorted in only something that could be described as anguish.

It broke my heart.

"Edward..." I called to him, my voice hoarse and gravely from crying.

He closed his eyes and shuttered. Was he cold? Or was my voice just that hideous. Maybe I shouldn't have followed him...

"Edward...Please." I begged.

He let out a shuttering breath but made no move towards me. Could he even hear me?

"Edward, talk to me..." I tried one last time. This time he peered at me though onyx eyes.

My knees gave out as sobs shook my body. My legs were now caked in mud. The rain stinging my eyes and soaking through the thin material of my clothes. I felt the dull stinging pain in my hands. I tried to ignore the nausea that crashed over me when the rusty smell of blood hit my senses. I had to keep what was left of me together. I had to get my Edward back.

"You're hurt." He finally spoke, lifting his head from the ground and rose to his knees.

"Its nothing..."

"I can't even protect you from yourself now, can I?" For once, anger washed over me.

"Dammit Edward! Stop it!" I shouted, surprising both of us with the volume of my voice. "Stop beating yourself up over nothing. You were right, back there...You can't protect me from everything. But the one thing you are trying to protect me from, is the only thing that brings me happiness. You."

"Bella, you don't understand-"

"Then make me! Stop running away, Edward. Just tell me what happened. Things will never get resolved by running."

_Wasn't that what I was doing?_

_No...This is different...Right?_

"Bella, please...Just let me go." His eyes were devoid of emotion, and it scared me. For the first time since I have met Edward, even after he told me what he was, I was afraid of him. He looked so unfeeling.

"Not until you give me a reason to. And so far you have yet to do so." I held my ground. He wouldn't push me away, I wouldn't let him. I needed him too badly. I was going to be selfish for once. I was reaching for something I wanted.

"Isabella, you wouldn't understand." He sluggishly stood from the muddy ground. His frame towering over mine. Eyes still blank.

"Then make me, Edward. Make me see! Because right now all I see is a coward!"

His eyes sparked with anger.

_At least it was something..._

"A coward? You don't realize how hard this is for me, Bella! How is me trying to protect you, being cowardly? I'm trying not to kill you for Christ's sake!"

I stood on wobbly legs and clenched my fists, digging my nails into my flesh and pushing the little wooden shards farther into my bloody palms. Where was this strength coming from? Phil would have backhanded me into a wall by now for raising my voice at him...Why was I yelling at an infinitely stronger man? A _vampire?_

_Because he wouldn't hurt you..._

"Because that is exactly what you are...A Coward. You are so afraid you are going to break me, crush me...That you are causing more harm than fixing, Edward! Did you for once think about how I would feel? Did you take any consideration into my feelings? Or do they not matter to you?"

_"You don't matter..."_

_"No one will ever want you now..."_

_"You belong to me..."_

_"You're mine..."_

I shook off the memories. I didn't need this right now!

"Your feelings will always matter to me! But..." His voice was trembling now. "I killed a man, Bella! There, I said it...When you left today, I tracked down the scum that attacked you at the theatre and snapped the neck of one of the men! Alice's vision was wrong...They got away, and I wasn't about to leave a threat to you go free. So I tracked them down." His eyes went blank again, and his voice was full of shame. "They were attacking another girl. But all I could see was you. It was you they had their hands on, you they wanted to defile. And I snapped. I couldn't fight the animal in me, the demon. I killed the leader. I killed a man. I didn't even know what I'd done until Carlisle and the others showed up. I...I didn't even know..."

I could see the anguish returning. Normally I would have wanted to run to him and comfort him like he always did me. But at the moment, I was angry at him. Angry that he was making decisions for me based off of his own fears. We could work them out together, but he just wanted to run.

"Thats it?" I said casually.

He blanched at me.

"Bella, you don't understand the situation! I could _kill _you! Don't you see the severity of this? Don't you see your life is at stake just talking to me!?" He asked me dumbfounded.

I was irate. Did he think I was stupid?

I could feel the blood pooling in my palms, my nails actually slicing through the skin. But I couldn't feel the pain, only the anger.

He was afraid he would snap and attack me?

Well, only one way to find out.

I took a deep breath and trudged my way towards him, the thick mud making my steps wobbly and uneven. Once I was standing in front of him, I thrusted my bloodied hand in his face, my hand shaking, not from fear or the cold, but anticipation.

"What the hell are you doing!?" He seethed at me, backing away slightly. I just pushed forward.

"Do it." My voice was an eerie calm. "Do it Edward...If you are such a monster, if you could so easily snap and take my life from me...do it." I pushed my hand closer to him. His body went ridged as he inhaled deeply. A deep growl emitting from his chest.

"Stop it Bella!" He hissed.

"Do it Edward! Kill me! Take my blood! If you are a true monster, then let the demon take control. You can have me. I give myself to you. My blood, everything. Take it!" His body shook slightly, his hand twitching with the urge to grab me. "Fucking kill me Edward!" I screamed.

Edward lurched forward, grabbing both of my hands and pinning me against a tree. He brought one hand to his mouth, hovering over the vein in my wrist. His growling became louder as my heartbeat became faster. His cool breath giving my flesh goosebumps as his teeth grew closer.

But then he stopped.

He brought my hand back up and pinned it against the tree again. And he let his monster free. He crashed his lips against mine, devouring me into a heated kiss, which I responded to eagerly. His grip on my wrists loosened and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body flush against his. I wasn't sure what to do with my bloody hands, so I draped my arms over his shoulders and kissed him vigorously.

His cold tongue darted out and traced my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, carefully avoiding his teeth. I let out a breathy moan as his hands trailed up my back and entangled themselves in my hair. His hips pinned mine to the tree, his jean covered arousal brushing against my core. The thin fabric of my dampened skirt leaving little resistance to the delicious friction his hips were creating. I gasped loudly, a jolt of pleasure shooting through my entire body.

I froze.

But not from fear, or from haunting memories of Phil.

No.

I wanted this.

But my gasp broke Edward from what ever spell he had been under. He quickly released me and hastily stepped away from me. His breath came out in ragged pants.

"Oh God Bella, I'm so sorry! I-I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to, I-"

"Edward, stop...I liked it." I blushed.

How did we go from screaming at one another, to Edward nearly sinking his teeth into my exposed flesh, to practically dry humping against a tree?

"Bella...That wasn't right. I shouldn't have done that." His brows furrowed, a crease forming on his forehead as he looked at me exasperatingly.

"Edward, I really didn't mind." I smiled slightly and took a step towards him. "You are not the monster you say you are, Edward. If my blood calls to you as much as you say it does, and you have yet to drain me dry...You are no monster."

He sighed and slouched down on a near by rock, dragging his fingers through his hair. "Its not without effort Bella. My throat is on fire right now...You have no idea how badly I wanted to taste you, drink your blood. But I-I couldn't. I can never allow myself to harm you."

"But don't you see? Yes apart of you thirsts for my blood...But you didn't give in. Even now, I'm bleeding only a few steps away from you, and you are resisting. You are not a monster, Edward. You haven't harmed me, even though you have had countless opportunities to do so. I offered my blood up to you, but you didn't take it." I dropped to my knees in front of him. His body stiffened momentarily but he quickly relaxed again, raising his head to meet my gaze.

"What about the man, Bella? I _killed _a man. I took his life, and couldn't stop myself."

"Because you saw him attacking another woman. An innocent, that could have wound up like me." I laid my head on his knee and looked up at him. "You protected someone from my fate. I love you Edward, and nothing will ever change that. I love you and I need you, always."

His smile was small, but it was there. He gently ran his fingers through my wet and matted hair. "I love you too Bella...I have never stopped, and I never will. But I'm dangerous, love. I'm dangerous...But oh god, how I need you. Just being away from you, the short time I was, was torture. I don't think I could have done it. Ran away from you like that? I couldn't...I would have been near by, watching over you." He brushed his lips against my temple and I let my eyes flutter closed. "For the short amount of time I have known you Bella, you have captured my heart. You have consumed me. You are the light to my darkness...You give me a reason to be."

Tears filled my sore and tired eyes. I have never been told such words. I didn't think it was possible, but I fell in love with Edward Cullen even more in that second.

"Edward, you have given me life again...You are my everything. You have consumed me just as quickly as I, you. I didn't believe in love, before I came here. Let alone that you could fall in love so quickly...I didn't believe in much of anything before you...But now...Now I just want to get better. I want to be better for you. I know I don't deserve you, but I want you. I need you. I love you."

"Don't you ever say you don't deserve me. You have got to stop belittling yourself." Edward picked me off the ground and cradled me in his lap, wrapping his arms around my shivering frame.

"You have to do the same then." I smirked at him. "No more calling yourself a monster or demon. And no more 'I'm dangerous' crap. Because you have already proven you will not hurt me. I trust you Edward. Its about time you started to trust me too..."

Edward chuckled and ran his nose along my jawline. "You're right. I was being pretty hypocritical, wasn't I? I'm so sorry Bella...Alice was right...She tried to warn me that I would only hurt you more...And to have seen you so broken, knowing _ I _did that?...I don't know how you will ever forgive me."

"Well I do. I forgive you, so don't doubt me anymore, okay?" I bit my lip and rested my head against his chest. "Will you stay with me Edward? Can we do this together?"

"Of course my love...Like I said. I probably would have been watching you near by anyway. I could never bring myself to leave you."

"Then trying to leave in the first place was a moot point, hm? If you were going to be near by, then you wouldn't be putting me out of danger anyway. I am safer with you than anyone Edward. And I want to be with you." I looked up at him and smiled. "I love you Edward Cullen."

He brushed his chilled fingers down my cheek and kissed my lips softly. "I love you too, Isabella Swan."

The crease on his forehead returned and he pulled me tighter to his chest, rising to his feet he held me bridal style. "Now lets get you to the house. You are going to catch your death out here...And you need Carlisle to have a look at your hands." I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled my body in close to his.

He smirked before he bolted through the trees. My grip on his neck tightened and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. I think you had to be a vampire to like this type of speed. Maybe someday I'll get use to it.

When I felt Edward come to a stop, I poked my head up. Alice came running to us, followed by Carlisle and a very pissed off Rosalie.

Edward's shoulders slumped, so I'm sure he was hearing their thoughts. For once I wish he could hear mine, so he could see how much I loved him, and always would.

"Oh Bella, you're a mess! I probably should have given you an umbrella before you left huh?" Alice gave me a small smile and winked at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get your clothes dirty...And I lost your shoes...I'm so sorry guys." I hadn't even thought about the state I had left their clothes in...They go through the trouble to clothe me and this is how I repay them? By damaging what looks to be an expensive outfit. "I'll replace it or pay you back, I promise."

"The hell you will!" Rosalie scoffed. "They are just clothes, Bella. Don't you dare start feeling guilty over some damn overly priced material."

"And don't even think about paying us back!" Alice smiled wider and waved us inside. "Come on Edward, get her inside before she gets sick!"

"Sit her down at the table Edward. I already have my medical bag ready. You should hunt." Carlisle gave a sympathetic look to his 'son' and patted his back.

"No, I'll stay with Bella. After she is taken care of, I'll go for a quick hunt. But not until then." Edward sat me at the kitchen table and kissed the top of my head.

"Edward, really. I'll be fine. You need to hunt."

"Bella, I have already been a neglectful boyfriend enough today, please just let me do this?" He pleaded.

_Boyfriend..._

I internally squealed. How could I say no to that?

I blushed and nodded. He took a seat beside me and eyed Carlisle carefully as he began cleaning the wounds enough to find the shards of wood.

"How on earth did you manage to do this, Bella?" Carlisle chuckled.

"I have no idea how I manage to hurt myself the way I do. I'm just the biggest klutz ever created." I smiled to myself. My Mother always teased me about my 'mishaps'. I missed my Mother...The one who still loved me.

Carlisle cradled my hand in his as he quickly, but efficiently, removed the splinters from my palms. Once he was finished he wrapped them both in gauze and sat up with a smile.

"When you go off to take your shower, I'll give you a plastic bag to place over the dressings."

Before I could thank him Edward gasped. Carlisle and I whipped our heads in his direction. Edward's eyes were wide, but a smile broke out across his face. It was almost blinding.

"What is it?"

"Didn't you notice Bella?" He asked excitedly.

"Notice what?"

"He touched you." His voice was quiet as he looked proudly at me. "Carlisle touched you and you didn't even flinch!"

_He touched me..._

_A man touched me and I didn't think of Phil..._

My eyes widened as I turned my gaze to Carlisle, who's expression matched my own.

"The only question is...Why?"

* * *

**ANOTHER CLIFFY!?!**

**Sorry for such a long wait for an update, yaw! I have been kinda sick, and a LOT of stress going on in my life right now. But who cares about that! XD You guys didn't think I was going to let Edward leave our Bella, now did ya? **

**Welp, there is the chapter! I just wanted to say thank you all for the reviews and favorites, and the support I have been getting for this story. You have NO idea how much it means to me that you have found this story worth your time. **

**I will update VITA as soon as I can, and IBE is...Well I am having a hard time with this story for some reason. I already have another story planned out for later on XD No worries! I will not start another story until at least one of the stories I have comes closer to an end. But I already have the banner made for the upcoming story soooo...If yaw are interested, Just (in a review or PM) ask me to post it on my profile as a preview lol! **

**Don't forget to check out the Twilighted threads for my stories, I post Previews of upcoming chapters! But thanks again sooooo much for the support Yaw! **

**Song for this Chapter is "Fragile" by Delta Goodrem (Go check it out on youtube! It helps set the mood!)  
**

**Reviewers get to have Edward dry hump them against a tree in the rain =3  
**


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